How to Influence People Easily and Effectively: Unlock the Secrets of Persuasion and Get What You Want Out of Life. Keanu M. Christopher

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СКАЧАТЬ to believe in yourself.

      When reading this book, learn to shut off the negative self-talk that will distract you. When you hear that little voice say, “I cannot do that” tell yourself this, “watch me.”

      How you think affects your actions which are why we are opening this book about communication methods with a section about positive thinking. Your ability to think and to be positive is vital to your success.

      Read this book with an open mind. Do not let the TV drone on in the background, turn off the radio, put your phone on silent and just allow yourself to read and absorb the material. Distractions will keep you from learning and from understanding the material.

      3. Believing is Achieving

      What is the difference between the person who gives their proposal at a business meeting and gets chosen and the person who gives their proposal and does not get chosen?

      Chances are the person who gave the better presentation while being confident won.

      Let us look at two examples.

      Employee A has a well-thought out proposal, with excellent solutions to some of the companies more pressing problems. He has outlined a two-year plan to systematically make the relevant changes to help the company improve profits and get new clients. His theories are sound and are modeled after strategies that have been proven to work once implemented. Employee A has been with the company for seven years.

      Employee B also has a well-thought out proposal, using methods that have not been tested but they look good on paper. It promises a quick fix, in under a year for the company. The ideas sound solid, but can be risky, especially since they have not been tried before. Employee B has been with the company for only one year.

      When employee A gives their presentation, they are nervous. They stumble over their words and end up skipping some of the key points because they allowed themselves to get flustered; they rush through the presentation. Employee A mumbles through the presentation, telling the others that they think these ideas will work, and not making eye contact and is hard to hear at times.

      Employee B gives their presentation in a clear voice, making sure to look at everybody in the room at least once. They speak passionately about their ideas and why they know that they will work, they never use the word “think.”

      Would you be surprised that employee B’s proposal was picked? Employee A was surprised, he had the better track record, and even the better ideas but he was unable to sell these ideas.

      Having ideas is one thing, persuading others is another thing entirely. Employee B knew just how to influence the people in the meeting and those are the techniques that you will be learning from this book.

      This showcases the power of believing in yourself. If you do not have confidence and believe in what you are saying, no matter how right you are or how good of an idea you have, nobody will listen to you and you will be unable to influence anybody.

      Case in point, employee B, who got his proposal accepted; a proposal using untried theories about how to boost business and solve ongoing issues with the company. Confidence is why a newer employee with an unproven track record could get a risky proposal picked over a long-term employee who had a proposal full of tried and true methods that have been proven to work.

      Had employee A had even half of the confidence that employee B had shown, they very likely would have walked away with the winning proposal. People do not follow people who are unsure of themselves.

      Winners are not made because people tried something and succeeded, winners are made because people told themselves that they would succeed and they did.

      Athletes do not try to beat their records, they just do it. What would happen if right before performing a dangerous trick the athlete thought to themselves, “I hope this work?” It is easy to determine what will happen, they will fail.

      Successful people do not set out to try; they set out to accomplish things. If they do not succeed, they get up and try again, making adjustments to their plan.

      Hoping and trying are words that you need to stop using. These are not power words and they are not words that lead to success.

      Do not hope that you win, go for the win and give it all that you have. Do not try to win, just win. Power words are “I will” and “I can” because they leave no room for failure or doubt.

      When you say that you will try, you are already admitting that there is a chance that you will fail.

      When you admit up front that there is a chance that you will fail, you have doomed yourself. Believe in yourself and stop leaving any room for doubt. Be employee B and even though you might have the riskiest proposal, as long as you believe in yourself, you go up there and you sell it.

      Employee A told the audience that his proposal should work even though those methods were solid and have worked for other companies. Employee B told the audience that his proposal will work, even though his ideas had never been tested.

      The words we pick are important. For example, if you tell somebody that something “might” work, they immediately think that there is a chance of failure because when we hear the word might, we associate is as a possible success or failure, possible, not solid.

      Our core beliefs help us associate certain words with certain outcomes. We believe that the word try means that there is a chance of failure. You need to start picking words that will trigger positive associations; play off of people’s beliefs about the positive, and not the negative.

      We are conditioned to respond to words a certain way, understanding that will help you be able to communicate better but you need to believe in the power of the words that you are saying.

      If you do not believe in yourself or in what you are presenting to others, they will pick up on it. Your tone, your body language and your entire demeanor will tell others that you do not have confidence in yourself or in what you are presenting and they will not be able to be persuaded.

      If you want to achieve success by influencing others, you need to believe in yourself first.

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