The Red House Mystery and Other Novels. A. A. Milne
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Название: The Red House Mystery and Other Novels
Автор: A. A. Milne
Издательство: Ingram
Жанр: Контркультура
isbn: 9781456614010
isbn:
TALKER (considerably upset by this). Wait a moment, Master Duke; I have myself thought of retiring these many months past. Indeed, it was only for your sake--
SINGER. No, no, I cannot allow it. It is only for my sake that you are saying this. We will take the road this afternoon. (Heroically) Indeed, I would infinitely prefer it. I am enamoured of the wandering life.
TALKER. It is a great life. It means everything to me.
(They stand side by side looking gloomily in front of them. Gradually they begin to glance towards each other; they catch each other's eyes--and understand each other thoroughly.)
TALKER (clapping the SINGER heartily on the back). I knew it, I knew it! You and the wandering life!
SINGER (delightedly). You, too, Johannes! You've had enough of it!
(They suddenly turn round and go up and down the room together, piping and singing. A genteel cough is heard outside the window, and the MOTHER is seen for a moment. The TALKER turns round with his pipe to his lips. They go up the room together again, and at the top the TALKER, with a wave of the hand, leaves his companion and goes out. He is seen passing the window.)
[The DAUGHTER comes in.]
SINGER. Sweetheart!
DAUGHTER (going to him). Is it all right?
SINGER. Everything is all right, beloved.
DAUGHTER. You have told him?
SINGER (nodding). It couldn't have fallen out better. He, too, was tired of wandering and wanted to settle down.
DAUGHTER. I told mother. She seemed glad. You know, I think she seems younger about something.
[Enter FIDDLER.]
FIDDLER. Are we starting this afternoon?
DAUGHTER. Oh, Fiddler dear, do you mind very much? (She holds out her hand, and the SINGER takes it.) We aren't coming at all. We--we--
SINGER. We are getting married.
FIDDLER (nodding to herself). I thought so.
DAUGHTER. But you will come and stay with us sometimes. Oh, say you will!
SINGER (smiling at FIDDLER with great friendliness). Of course she will.
(The TALKER and the MOTHER are seen coming least the windows.)
FIDDLER. There's Johannes. I expect we shall be starting this afternoon.
[The TALKER and the MOTHER come in arm-in-arm. He bows to her and takes the floor.]
TALKER. Ladies and gentlemen, companions-in-arms, knights and ladies of the road, comrades all,--I have the honour to make an announcement to you. The wandering company of the Red Feathers is determined from this date, likewise disbanded, or, as others would say, dissolved. "What means this, Master Johannes?" I hear you say. "Who has done this thing?" Ladies and gentles all, I answer you that young Cupid has done this thing. With unerring aim he has loosed his arrows. With the same happy arrow (taking the MOTHER'S hand) he has pierced the hearts of this gracious lady and myself, while yonder gallant gentleman I name no names, but the perspicacious will perceive whom I mean--is about to link his life with the charming maiden who stands so modestly by his side. There is one other noble lady present to whom I have not yet referred--
FIDDLER (holding out her hand to the MOTHER). I think I must go. Good-bye, and thank you.
MOTHER (taking her hand and patting it). Wait a moment, dear.
TALKER (continuing his speech)--noble lady to whom I have not yet referred. I will not hide from you the fact that she plays upon the fiddle with an elegance rarely to be heard. It is the earnest wish of (swelling his chest) my future wife and myself that she should take up her abode with us.
FIDDLER. It's very kind of you, but I don't think--
DAUGHTER (coming across). Mother, she's going to stay with us; she promised.
MOTHER. It's sweet of you to ask her, dear, but I think it would be much more suitable that she should live with _us_.
SINGER. We should love to have her, and she could come and see you whenever she liked.
MOTHER. I was going to suggest that she should live with us and come and see _you_ sometimes.
TALKER (who has been thinking deeply). I have it! What say you to this? For six months, making in all twenty-six weeks of the year, she shall live, reside, dwell, or, as one might say, take up her habitation with us; whereas for the other six months--(They have been so busy discussing the future of the FIDDLER that they have not noticed that she is no longer there. Suddenly the sound of the fiddle is heard.) What's that?
[The FIDDLER comes in, wearing her cap now with the red feather in it. She is playing a wild song, a song of the road. She is content again. She goes up the room, and as she passes them she gives them a little bend of the head and the beginnings of a grave smile. She goes out of the door, still playing; she is still playing as she goes past the windows. They follow her with their eyes. When she is gone they still listen until the music dies in the distance.]
HAPPY DAYS
BY A. A. MILNE
NEW YORK GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY
FOREWORD
This book is made up from my contributions to _Punch_--a casual selection from the four hundred or so which have appeared in the last nine years. It is offered to the American public as a sample of that _Punch_ humour (and perhaps, therefore, British humour) which Americans so often profess not to understand. According to whether they like it or do not like it, I hope they will consider it a representative or an unrepresentative sample.
A. A. M.
MARGERY
I. HER SOCK
I
When Margery was three months old I wrote a letter to her mother:
_Dear Madam_,--If you have a copy in Class D at 1/10d. net, I shall be glad to hear from you.
I am, ~The Baby's Uncle~.
On Tuesday I got an answer by the morning post:
_Dear Sir_,--In reply СКАЧАТЬ