Going Nuclear. Stephen Hart

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СКАЧАТЬ policies. That’s what I mean.” Joshua took a deep drag on the joint and passed it to Arthur.

      “It’s not just black guys that are being sent over there.”

      “No, I know there are white guys over there, too. But there are also a hell of a lot of white guys who come down with sudden medical problems, problems that qualify them for a medical deferment. And what about student deferments?” Joshua glared at Arthur.

      “What about student deferments?”

      “How many black guys do you think are in college? How many black guys from the inner city have that as an option? Let me tell you, very few. Student deferments are the most blatantly racist aspect of this whole damned war. It’s like the government is saying that white guys are too intelligent to risk losing in battle. Their brains are just too fucking valuable. So we’re going to have to protect them and let the lower-intelligent black guys do the fighting and dying. You know, a little natural selection at work.”

      “White guys are getting killed there, too, educated white guys. My brother was killed there.” Arthur took a small hit and passed the joint to Joshua.

      “Really?” Joshua’s tone softened. “Sorry, man. Some white guys have gotten killed, sure, but the number of black guys getting killed is disproportionately higher by one hell of a lot. You have to admit that much. You must know there aren’t many white guys, from good families anyway, actually doing the fighting over there.”

      “I don’t know the exact numbers, but I suppose you could be right. I would assume there’s a much higher percentage of white guys with student deferments than black guys.”

      “That would probably be a safe bet.” Joshua took a drag on the joint and passed it to Arthur, holding the smoke for a long time before exhaling and taking a deep breath. “But no matter how it breaks down, this bullshit has got to stop. So tell me about growing up in the Army. You say it was hard.”

      “Yeah, but I’m not saying it was all bad. It wasn’t. In a way it may have even toughened me up some, but it wasn’t easy. That’s all I’m saying.”

      “What did your father do that toughened you up so much, besides inspecting your bed and shoes every day, that is?”

      “Oh, I don’t know, different things. A lot of it was mental more than anything else. He didn’t want us to be too soft or anything.”

      “So what did he do?”

      “I don’t know, lots of things.”

      “Like what?”

      “I don’t know.” Arthur paused and looked at the floor. “Okay,” he began, looking up. “I remember one thing that sort of fits. This was when I was about five. It was springtime. We were living in a house in Oklahoma with a big backyard and trees and everything, and my mother had just put in a small garden. So one day I went out back and saw some rabbits hopping around, little ones and big ones, with cotton tails and everything. And I thought they were kind of neat, so I went in the house to get a bowl of water to set out for them. But my dad was there, and he asked me what I was doing. And when I told him, he immediately got his twenty-two and went out and started killing all the rabbits he could scare up, even the little ones. And he made me watch. At first when he started shooting, I cried and screamed for him to stop. I was just a kid, of course. But that only made him mad, so he started shooting more, anything that moved, any clump of grass or bush where a rabbit might be hiding. When it was over, he sat me down and told me that he had killed them because they were eating things in my mother’s garden. He told me to stop crying and act like a normal boy. He said he wanted me to grow up to be a soldier, not a girl.”

      “So your father killed some rabbits. I hate to tell you this, but rabbits get killed every day. Are you saying that made you tough?” Joshua took a last hit from the joint.

      “I was only five. But there’s more. That night I went out to find the rabbits, to see if any of them had lived and needed some help. I found them in a burlap bag, all dead. I tried to put an ear back on one, but it wasn’t any use. And then a weird thing happened. I started laughing and couldn’t stop. It was like everything was funny: my dad, the rabbits, the ear, everything. And from then on, nothing like that bothered me.”

      “Nothing like that bothered you? I don’t know. Sounds a little strange, more than anything else. But tell me, if watching your father shoot the rabbits made you so thick-skinned, why are you still talking about it now?”

      “I was just giving you an example of what it was like growing up,” Arthur replied, frowning.

      “Okay. Okay,” Joshua said, waving an open hand at Arthur.” It just sounds to me like your father’s view of life is a little different than yours, that’s all.”

      “What do you mean?”

      “I mean, the way people see things is usually based on the way they want to see things. Your dad wants to see himself as an officer, practical and tough, not overly sensitive, which is not all that different from a lot of black guys I know, by the way. But you don’t want to see things that way because you don’t have any interest in being in the military, and for you, being sensitive about something that you care about is just an honest emotional reaction.”

      “I don’t know, maybe. So do you think of yourself as tough and practical?”

      “Sure, I have to be.”

      “Why?”

      “Look at what I’m up against. Nixon and his crowd play for keeps.”

      “What do you mean?”

      “Take the election last year. Look at how close it was. Then ask yourself, who would have won if Bobby Kennedy hadn’t been assassinated.”

      “You think Nixon had something to do with his assassination?”

      “I think it’s possible. Very possible. Can’t you just hear Nixon telling someone that there is no way in hell he’s going to lose to another fucking Kennedy? And Nixon has been in bed with the CIA and the FBI for years, two undercover organizations that hated Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King as well.”

      “I don’t know. It’s easy to speculate. But nobody’s actually after you, are they?”

      “Not that I know of, but with this government, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

      “Why would you think the government might be after you?”

      “Well, for one thing, I’m working with some very serious people now who want to take things to the next level.”

      “The next level?”

      “Yeah. The nonviolent approach just doesn’t work, so we’re going to have to start playing the game on the government’s terms.”

      “More like the Panthers?”

      “No, this is bigger than the Panthers, a lot bigger. But I can’t say any more about it. Someone could be listening.”

      “You think your office might be bugged?”

      “Could be. I mean, after all, I am black and politically active.”

      “You СКАЧАТЬ