Comfortable Chaos. Carolyn Harvey & Beth Herrild

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СКАЧАТЬ When you sit down at home to watch a movie, do you:

      a) have to be doing several other things at the same time

      b) sit and only watch the movie

      c) sometimes also do another task

       Scoring Your Quiz

      For each “a” that you circled, give yourself 3 points.

      For each “b” you circled, give yourself 1 point.

      For each “c” that you circled, give yourself 2 points.

      • If your total was 21–27, you are a high CFC.

      • If your total was 15–21, you are a mid-range CFC.

      • If your total was 9–14, you are a low CFC.

       * * *

      

      When you total your scores at the end of the quiz, you’ll determine your coefficient for chaos. Keep in mind that these labels are not meant to pigeonhole you. Your current environment and stress level can affect your score on a particular day. Also, bear in mind that the demarcations are not hard and fast as your CFC falls within a continuum. If your score is near the cutoff point for a particular CFC, you may exhibit tendencies for two CFC types. The CFC score is just meant to give you insight into your preferences and provide you with valuable information when making work/life choices.

      The high CFC style

      If you scored as having a high CFC, you undoubtedly have a high need for busyness and excitement. You like to have several projects going at once and enjoy the rush of deadlines and commitments. “Everything in moderation” is not your mantra. In fact, if there is not enough chaos, then you will create your own!

      Cathy has five children, works at a full-time job, attends school at night, and has a very high CFC. She says, “I have a high tolerance for chaos because I have a low tolerance for boredom!” There definitely is an inverse relationship between a person’s tolerance for boredom and his or her tolerance for chaos.

      However, one danger of being a high CFC is that you may also have an overinflated view of what you can handle and are therefore more at risk to crash and burn. You are typically so afraid you are going to miss something that you often don’t hear your inner voice when it is telling you to pull back. It’s all busy, fast-paced fun until it becomes absolutely draining and overwhelming to the point of sheer exhaustion. High CFCs typically don’t pay attention to their inner voice until they have physical or behavioral manifestations. As a high CFC, you want to harness the energy of your style and use it to your advantage. But you also want to learn to pay attention to the signs that you are approaching the edge of your tolerance.

      The mid-range CFC style

      If this is you, your mantra is “all things in moderation,” including chaos and excitement. You multitask well and can handle a fairly high level of chaos for short periods of time, but prefer moderate levels on an ongoing basis. You may be able to handle heavy chaos in one area of your life as long as you have order and calm in the others.

      Carolyn is a classic example of a mid-range CFC. Working from her home, she likes the exhilaration of having multiple projects and enjoys hustling to meet deadlines. But she also is very aware of her need for pockets of time during the day where she can restore order to her desk and home and take a break from her to-do list. In fact for her, updating her to-do list is a form of taking a deep breath — as is cleaning up the kitchen countertops.

      This way of operating now feels completely natural to Carolyn. But when she first took the CFC quiz, she was surprised because she had thought she would score as a high CFC. She realized that she had operated as a high CFC in her corporate jobs, but it was hard to get the pools of calm water she craved. Although she could operate as a high CFC, the mid-range is her natural preference.

      Many mid-range CFCs tell us that if they get their “excitement quotient” met in one area of their lives, like work, they will purposely shift into a low CFC mode in another area, like home. We have also found in our interviews, that some mid-range CFCs were actually low CFCs who had moved their CFC along the continuum because of the fast pace and current norms of our society. They realize that in order to feel successful in this environment, they need to deal with a certain amount of chaos. They do what they need to, but may not necessarily like it.

      Whether you are a true mid-range CFC or have moved your tolerance to this level, pay attention to your mood and energy level when planning your day. You may feel like working without interruption and laying the groundwork for upcoming tasks. Or if you are in a high CFC mood, tackle lots of projects and go full steam ahead. For day-to-day planning, structure your time with alternative periods of high intensity and low intensity. This way you will create the pools of calm water you need so that you can handle, and enjoy, your time in the rapids.

      The low CFC style

      If you are a low CFC, you may have a purposeful and methodical approach to your work and your life in general. You aren’t crazy about surprises and feel most energized when your day is planned without overlapping commitments. You enjoy focusing on one task at a time and get a great deal of satisfaction out of a job well done. At home, you prefer a serene environment although it may be a challenge to get your family members to respect your wishes.

      It’s possible that you are also somewhat introverted. By definition, extroverts get energy from other people around them. Introverts get energy from within, so the only way that they can recharge their battery, so to speak, is by having the time and space to go within themselves.

      Ken is a therapist in private practice and he is married with one child. He is very deliberate about allowing enough time between clients to complete his notes and shift gears before seeing his next client. He says that others in his field are able to get more done, but he needs to structure his life this way in order to maintain the quality of work and parenting that he requires of himself.

      Ken may be mistaken that others in his field get more done. By scheduling his activities to take full advantage of his CFC style and by focusing intently on each client, he avoids mistakes and rework. Chances are Ken rarely, if ever, spends 40 minutes searching for a misplaced file! His style is just not the one currently reinforced by our popular culture.

      Another plus of the low CFC style is that you are more likely to be in tune with your innate boundaries, even if it isn’t on a cognitive level. You sense in both mind and body when you are getting too close to your threshold of chaos. Unlike the “more is better” high CFC type, you do not have an overinflated sense of what you can accomplish in a day, month, or year. In fact, you may not give yourself enough credit in this area. Don’t sell yourself short just because your style is not the one celebrated in our frenzied society.

      Is Your Chaos Working for You or Against You?

      Like stress, chaos is a double-edged sword. It can be quite positive at times and be a necessary part of your current priorities. But it can also be just as destructive. How do you know if your current chaos is too much?

      One key way is to assess whether, despite all the mayhem, you feel like you are making an impact on something, СКАЧАТЬ