Unwanted Girl. MK Schiller

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СКАЧАТЬ welcome a daughter-in-law into their house and, most of all, grandchildren, more sons to bless their home.

      They had always lived in shades of poverty, but before they could manage to purchase nice things on occasion. A new sari for Nalini, a television a few years back, and tobacco for Depal, but now every day was a struggle. As if to cement her fears, she stepped into a pile of mud. Unfortunately, it wasn’t mud.

      She tried to scrape off the foul-smelling substance from her sandal, but it was no use. The smell followed her, taunting her misfortune. Finally, she walked to the river to wash it off.

      The river was high from recent rains. Its long channel flowed through several villages, providing an important fresh water source. Nalini washed the stench from her shoe. A memory of her son playing along these banks flashed through her mind.

      Why did you do this to me, God? The emotion of the question crumpled her composure. She wept tears so fat and salty they flowed with the same urgency as the water. Grief was an indulgence she could not afford. At home, she tried to be strong for her husband, but here alone with her solemn thoughts she was able to mourn freely. The pain poured out in her unanswered wails.

      Except she wasn’t alone.

      Another cry merged with hers. The voice, a loud screeching scream, silenced Nalini. She looked to the west and east along the riverbank, but didn’t see anything. Then she looked across from her. The invading sounds emerged from a small wooden box caught in the thicket. The kind of container they packed cashews in for export. She took off both sandals, lifted her sari, and waded across the river, trying to keep her skinny legs steadfast against the current.

      She ran her fingers along the crude puncture holes at the top of the box. She lifted the lid, saying a silent prayer for its occupant. The sight of the newborn baby nestled inside a dirty blanket wrenched her heart. Nalini carefully lifted the child. Who would do this to a baby?

      She lifted the material covering the child and confirmed her suspicions—a baby girl.

      An unwanted girl.

      Nalini rocked the baby gently and sang to her. The wails softened until the infant quieted completely. Then she carefully gathered water in her palm and cleaned the child as best as she could. She tore off a length of her sari. Carefully, she wrapped the child in it. She watched as the waters carried the dirty blanket downstream.

      What shall I do with you, precious one?

      Nalini wasn’t one to ponder for long. She was a woman of action. The city was even farther than the next village. She’d have to set the baby down to rest along the way. She didn’t want to take the wicked box, but leaving the baby on the dirty road was not an option either. She placed the infant back inside and cooed softly to her.

      She walked with the child for five kilometers toward the city. The stench of decadence and decay filled her nostrils, signaling she’d arrived. The place struck an unnatural fear in her with its fast traffic, crowded streets, and many dangers. There were beggars, including many children. One girl who couldn’t be more than eight wore a ripped frock and held a baby of her own. Although the infant was real, she carried it like a doll. That’s what it was…a prop to garner sympathy and additional coins. She gazed at the box in her arms. Would this baby suffer the same fate? Not if she had anything to do with it. This child would be raised in the suitable hands of someone who loved her.

      Nalini asked five pedestrians before an elderly woman pointed her to the local hospital. The formidable building hummed with activity as people moved with frantic speed. Everyone passed her, ignoring her inquiry for help. Some even shoved her. Her kind wasn’t welcome. She resembled someone who would more likely clean the hospital than be a prospective patient.

      She grabbed a doctor’s coat. He pulled away, his harsh look of disdain causing her to wince. “Doctor, sir, I found this baby. I don’t know what to do.” She spoke in a villager’s dialect he didn’t understand. His teeth clenched in frustration as he glanced at the baby.

      He pointed to a large desk in the corner of the room where a lady mid-yawn handed out badges to a long line of visitors. Shuffling slowly, she took in the huge sign above. Not that it did much good since she couldn’t read. By the time she reached the front of the queue, the attendant didn’t even bother covering her mouth during the next yawn. Speaking without taking a single breath, Nalini managed to explain how she’d come into possession of the baby. At least the impatient young woman appeared to understand her.

      The woman stood up and peered down at the child from behind the counter. “She looks healthy. We don’t take non-paying patients.”

      “But she’s not mine. She needs a home.”

      “We are a hospital, not an orphanage.”

      The wooden box was getting heavy, and the muscles in her arms burned against its weight. Nalini set it on the counter for fear of dropping it.

      “Take it off! It’s filthy, and this is a sterile place,” the attendant yelled. Nalini complied at once. There was a certain order of respect, and among these people, Nalini belonged on the bottom rung. It was a fact she had accepted all her life, and like all the women before her, never questioned.

      “Where is the orphanage, memsaab?” Nalini asked, using the proper term of respect for a woman in authority.

      The attendant told her the name of another city, but it was much too far for Nalini to walk, and she couldn’t afford cab fare.

      “That’s too great a distance. What do I do?”

      The attendant sighed, a look of scorn taking over her pretty features. “Take her to the police station then.”

      After securing directions, Nalini carried the crate another kilometer in the crowded streets until she reached the station. Here, amongst all the harsh glares of men, she felt even more out of place than in the hospital.

      Thankfully, the officer who approached spoke her local dialect. His face shifted between the baby and her as she went through the story once more.

      He held up his hands to quiet the mocking laughter of his co-workers. “Her parents didn’t want her. You should put her back where you found her, Auntie.”

      Nalini wondered if perhaps there was a language barrier. “Officer saab, I cannot. She will die.”

      “She’ll die, anyway. The question is do you want her to suffer? Old woman, you are in the wrong place.”

      She struggled to find the right words to make him understand. “Will you take a report?”

      “For what? No one wants her. No one will be looking for her. She is no one’s concern.”

      Nalini patted her chest, as much to calm her raging heartbeat as to make her claim. “She is mine…my concern. What do I do?” she asked for the third time that day.

      He dropped his voice, leading her toward the exit. “Salt works well. Put a pinch in the baby’s mouth. It takes little time, and there is no pain.”

      Nalini staggered back, shocked by his words. The barrier between them had nothing to do with language. He continued, as if she needed more clarification. “Listen to reason, old woman. She can suffer her whole life or be at peace in one instant.”

      She clutched the crate tighter as she exited СКАЧАТЬ