Sex In The Sanctuary. Lutishia Lovely
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Название: Sex In The Sanctuary

Автор: Lutishia Lovely

Издательство: Ingram

Жанр: Религия: прочее

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isbn: 9780758244963

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СКАЧАТЬ or drama department so they would understand the difference between performing for the secular world and performing for the Kingdom. They explained how one’s body could be used as an instrument of praise to God.

      All of the instruction and the rehearsing and the fasting and the praying had paid off. The Spirit of God was evident, even tangible, in the church as the group of eight graceful young ladies danced in their flowing white costumes. Tears flowed from a dancer’s eyes as she remembered her own surrender. One dancer’s face reflected joy, another showed serenity, another, reverence. Their bodies moved as one, twirling gracefully. All to thee, my blessed Savior… Their hands reached toward heaven. Audience members stood with their arms raised in worship. They, too, surrendered everything to God. Problems. Pain. Disappointment. Fear. Their voices rose to join the uplifted arms as saints told God their dreams, desires, needs. The final confirmation of acceptance and proof that God was indeed present was when Mother Bailey, who couldn’t fake getting the Holy Ghost if she tried, had stood crying and moaning reverently, “I surrender, Lawd, I surrender!”

      Pastor King’s message was the crème de la crème. “How To Turn Mourning Into Dancing” was a fitting topic, undoubtedly penned with the dancing troupe’s debut in mind. Had he been inspired after watching their rehearsal earlier in the week? Hope thought so. Perhaps God had spoken to him, as He’d spoken to her. It gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling to think she was on the same page with her pastor because it proved, in her mind, that she was indeed hearing from God.

      Those who tried knew that hearing from God wasn’t always easy. For instance, Hope had been sure she’d heard God say Shawn Edmunds, her former neighbor, first love and boyfriend all through college, was to be her husband. Why else would she have given him anything so precious as her virginity?

      It had happened a couple years ago, during the annual convention hosted by Perry Carlson, a leading minister in Tulsa with a “mega-church” of over ten thousand members. The opening services that Monday night had been extraordinary, and both Hope and Shawn were glad they’d been a part of it. Shawn, a talented bass guitar player with dreamy hazel eyes, filled in for the church’s regular guitarist who’d gone on the road. Known for her original gospel plays and praise dance teams, Hope was seated in the area reserved for special guests, second row center. It offered a perfect place to see and hear the choir and guest speakers, and it gave her two to three uninterrupted hours to stare at and appreciate God’s gift. That was what she considered Shawn to be—a gift from God with her name on it.

      The message that night was entitled “Having by Asking.” The preacher’s text was taken from the Book of James where he, a half-brother of Jesus, was explaining that sometimes people didn’t have what they desired simply because they didn’t ask for it or they asked for the wrong reasons. Hope went home, got on her knees and asked God for Shawn to be her husband. Then she got up, crossed the room to her desk, grabbed her Bible and plopped on the bed. She asked God for a sign, a confirmation that He’d heard her prayer and that the answer was yes. She closed her eyes, opened the book, placed a finger on the page, opened her eyes and read the words beneath her finger. “Wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh. What God has joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6.” The Bible fell out of Hope’s hands. She was taken aback, couldn’t believe where her finger had landed. But a clearer message could not have been received. She felt God Himself had spoken.

      The next day, Hope felt a confidence and freedom with Shawn she’d never known before. Although she felt that sex before marriage was a sin, she became more and more amorous in her affections toward her husband-to-be. Not one to complain, Shawn embraced this new and improved Hope as a sign that finally she believed he loved her and in return, just maybe, she’d let him hit it.

      Hope hadn’t planned it to happen. But after the Friday night services were over she, Shawn and another couple had gone out for a late dinner. This couple had just gotten engaged. Hope was elated for them. Hearing this news on the heels of her revelation that Shawn was to be her husband was further proof the season of marriage was here and her turn was coming. Shawn had given her thigh a little squeeze, and Hope squeezed right back, running her hand down to his knee and back up the inside of his thigh just beneath his manhood. She remembered almost touching it and jerking her hand away as if she’d touched a hot oven. At that very moment she thought of one of her grandmother’s sayings, “If you keep playing with fire, you gon’ get burnt.”

      They’d gone back to his place, a two-bedroom apartment not far from the university campus they both attended. Shawn put on a Babyface CD. “I just love this song,” he whispered as he gathered Hope in his arms and began a sensual slow dance across the living room floor.

      To this day, Hope didn’t remember exactly what happened next. It was like one minute they were dancing and the next minute she was in his bed, naked. It wasn’t the first time she and Shawn had fooled around, but she’d never taken all of her clothes off before. Lying next to him as he slowly outlined her body with the tips of his fingers, she recited in her mind the Scripture she’d read just days before. There was little resistance when he began kissing her mouth, eyes, ears, breast, and just a slight hesitation as he continued to tease her with his tongue down her stomach, hips, thighs…She covered her eyes then and was surprised to feel the weight of his physique when he covered her body with his own while placing his hand behind her knee and raising her leg in a slow, languid motion. She could feel him pressing against her and took her hands from her eyes, wrapping them around his strong muscled back and hugging him tightly. She didn’t remember a word being spoken, but she knew this time would be different. Shawn must have sensed it, too, because he continued gently, almost reverently, as if to make a hasty move might break the mood and change the atmosphere and Hope’s acquiescent mind. He grabbed his dick and rubbed it against her, higher at first and then lower and lower, positioning himself for entry. Could it be? he thought as a slight layer of perspiration broke out on his brow, and his heartbeat quickened. Suddenly Hope’s hand was against his chest.

      “Shawn,” she whispered, a mixture of longing and fear in her voice, “do you love me?”

      “With all my heart,” he answered. And the two became one.

      Life had been heavenly after Hope gave herself to Shawn. She was sure that marriage was their relationship’s destiny, even though no date had been set or ring given. But the summer after Shawn’s graduation, several months into this new level of their relationship, Hope noticed a change in his behavior toward her. It was almost imperceptible at first, like a smell that you notice but can’t quite define. There were sudden and unexplainable mood swings. They spent more and more time apart. Hope grew worried and questioned Shawn about the way he was acting. He became agitated. She did, too. Hope had thought by now they’d be making wedding plans.

      Summer passed. Shawn announced plans to relocate to Dallas and pursue a career in sports broadcasting. It wasn’t that Hope hadn’t known about his desire for such a career; she’d often encouraged it. It was the fact that she didn’t find out he actually had a job and was leaving until two weeks before he got on the plane.

      The signs became even more glaring once he moved. For instance, he insisted she not come down, saying he needed to get settled first and focus on his career. When after two months she still wasn’t welcome, Hope asked if he was seeing someone else. He was, a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader named Tiffany. Hope never saw his apartment. Six months after this heartbreaking news and mere weeks after graduating from college with a degree in English, she moved to Kansas City.

      Hope was sure she’d heard God this time. As soon as she put the wheels in motion to leave Tulsa and the experience with Shawn behind her, good things began to happen. She’d been devastated by their breakup, but was determined to move on with her life. Rather than pining away about a past that could not be changed, she threw her energy into creating a new, more favorable future. However, a lesson had been learned. Hope would not compromise her beliefs with another man. She wouldn’t СКАЧАТЬ