My House Our House. Karen M. Bush

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СКАЧАТЬ Maybe it was crazy to host a twelve-hour open house and grill dinner for 200 a bare month after moving in, but the adrenaline-fueled adventure of the move has left us feeling like we can tackle anything. Our new-old house looks surprisingly good, certainly the best we could manage in four frantic weeks of coordinating, culling and moving our individual possessions.

      The living room may be colonial at one end and contemporary at the other, but the colors blend and the green sofa makes the transition between the wildly different area rug patterns. Everyone’s furniture received a place of honor, even though the styles are so different. Jean’s softer color palette works well in the little room with the bay window and great view of the backyard and gardens. While we think we’ve created wonderful harmony out of dissonance, Jean’s daughter, Maureen, had a different view of the decor: “Nothing matches, does it?”

      Since we moved in, we’ve felt a bit like trailblazers. On first meeting, people in our new neighborhood frequently exclaim, Oh! You’re one of the three . . . just like The Golden Girls . . . How’s it going? What you’re doing is fascinating . . . Can I join the “commune”?

      During our first week, Jean went to the bank to change the address on her checking account, and even the teller knew our story. As you can imagine, our neighbors wondered what’s up with the three women who just moved in. Many of them are at the open house tonight, and already seem to be getting into the spirit of our adventure.

      Please don’t be shy. Help yourself to shish kabob – chicken, beef, or tofu – from the grill, drinks from the patio table. We know you won’t mind the mismatched assortment of paper plates, napkins and cups at this party. Go ahead: combine the shamrock plate, the Thanksgiving napkin and the Happy Birthday paper cup as you assemble your meal.

      The bizarre assortment actually has meaning; it symbolizes in a small way who we are and what we are creating. Those paper plates and napkins are the remnant paper goods from the combined 123 years of our individual adult homemaking. During the house tour, you might be as surprised as we are at how well the eclectic combination of household furnishings works together, considering that all the items were acquired separately during our cumulative 82 years of marriage and 41 years of single living.

      Although things appear to be well organized now, we’ve just barely pulled it together after months of turmoil. Buying this old house on almost a moment’s notice turned our lives upside down. We were actually shocked at the sudden way it happened, and so was everyone we knew.

      When asked what she thought about our plan to create a cooperative household, one relative returned a terse one-word e-mail: No. But once the surprise wore off, we got positive reactions from family, friends and neighbors.

      Joining in the communal spirit of the place, some of our guests have been hanging out at the party for many hours. One neighbor realized that her daughter’s favorite high school teacher is a guest, a discovery that started a flow of neighborhood teenagers stopping by to meet everyone. Feel free to stay as long as you like.

      Be sure to check with George, the tall guy, before you leave. He is so intrigued by this way of living that he started a sign-up sheet for openings at Shadowlawn. Of course, his name is at the top of the list. That would be okay except for two things. First, his wife, Patty, didn’t get to the list fast enough and is number six. Second, none of us has any intention of leaving.

      In the course of the evening, many people suggested, You should write a book. And so we have. But before we get further into our personal story, let’s pause for some context.

       Surprise! A gift sneaked onto our doorstep in the dark of night . . .

      TWO

      Living Alone/Living Together

      The company, the conversation, the sharing, the communication, the knowledge that someone is there. It must be psychological, because life seems easier if you have someone going through it with you.

       ERIC KLINENBERG, FROM GOING SOLO

      At the time we launched our “Golden Girls” household, we didn’t know anyone who had a similar arrangement in real life, only on TV. For that matter, we knew absolutely nothing about the intentional community movement and very little about the smorgasbord of shared living models that already existed in 2004 and have been skyrocketing in number since then. National and international, big and small, established and experimental, thriving or failing – they reflect visionary efforts to create meaningful community in diverse forms. In the universe of shared living/shared community, cooperative householding is a tiny niche.

      We think it’s odd that we didn’t know about the spectrum of shared living alternatives until we created one ourselves. Oz Ragland, the Seattle-based Cohousing Project researcher and intentional community veteran, chalked it up to geography: “Well, of course – you live in Pittsburgh. People in progressive hotbeds all over the country have been exploring alternative living options forever.”

      Now, even Pittsburgh is starting to show its progressive colors, with three cohousing communities in varying stages of existence. It appears we aren’t “making it up as we go along” in isolation anymore. We’ve become part of an emerging network of people who are helping to further define and promote cooperative householding (a.k.a. cohouseholding), as well as other viable and valuable ways to live in community. See, for example, The Cohouseholding Project, www.cohouseholding.com.

      But we knew none of this when we began our journey.

      The Numbers Tell the Story

      After the dust of our move settled, we started researching contemporary housing and shared living trends in the United States, and we discovered what we suburbanites somehow hadn’t noticed: demographic housing trends in the United States are changing significantly. For the current statistics and in-depth analysis, we went to Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg (2012), and to the 2010 U. S. Census.

Demographic trends show changing patterns of household composition. The percentage of married couples is shrinking. As of 2010, childless couples and singletons (single people living alone) comprised 56% of American households. Baby Boomers are in transition and living longer. Multiple causal factors associated with changes in household composition include new employment/work patterns, cultural shifts (most women are employed and financially independent, for one) and the impact of rising energy and transportation costs on housing choices.

      The 2008 bursting housing bubble and the economic recession altered the incomes, lifestyle options and priorities of many Americans. Nonetheless, single-person households continue to be on the rise – 28% nationally, 41% in our nearby city and 33% in our own traditional “family community” – despite the financial crunch.

      Living Alone: Single Families/Single People

      Single heads of households cover the age spectrum: younger singles (including single parents of dependent children) on one end, senior citizens on the other. Klinenberg interviewed many adults living solo who are happy, even delighted, with their lifestyle choice. However, his book provides a balanced picture of the СКАЧАТЬ