The Essential W. Somerset Maugham Collection. W. Somerset Maugham

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ

      'I was merely asking you in a rather well-turned phrase to name the day. The lamb shall be ready for the slaughter.'

      'Is that a proposal of marriage?' she asked gaily.

      'If not it must be its twin brother,' he returned.

      'I'm so glad you've told me, because if I'd met it in the street I should never have recognised it, and I should simply have cut it dead.'

      'You show as little inclination to answer a question as a cabinet minister in the House of Commons.'

      'Couldn't you infuse a little romance into it? You see, I'm American, and I have a certain taste for sentiment in affairs of the heart.'

      'I should be charmed, only you must remember that I have no experience in these matters.'

      'That is visible to the naked eye,' she retorted. 'But I would suggest that it is only decent to go down on your bended knees.'

      'That sounds a perilous feat to perform in a hansom cab, and it would certainly attract an amount of attention from passing bus-drivers which would be embarrassing.'

      'You could never convince me of the sincerity of your passion unless you did something of the kind,' she replied.

      'I assure you that it is quite out of fashion. Lovers now-a-days are much too middle-aged, and their joints are creaky. Besides it ruins the trousers.'

      'I admit your last reason is overwhelming. No nice woman should ask a man to make his trousers baggy at the knees.'

      'How could she love him if they were!' exclaimed Dick.

      'But at all events there can be no excuse for your not saying that you know you are utterly unworthy of me.'

      'Wild horses wouldn't induce me to make a statement which is so remote from the truth,' he replied coolly. 'I did it with my little hatchet.'

      'And of course you must threaten to commit suicide if I don't consent. That is only decent.'

      'Women are such sticklers for routine,' he sighed. 'They have no originality. They have a passion for commonplace, and in moments of emotion they fly with unerring instinct into the flamboyance of melodrama.'

      'I like to hear you use long words. It makes me feel so grown up.'

      'By the way, how old are you?' he asked suddenly.

      'Twenty-nine,' she answered promptly.

      'Nonsense. There is no such age.'

      'Pardon me,' she protested gravely. 'Upper parlour maids are always twenty-nine. But I deplore your tendency to digress.'

      'Am I digressing? I'm so sorry. What were we talking about?'

      Julia giggled. She did not know where the cab was going, and she certainly did not care. She was thoroughly enjoying herself.

      'You were taking advantage of my vast experience in such matters to learn how a man proposes to an eligible widow of great personal attractions.'

      'Your advice can't be very valuable, since you always refused the others.'

      'I didn't indeed,' she replied promptly. 'I made a point of accepting them all.'

      'That at all events is encouraging.'

      'Of course you may do it in your own way if you choose. But I must have a proposal in due form.'

      'My intelligence may be limited, but it seems to me that only four words are needed.' He counted them out deliberately on his fingers. 'Will--you--marry--me?'

      'That is both clear and simple.' She pressed back the thumb which he had left untouched. 'I reply in one: no.'

      He looked at her with every sign of astonishment.

      'I beg your pardon?' he said.

      'You heard quite correctly,' she smiled. 'The reply is in the negative.'

      She resisted a mad, but inconvenient, temptation to dance a breakdown on the floor of the hansom.

      'You're joking,' said Dick calmly. 'You're certainly joking.'

      'I will be a sister to you.'

      Dick reflected for a moment, and he rubbed his chin.

      'The chance will never recur, you know,' he remarked.

      'I will bear the threat that is implied in that with fortitude.'

      He turned round and taking her hand, raised it to his lips.

      'I thank you from the bottom of my heart,' he said earnestly.

      This puzzled her.

      'The man's mad,' she murmured to a constable who stood on the curb as they passed. 'The man's nothing short of a raving lunatic.'

      'It is one of my most cherished convictions that a really nice woman is never so cruel as to marry a man she cares for. You have given me proof of esteem which I promise I will never forget.'

      Mrs. Crowley could not help laughing.

      'You're much too flippant to marry anybody, and you're perfectly odious into the bargain.'

      'I will be a brother to you, Mrs. Crowley.'

      He opened the trap and told the cabman to drive back to Victoria Street, but at Hyde Park Corner he suggested that Mrs. Crowley might drop him so that he could take a stroll in the park. When he got out and closed the doors behind him, Julia leaned forward.

      'Would you like some letters of introduction before you go?' she said.

      'What for?'

      'It is evident that unless your soul is dead to all the finer feelings, you will seek to assuage your sorrow by shooting grizzlies in the Rocky Mountains. I thought a few letters to my friends in New York might be useful to you.'

      'I'm sure that's very considerate of you, but I fancy it's scarcely the proper season. I was thinking of a week in Paris.'

      'Then pray send me a dozen pairs of black sude gloves,' she retorted coolly. 'Sixes.'

      'Is that your last word?' he asked lightly.

      'Yes, why?'

      'I thought you might mean six and a half.'

      He lifted his hat and was gone.

      XIX

      A СКАЧАТЬ