Walk With Me, Jesus: A Widow's Journey. Ronda Chervin Ph.D.

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      "I was caught by the cords of death ..."

      David, the warrior king, knew what it was to face death. As widows, we face this enemy more intimately, profoundly. Take a moment to meditate on this psalm, and journal about it.

      

PRAYER OF THE DAY

      Lord,

      When the grip of my memories rise up and threaten to overwhelm me, You have always been there to hold me steady. Thank You for never letting me walk alone.

      LONGING AND SILENCE

      Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me,

      And I say, "Had I but wings like a dove, I would fly away and be at rest.

      Far away I would fee; I would lodge in the wilderness.

      I would hasten to find shelter from the violent storm and the tempest,

      Psalm 55:6-9

      In By Grief Refined, Alice von Hildebrand speaks of her own experiences when she writes:

      [Think of] the widow whose human life was anchored in her spouse, and whose existence has been shattered by his death ... the loss of the person who was, humanly speaking, the sun of her earthly existence.

      It is a terrible thing to wake up in the morning, stretch one's hand to caress the hand of the beloved, and grasp the void. To fall asleep is difficult – one's mind seems to be spinning, one's heart is restless, one's will is frozen... We try desperately to wind back the clock, hoping to see him one more time, hear his voice one more time, tell him one more time that we love him and the bitter words come to our lips: "Never, never again."

      Perhaps you can identify. You feel as if you died, too ... a spiritual death that testifies to the strength of the bond that united the two of you, and to the depth of your sorrow. Since death is the separation of soul and body, it is not surprising that by being torn away from the person with whom we were one flesh, a part of us dies as well.

      How can people who do not believe in God or the immortality of the soul, bear this loss? For the Christian widow, the loss is still hard to bear - and yet the precious water of your tears irrigates a rich harvest of new life.

      Your beloved remains mysteriously close in silence. Every time you wake up to find nothingness, you repeat to yourself, "No, I know that he is still there. He is invisible, but he is more loving than ever. I must now learn a new language, a new way of communicating with him."

      You will never get over it. But in time you will know that love is stronger than death.

      

FOR PONDERING

      "By being torn away from the person with whom we were one flesh, a part of us dies as well." Have you experienced this? When and how?

      "Love is stronger than death."

      In what ways and at what times do you feel closest to your husband?

      

PRAYER OF THE DAY

      Come Holy Spirit,

      inspire me to speak words wise,

      encouraging and consoling.

      Jesus, Bridegroom of Widows help me.

      Mary, Exalted Widow help me.

      Widow saints, help me.

      ST. ELIZABETH OF HUNGARY: LIKE A BENDING WILLOW

      "Is that the secret of fruitful widowhood?

      To bend like a willow with adversity

      until we can stand strong again in the Lord?"

      Said of St. Elizabeth of Hungary

      One of the most famous young widow-saints was Elizabeth of Hungary (1207-1231). As an infant, Elizabeth was betrothed to Louis of Thuringia. At four years of age she was taken in procession to Thuringia to be prepared for her future life as a queen.

      But the little girl was not at all the "princess type." Serious and prayerful, she was ridiculed by adults in the court. Happily, the one person who totally understood her was her future spouse, for he was the same way. Together the young people dreamed of the great deeds they could do for Christ when they grew up. They married when he was twenty-one and she was fourteen. They loved each other deeply, and spent many hours in prayer together.

      When Louis died in a Crusade, Elizabeth wailed for days. "Dead! Henceforth all earthly joys and honors are dead to me!" she exclaimed. The death of Louis enabled his relatives to banish the hated pious princess, who disgusted them with her fanatical religious acts and whose generosity would impoverish them.

      And so, immediately following her widowhood, Elizabeth knew poverty, homelessness, and persecution. All these trials she endured because of the simultaneous ecstatic mystical experiences she was enjoying. It was with gaiety that Elizabeth donned beggar's rags as she continued to serve the poor, with herself and her three children now also members of the class of the poorest.

      The first night our widow-saint left the castle, she spent in a pigsty. Two faithful companions came with her. Delighted to finally be able to live like Saint Francis, Elizabeth rejoiced in her new freedom. Her biographer describes her as being like a willow growing by the riverside. When a flood comes, the willow bends. Undamaged, it straightens out after the flood. Is that the secret of fruitful widowhood? To bend like a willow with adversity until we can stand strong again in the Lord?

      Finally the ex-princess was given a financial settlement from Louis' family. She established a hospital in Marburg, where she lived in small quarters. She was free now to nurse and care for the ill without worrying about her relatives' fears. In the sick she always saw the Lord.

      The source of Saint Elizabeth's strength was her contemplative prayer and frequent reception of the Eucharist. Often she was seen with a shining face after receiving Communion. She described seeing the heavens open, and Jesus consoling her for all the sufferings of her life, making her entirely his.

      At the age of twenty-four Saint Elizabeth died peacefully, surrounded by those who loved her, including a beggar child she had nursed from scurvy. At her death the singing of multitudes of birds could be heard, just as at the death of Saint Francis.

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