Real and Phantom Pains: An Anthology of New Russian Drama. John Freedman

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СКАЧАТЬ of blood runs from BLACK GUY’s leg.

      BOY (Trying to be funny): You afraid?

      GIRL: Yes. Of this and that. (She gestures to the dead POLICEMAN.)

      BOY: Don’t be. I sat with my Mom and Dad for three hours waiting for the cops. They don’t move. They don’t speak. They just lie there, that’s it. I opened the door, in case he gets out, but he’s stuck worse than Winnie-the-Pooh in the honey tree.

      (BOY pulls on BLACK GUY’s leg.

      BLACK GUY moans and comes to his senses.)

      GIRL: Don’t hurt him –

      BOY: He wasn’t hurt when he tried to kill us.

      GIRL: Doesn’t matter. It makes you the same as him. And if you... I won’t be your friend.

      BOY: Ok. No, you’re right... so what should I do?

      GIRL: I dunno. Call the police?

      (BLACK GUY’s legs twitch. He screams from pain.)

      BOY: Hush, hush! No one’s gonna rat you out to the cops. Relax.

      GIRL: You aren’t gonna call?

      BOY: Why should I? He came here with the cops. You want more like him here? What would we do then? Yeah, sure, they may do nothing now, but they’ll come find me... at night. Calling the cops is the last thing we want to do.

      GIRL: So, what? You’re going to keep him here?

      (BOY picks up Policeman’s gun and pulls out the clip. BOY snaps the clip back into place. He goes to the Policeman’s body, picks up Black Guy’s revolver, flips open the cylinder, empty casings fall to the floor.

      BOY puts both guns on the table, side by side.)

      BOY: No bullets.

      (BOY covers the Policeman with a blanket from the sofa.)

      Now he won’t frighten you.

      GIRL: Thank you. I didn’t used to be afraid of anything, but at camp, Sushka and me conjured up a troll –

      BOY: Wow! You conjure trolls too?

      GIRL: Absolutely! Girls invented fortune-telling and conjuring –

      BOY: I wasn’t arguing... Is the troll the only thing you’ve summoned?

      GIRL: I don’t know how to conjure, Sushka did it, but she’s the only one who knew how to call the troll.

      BOY: We’ve conjured a hundred trolls, and once we summoned it using... holy cow!

      GIRL: What?

      BOY: Very cool.

      GIRL: Why?

      BOY: Cause I figured it out.

      GIRL: What?

      BOY: What kind of inheritance I got.

      GIRL: What kind is that?

      BOY: Well, Mom – She could leave me whatever... Right?

      GIRL: Yes.

      BOY: But she left me this.

      GIRL: So?

      BOY: She wanted to destroy it herself, but couldn’t. Now it’s up to me.

      BLACK GUY (Hoarse): Oh, Jesus –

      GIRL: What’d he say?

      BLACK GUY: Don’t be stupid –

      BOY: And you’re real smart hanging there –

      (BOY pushes Black Guy’s leg.

      BLACK GUY screams.)

      BOY: See?

      GIRL: What’s he saying?

      BOY: You’re ready to listen to the enemy and I haven’t even finished him off yet?

      GIRL: But he’s alive and trying to talk.

      BOY: All right, yeah, fine. No problem. But I know what I’m doing. Some awesome, super-hot-shit I came up with.

      GIRL: Then you go first.

      BOY: Right here and now, we’re going to summon the Queen of Spades and give this guy to her. That way you can see what she is.

      8

      GIRL: And what is she?

      BLACK GUY: Hey, little fucker, you bring anyone in here and I’ll fucking pull your fucking guts out.

      BOY: Shut the fuck up.

      GIRL: If you don’t stop swearing, I’m going to go away... forever.

      BOY: Don’t go. I have to get the dirt from the grave.

      (BOY goes to the kitchen. GIRL follows.

      BLACK GUY tries to pull himself out of the hole. Boards crack. BLACK GUY screams and hangs motionless. Boards crack.

      BOY and GIRL return from kitchen.

      BOY wears yellow rubber gloves and carries a bundle.)

      BOY: Don’t ever touch it with your bare hands. If you do, you die.

      GIRL: Then how did you get it? With a shovel?

      BOY: What shovel? Mishka scooped it up. I watched.

      GIRL: And what happened?

      BOY: Well, that’s it. He’s all laid up. Broke a leg on the way back from the cemetery.

      GIRL: You didn’t know about touching it?

      BOY: Of course not. That how I found out. Now, we pour it in a circle...

      GIRL: Should I sweep up? Mom yells at me when I track in dirt...

      BOY: No, um, it’s ok when you’ve got gloves on, so I’ll do it. See, you pour a circle.

      (BOY pours a circle.

      BLACK GUY’s knees bend involuntarily. He screams.)

      BLACK GUY (Prays in Arabic and Swahili): Allahumma In-nee-a toobu ilaylca minha la ar-ji-u ilayhaa abada. Mungu atanilinda ubaya wenu hautanifika.

      (Boards crack under BLACK GUY’s struggling weight.)

      BOY: Get the deck of cards from the nightstand, there, to СКАЧАТЬ