Random. Adam Wallace

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      Random

      First Published 2015 by Classic Author and Publishing Services Pty Ltd

      This edition published 2018 by Woodslane Press

      Text Copyright © Adam Wallace 2015

      Illustrations Copyright © Adam Wallace 2015

      Digital Distribution: Ebook Alchemy

      eBook Conversion by Winking Billy

      No part of this printed or video publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electrical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright owner.

      National Library of Australia

      Cataloguing-in-Publication data

      Wallace, Adam, 1972- author, illustrator.

      Random / Adam Wallace, author, illustrator;

      Adam Laszczuk, designer.

      9780994275486 (eBook)

      For primary school age.

      Children’s stories.

      Laszczuk, Adam, book designer.

      A823.4

      Do not stick this book in your ear.

      This book is not a toy or a three course meal.

      To the awesome kids in Miss Monks’

      2014 Grade 3/4 class at Pembroke P.S.

      Thanks heaps for being my test group!

      I’m Adam Wallace. You can call me Wally.

      Where am I? Here I am!!!

      In two of my previous books, Better Out Than In and Better Out Than In Number Twos, I included an author’s note, a warning if you will.

      Look, to be honest, it was just me rambling on about anything that popped into my head, and now there is a whole book of this random stuff!

      Which means, ‘Oh My God’. It doesn’t mean, as I initially thought, ‘Old Men Giggled’. And LOL doesn’t mean ‘Lots Of Love’! I found that out when someone died and I wrote to their wife and said,

      “I hear that your husband died. I’m sorry. LOL.”

      It didn’t go down too well.

      Anyway, like I said, this is a book. I thought I’d let you know, because if you thought it was something to play tennis with, you would not win one single game using this book as a racquet.

      No, this book is for reading, and it makes me so happy that you’ve chosen to read it.

      It’s pretty random at some points. At other points it’s not random at all. Some bits are sort of random but not really.

      I don’t know why I said all that ... I basically just described life.

      Let us continue.

      Inside this book are pages, and on these pages are my thoughts. There are ramblings and ideas, lists and fears, rhymes and stories, and past and present glories.

      There are actually no recipes in this book that contain rice.

      There are no recipes containing tofu, apples, or monkey butts either.

      Oh, except for the roast monkey butt with tofu and apples.

      That has all those things plus parsley.

      So then.

      Anyways.

      I hope you enjoy reading this collection.

      It was fun writing it.

      I like dancing. I do. Unfortunately, in a family where everyone dances, one of us had to miss out on having rhythm. It wasn’t my mum, who taught ballet for 25 years. It wasn’t my sister, who learnt dancing for 20 years and who danced professionally for a long time. It wasn’t my dad, who learnt tap dancing. It wasn’t even my nana, who was still busting a move in her 80s.

      No. It was me.

      But, despite the fact that I’m not a great dancer, and despite the fact that while dancing I have stepped on people, kicked people, stubbed my toe, broken a finger and broken a door, I love it! And I do have some favourite moves. What I am going to do is flick book my way through the moves. So go. Bottom right of the page. Start flicking to see my stick man bust a move!

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