Fault Lines. Nicolas Billon

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СКАЧАТЬ last year, Thomas drowns …

       Judith puts out her half-finished cigarette.

      It’s hard not to think, on some level, that this family is cursed. Because – come on! What the fuck is that? That’s a sick fucking sense of humour.

      But maybe, maybe now we can think about having one of our own. Tanya’s fourteen, so … so it’s a possibility, it’s an option. Right? Right. Only, now, ‘climate change’ is important, I mean, you film one PowerPoint presentation and people get real worked up about it. And I’m not an idiot, I understand the problem. I get it. But when you’re married to one of the world’s leading glaciology experts? Icebergs are a big deal, glaciers are a big deal, Greenland is a big fucking deal, but the state of your wife’s reproductive organs … ?

      Well.

      He calls me, from whatever middle-of-nowhere armpit town he’s staying in, and he tells me about this island he’s discovered. And there’s something in his voice – excitement? I can’t quite put my finger on it. And he says, ‘Judith, come visit. Bring Tanya and come see this place … ’

       Judith puts up her index finger.

      ‘Sweetheart, it’s so beautiful, it’s this beautiful barren landscape …’

      I cry when he says that. Because that’s me, he’s just described me … and that something in his voice? It’s love, paternal love, the love one gives to something one has birthed, but that love belongs to me. Me. Me. No one else. Not that toothless skank whore Greenland, not her. It’s not fair.

      It’s not. Fair.

       Judith lights a new cigarette.

      He didn’t have the … the decency? The delicacy? To consider, just … consider … naming it after me. Who the fuck am I, right?

      Yeah.

       Takes a long drag from her cigarette.

      So I call David. He’s one of my ex-fuck-friend character actors, and I invite myself over. I like him because we have this game, he calls me his ‘little whore’ and that’s how he fucks me. And he never says ‘please’ and he never says ‘thank you.’

       Judith looks out, her expression impassive.

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