Jane. Maggie Nelson

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      on every page of Jane’s journal, and hating her sister so much

      she often imagined smothering her to death with a pillow.

       (JANUARY 20, 1960)

      Right now I hate my sister so.

      There is no sense of unison or understanding between us.

      I hate her so much.

      She is sarcastic, spiteful, snobby, snippy, and her whole attitude

      is one of being better than I. I know that she is and perhaps I am

      jealous, but I have no companionship with her any longer.

      Jealousy is a funny thing. I am jealous of Barb’s fun, dates, looks, assurance, way with parents, clothes, charm, age, etc. Yet it’s something hard to understand. I am not always jealous or always envious but just sometimes I want to have and be like her so badly that I could cry. It’s a shame for she deserves what she possesses and certainly should have it.

      If she hates me that’s OK. But I would give my life for her and she doesn’t care whether I live or die.

      I wish we could go to Florida. Maybe being together and having fun would help.

       SLOGANS

      My grandmother’s house was full of slogans—

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