The Last Family in England. Matt Haig
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Название: The Last Family in England
Автор: Matt Haig
Издательство: Ingram
Жанр: Контркультура
isbn: 9781786893239
isbn:
Within two dog years most Labradors in the country had agreed to remain loyal, come what may, and to continue devoting their entire lives to the happiness and security of their human masters.
And that was how it remained. In every park, in every corner of this country, the old have been teaching the young the ways of the Pact.
Until now.
I must accept the truth for what it is. For better or worse, I have changed everything. Labradors will have to discover for themselves the true horror of what it means to keep Families safe.
pattern
One of the first things Labradors understand about human Families is that they depend on repetition. For a Family to survive, a daily pattern must be established and maintained.
A key part of this pattern was my twice-daily walk to the park with Adam. Every day he went at exactly the same times and did exactly the same things once he got there.
In the morning, he would sit on the bench and talk to Mick. In the evening, he would throw sticks for me to retrieve.
But now this pattern was starting to change. That morning, Adam had hardly spoken to Mick, and the following evening when we got to the park, I noticed that Adam was not in a playful mood. I went over to him with a stick in my mouth but he didn’t even take his hands out of his pockets. This was very strange. As I have explained, he normally gained considerable pleasure from throwing the stick as far and high into the air as he could.
Instead, he stayed rooted to the spot and spent the entire time staring at the new house overlooking the park. To be honest, this was not completely new behaviour. Ever since the builders started work on it, nearly one year earlier, his fascination had grown. At first it was nothing more than an occasional glance, a mild curiosity between throwing a stick. Now, however, it seemed to be a fixation.
While I tried to act unperturbed, jogging casually between flowerbeds, I kept an eye on him, trying my best to work out what was going through his mind. Then it became clearer. Light filled one of the upstairs windows and a shadow passed across the curtain. Someone had moved in.
Having circuited the park I jogged slowly back over to where Adam was standing. I panted heavily to try and catch his attention, but it was only when I pressed my nose gently into his crotch that he slipped out of his trance.
‘No, boy, stop that,’ he said, before he clipped on my lead.
africa
Hal and Charlotte were in their bedrooms when we arrived back home. Kate was downstairs watching the news.
‘We missed that programme,’ she said, as she picked dog hair off the settee. ‘You know, the one we wanted to watch.’
‘Yes,’ said Adam. ‘What programme?’ He was standing in front of her, by the television, and although Kate didn’t notice he had again slipped into a slight trance.
‘The one about that woman, you know, who set up that hospital in Africa.’
‘Oh, yes, right.’ He rubbed his neck, keeping his gaze locked on some indeterminable spot on the settee. And then, from out of nowhere: ‘They’ve sold it.’
‘Sorry?’
‘The house on the park. They’ve sold it.’
It was only the television newsreader who remained genuinely untroubled by Adam’s behaviour now.
‘Uh-huh,’ said Kate, moving her head softly forward as if by doing this she would find the missing link within their conversation.
‘But it’s only been on the market a month and someone’s actually in there now. Living in it.’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘But that’s unbelievable.’
‘Darling, are you OK?’
He wasn’t listening. ‘I saw someone in the upstairs window. They must have moved in today, this morning.’
‘It’s what happens. People buy houses. They move in. It’s hardly a new concept.’
‘Yes, but that house. Have you seen it? It’s like the ugliest construction you’ve ever imagined. It’s got a double garage, for God’s sake.’
‘Well,’ she sighed. ‘It’s lucky we’re not moving in, isn’t it?’
He walked out of the room, taking his coat off as he did so. His voice carried on: ‘But I mean, honestly, would you ever think of moving there?’
‘Adam, why do you always go on about these massive great houses? Jealousy won’t get you anywhere.’
He laughed. ‘Jealousy! Kate, come on. You’d really want to move into a place like that?’
‘We wouldn’t be able to afford it.’
Adam, coatless, arrived back in the room, bringing jealousy-smells with him. ‘I mean hypothetically, if we had the money, if you had all the money in the world would you even think for one second about stepping through the door of that hideous, soulless, excuse for a home?’
‘No,’ she sighed, clearly hoping this was the quickest exit out of the conversation so she could catch the end of the news.
My tail tried to peace-broker the situation. To my satisfaction, Henry’s morning tutorial was a success. Immediately, the atmosphere calmed.
‘There, boy.’ Adam stroked my head, in apparent acknowledgement of my efforts. And then, to Kate: ‘I really wanted to watch that programme.’
‘Yes,’ she said, a soft smile twitching away at the corners of her mouth. ‘So did I.’
Adam sat himself down on the sofa beside her and I felt a warm glow at the portrait I had helped to create. Again, this was a break from the pattern but I couldn’t help but feel it was a welcome one. Adam and Kate, together on the settee, watching the weather forecast. Exhausted yes, but also smelling quietly content.
shoes
Later, Kate was pulling her face up in front of her bedroom mirror. She always did this. When she was on her own. Under the glare of the spot lamp, she’d place the tips of her fingers on her hairless face and stretch the skin up as far as it could go, forcing her eyes to retreat into hiding. Then, after a while, the hands would move up and around to the temples and push back in an attempt to make the creases of her forehead invisible.
She turned, noticed me. ‘Prince, how long have you been there?’
I wagged my response and tried to look sentimental. Kate smiled at me, she was tired, but she smiled. And the smile was beautiful, natural, for my eyes only. No one ever got this Kate smile, not even Adam. Every other smile in her collection was false, a disguise, but this was real.
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