Off On Our Own. Ted Carns

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       One of our critter family

      Mountain mornings are brisk on into early summer, so on my way back to the house I sometimes grab a handful of logs for the cook stove and fire it up. I don’t mean to heat the house, just a little bubble of radiant warmth where Kathy can pull up her mother’s rocker, drink her coffee and read something. I catch the radiance from my throne (the heavily pillowed left side of the couch). Then in perfect synch, the sun comes up, the air warms and the stove goes out on its own. Of course in the winter we shovel the paths and tend to the wood-heating stove first thing.

      After our customary kiss goodbye I usually read or write a little before I get to my work of keeping up the homestead. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday I do two-plus hours of morning yoga. Kathy goes to the Y to swim or workout sometimes before she punches in and sometimes after work she goes bike riding. She’s an avid triathlete.

      As you’ll learn in this book I’m a stickler for doing what needs to be done. So the first thing I do to warm up my work machine is to look for small tasks that need doing and I complete them (complete is the operative word). I might bury the kitchen scraps in the sunroom so the red worms can turn them into our fertilizer. I might take the recycling back to the shed and sort it into categories. When I say recycling I’m not just referring to the numbered plastics, tin and aluminum cans and colored glass and paper. I’m talking everything from plastic wrap, worn out pens, cigarette butts and chewing gum – in other words everything that’s not buried in the soil of the sunroom. The sunroom is the most important “organ” in the body of the house. It’s strangely beautiful and one of the reasons people call this place magical. Much more about the sunroom as we go along.

      This time of year I might siphon water from one rainwater storage cistern to another, or pump up to the main cistern uphill that pressurizes the house taps. If it’s raining hard you often see me running around like a madman, dressed in a Western slicker and one of my wide-brimmed Chinese rice paddy hats that I picked up at the flea market for a paltry sum.

      We live on a mountainside, so the main cistern works like a water tower, but it’s all underground so it won’t freeze. The spring water harvest is a big thing up here. There are cisterns and containers catching most all of the rainwater runoff from the roofs and there are hoses running everywhere to transfer and store it in larger cisterns. I also might need to head down the mountain to fill up the drinking water jugs from one of two springs we use.

      One difference between most people and us is our approach to water. We are totally water conscious (electricity conscious as well). Our awareness and concern for water is about as heightened as you can get. Our mind is on it through its entire cycle from collection, filtration, tap, drain and effluent dispersion.

      There’s no “pipe to nowhere” here. The gray water is filtered and released perhaps as clean as it came in and the one-gallon toilet flush feeds a methane digester whose effluent trickles down through an aggregate filter that might make a state-approved sand mound seem like child’s play. In our lifestyle you just don’t leave the water running, like you just don’t leave a light turned on for no reason.

      I usually do the laundry during the day when the sun is high or the wind is blowing hard. In the evening Kathy hangs it in what we call the “Maytag room.” That’s the room that faces down the mountain. It has its own wood stove. We store everything out there that can withstand freeze-thaw cycles because we only heat it in the winter when we need to dry our clothes. In the past week we have transferred all primary recycling operations to this room from the shed out back.

      Kathy and I split the dishwashing duties too. We try to ace the kitchen out at night, but often space it out because we’re either too damn tired or have a good movie to watch. I often face some part of that task in the morning, like putting the dishes away or taking the plastic wrap off the drying racks we hang it on after washing. The hot water tap at the kitchen is only connected to the system that’s heated by the wood stove that we heat the house with. In the summer you simply take a big teakettle down to the sunroom and draw from the solar hot water system.

      At any rate, I look for small jobs to complete and that gives me the strength, swift-kick momentum and productive mindset I need to face the bigger, more involved projects. Right now I’m building a new chicken coop, hauling woodchips in the dump truck from the piles down below and stripping out clean aluminum to take to the scrap yard. I try to schedule some time to help my dad on his old Jeep. I’ve volunteered to do all the new body mounts for the new fiberglass body he got to replace the old rusted-out steel one.

      I remember once asking a buddy how he was and what he’d been up to. He said, “Just looking for things to do to fill my days.” I know I had a shocked look on my face. I think it’s called cognitive dissonance when a concept just won’t register.

      An important part of my day is cartoon time. I’m currently addicted to “Word Girl.” Past addictions included “Jonny Quest,” “Jackie Chan,” and “The Monkey King.” Unless I’m really, really involved with something I drop everything at 4:25 pm and head to our 20-inch flat screen. By the way, at this very moment there’s a fat jib jab (gray squirrel) at the window about 11 inches from me. You should watch the dogs when I whisper those two words: jib jab. Bethany howls like a coon dog on a scent.

      Our days are in essence like everybody else’s days, but to others it’s kinda like how we view a foreign culture. The lives of the country folk on the south coast of Crete or the rolling hillsides of Italy looked to me like lives of simple, heavenly bliss, but they face challenge, success, defeat and dysfunction like everybody else. The magic I think I see in their lives is their norm, but it’s my dreamy-eyed, romantic projection that’s partly a mirage.

      I did my best to solidify that mirage into being for our lives here and found it can be done but not sustained. We’re all haunted inwardly by a fundamental sense of incompleteness that can easily fester into misery if we let it. Making an external change can numb or cover up drabness and normalcy for a time but you can’t stay high on vacation forever. The low always creeps back in to re-establish balance and regain its influential status. Best to make it a friend, not a foe.

      However! Grabbing a towel at 3 am to go out and sit in the hot tub under a bright star-lit sky is a sizable dose of heaven on earth. It knocks that bland creeper down a few pegs. Our life is one of extremes in both directions. Almost like controlled induced psychosis. All I did was I refused to be told how to live. I see right through peer pressure and TV commercials like they’re transparent ghosts. In admitting the “monkey-see monkey-do” aspect of myself I relaxed my hand in the cookie jar and was able to draw it back out into freedom of movement. And at this very moment the two frogs in the sunroom must wholeheartedly agree because they’re having one of the loudest, most СКАЧАТЬ