Childish Things. Robin Jenkins

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СКАЧАТЬ was as yet no headstone.

      Or should I boldly enjoy myself? At the Country Club I had been a success on my last visit four years ago. Those good-hearted septuagenarians, every one a duffer at the game, had not been jealous of my prowess as a golfer. On the contrary, they had been proud of it. As for the ladies, especially the blue-haired elderly widows, they had been charmed by my manners and appearance. Kate had been amused, but she had been pleased too. I had flirted, but they had all seen that Kate was the one I loved. They had liked and admired her. ‘Your good wife,’ Mrs Birkenberger had said, for once not being sarcastic.

      A robin came and perched on an adjacent headstone. It eyed me and then it defecated, daintily.

      I heard Kate laughing. ‘That’s what it thinks of you, Gregor.’

      I heard her weeping too. I was in tears myself.

      I had already made not one but several Orphean journeys. I had not yet accepted her loss. I must, if I was not to go mad.

      Would it be humbug for me to say that I ought to enjoy myself in California, not just for my own sake but for Kate’s too, and for all those buried in the graves about me? Surely the dead must want the living to enjoy themselves, even those who had been curmudgeons when alive.

      The robin flew off, with a chirp of goodwill.

      I hadn’t been home half an hour when the telephone rang. It was Helen Sneddon.

      Her voice was sad. ‘Were you out, Gregor? I phoned you half an hour ago.’

      ‘Yes, I was out. I was paying a visit to Kate’s grave.’

      ‘Were you, Gregor?’

      ‘Yes.’

      ‘You won’t have heard about Millie?’

      My heart sank. ‘No. What’s happened?’

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