Rattler. Barry Andrew Chambers

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СКАЧАТЬ is it Treva?” She walked toward me slowly.

      “Mr. Foster, I have a question.” For a terrifying moment, I thought she was about to ask me about the birds and the bees.

      “Yes, Treva?”

      “Well sir, you’re really smart. Probably the smartest person in eastern Colorado.”

      I doubted this, but accepted the compliment with a smile.

      “What can I do for you, Treva?”

      “My family.”

      On those two words, I totally understood. The Spurlocks had been in a famous feud with the McMahons for years. No one knew who started the animosity, but these folks just plain didn’t like each other.

      Bruce McMahon, the grandfather, was said to have stolen a Spurlock pig. David Spurlock, Treva’s grandfather, was accused of burning the McMahon’s crops in retaliation. Their sons continued the rivalry with petty squabbles to bloody bar fights.

      One of the classic bar fights ever, occurred in a skirmish between Spurlocks and McMahons. The Blue Hog was the only bar in Pleasant Valley. Since there were no other watering holes, it was inevitable that a Spurlock and McMahon would meet up and lock horns.

      After seeing his place torn up numerous times, the owner of The Blue Hog painted a line right down the middle of his bar. One side was for the McMahons and the other side was for the Spurlocks. For a while, both families respected the boundary.

      The trouble started on a lazy Saturday morning in May. Buck Spurlock walked wearily through the swinging doors. He’d been up all night setting fence posts for the northern boundary of the Spurlock property. He sat heavily at the bar and tapped the counter with his dirty fingernails.

      “Let’s have a whiskey, Sam.”

      The bartender eyed him in judgment. “A little early, isn’t it Buck?”

      With bleary eyes, Spurlock slowly held up a silver dollar. “Whiskey,” he repeated.

      Sam shrugged and poured Buck a shot. He downed the drink and sat at the counter in a stupor. He lowered his head and was soon sound asleep.

      What Sam didn’t notice and Buck was unaware of, was Buck’s elbow had slid over to the McMahon half of the bar. Any neutral stranger who could sit where he wanted, would have gently nudged the elbow away to give himself room. But a neutral person did not show up.

      Around noon, Buck was snoring loudly as his body listed to the right, into McMahon territory. Two McMahons, Asa and Creighton, came through the swinging doors. They’d been to town to buy feed. When they saw the slumbering Buck leaning on their side of the bar, their tempers were pricked.

      “Lookee here, Creighton. We’ve got ourselves a trespasser.” Sam came in from the back, polishing a glass. His face went white when he took in the situation. He held his hands up at the two McMahons.

      “Now wait a minute fellas. I don’t want any trouble. Buck here fell asleep. He didn’t mean no harm.” Sam made a move to pull Buck back over to the Spurlock side of the counter.

      “Leave him be,” growled Asa. “This piece of Spurlock cow patty needs a lesson in geography.” Asa’s leg reared back to kick the stool out from under Buck. At that moment, a voice came from the bar’s entrance.

      “Better not, lessin’ you intend to take us all on.”

      Standing in the doorway were Elmer and Keenan Spurlock and their cousin, Odie. They had come to town to look for Buck since he had not come home the night before. The three men came through the wide swinging doors, shoulder to shoulder.

      Asa, who was the biggest man in the room, withdrew his foot and met Elmer halfway.

      “Look at him!” shouted Asa. “He’s on our side of the bar!”

      Creighton joined his brother. “He ain’t got no right to be lying on our counter, droolin’ all over it.”

      Sam was in a quandary. He stood there like a statue, trying to figure out what to do. The sheriff was out of town. That meant that Deputy Lawson was in charge. And if things hung true to form, when the sheriff was out of town, Deputy Lawson was most likely up at Beggerman’s Creek, fishing. Sam calculated the possible damage and decided on a plan that would save money.

      “Drinks are on the house,” squeaked Sam, “if you men promise not to squabble.” All five men turned their heads to Sam. Buck mumbled something in his peaceful bliss. Creighton licked his lips and rubbed his chin. Free drinks. It was a powerful argument against fighting. Elmer took off his hat and fanned his face. Asa had a tense smile on his face.

      “Well…maybe we could see our way to let you slide on this one. But you’d better remove that Spurlock from our spot.” Odie and Keenan looked at each other and nodded. They warily walked past Asa and Creighton and went over to Buck. Keenan tapped Buck on the shoulder.

      “Buck. Time to get up,” he said softly.

      Buck mumbled again and started to move away from Keenan, which put him farther on the McMahon side. Quickly, Keenan and Odie pulled Buck over to their end of the bar. “Come on Buck, wake up.”

      Buck opened one eye and spoke in a husky voice, “What are you doing here Keenie?”

      With shaking hands, Sam poured whiskey into a glass. The light brown liquid corkscrewed out of the bottle into the tumbler. Keenan took it and held it in front of Buck’s opened eye.

      “Free whiskey, Buck.”

      With that, Buck opened his other eye. “Is it Christmas?” he asked.

      “No, free whiskey,” said Odie.

      Buck snatched the glass and took it in one gulp. At that, the Spurlocks and McMahons took their respective sides of the bar as Sam poured glass after glass.

      Within half an hour, the piano player showed up and began playing a rousing medley of bawdy songs. The bar was filling up with regular clientele. Katie, the hostess, entered from her upstairs parlor and filtered in and out among the customers. Every Spurlock and McMahon in the place was drunk.

      Just as the church bells chimed one o’clock, more Spurlocks and McMahons showed up, looking for their brothers who had not returned from town.

      Buddy McMahon, a hot tempered man known for his knee-jerk reactions, was told by a drunk Asa about Buck Spurlock’s “crossing the line”.

      “I’m going to beat Buck to a pulp,” threatened Buddy. “We can’t let them hornswoggle us.”

      Asa tried to hold Buddy back. “Wait…wait…we got free drinks.”

      Thinking he had diverted disaster, Sam had started charging for drinks after the feuding families had gotten drunk. This made a very sober Buddy McMahon extra angry.

      “Free drinks, huh? I’ll get my own free drink.” Truth be known, Buddy was more upset that his brothers got free drinks than of Buck Spurlock’s indiscretion. He brushed off the drunk Asa and walked over into Spurlock Territory. He stopped at a table where Elmer and his brothers were playing poker. Before anyone knew it, Buddy grabbed СКАЧАТЬ