Comedy Writing Self-Taught Workbook. Gene Perret

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      If it’s possible and your associate will cooperate, you may try to save the original captions so that when you’re done, you can compare your work to the original. But that’s a bonus of this lesson.

      Just writing a brilliantly funny caption should be reward enough.

Exercise 4

       Captioning Words

      Now that you’ve had some fun with cartoons, you’re going to teach yourself how to use the captioning technique in writing verbal humor. A cartoon, as we noted, is a drawing with a joke attached to it. A one-liner often is a factual statement with a joke attached to it. It’s a straight line and a punchline. It’s similar to the cartoon structure.

      Consider these lines about presidents that Bob Hope used:

       Harry Truman ruled the country with an iron fist. The same way he played the piano.

       Eisenhower switched hobbies from golf to painting. It was fewer strokes.

       Ronald Reagan is one politician who never lied, cheated, or stole. He always had an agent who did that for him.

      Notice they all start with a factual statement. It’s not funny; it’s simply there. The joke happens when you attach the punchline to it. In effect, you’re putting a caption on a statement.

      For this exercise, that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Find a news item in a paper or a magazine. It can be in any area—politics, sports, entertainment, human interest, a goofy news item, anything. Read through the item and underline or make notes on several factual items. They needn’t be funny; in fact, it’s probably better if they’re not. Remember, many of the drawings in cartoons are not inherently funny.

      Jot down a series of these factual items—somewhere between six and ten of them. They are now your straight lines. Attach a caption, or a punchline, to each of them. It’s not a bad idea to write several alternate punchlines for each.

      By doing this, you’ve converted straight lines to jokes by attaching a punchline.

      It’s a procedure you will use frequently as a professional joke writer.

      Also, once you finish this exercise, you can repeat it often. All you need are different news items or topics.

Exercise 5

       Gathering References

      “References” are an important part of comedy writing. They refer to either your main topic, your punchline, or both. Often they can help create gags by combining ideas that are otherwise seemingly unrelated.

      I’m sure you’ve heard the question “What’s black and white and red all over?” The classic answer is “a newspaper.” This line refers to something that is black and white (a newspaper) and to something that is red. The punchline uses a play on words—“read” for “red.”

      But “a newspaper” is not the only punchline. You can uncover other references. Something “black and white and red all over” could be a wounded nun . . . an embarrassed convict . . . a zebra with diaper rash. Even these are just the tip of the iceberg.

      And that’s what we want you to work on—uncovering more of that iceberg. Come up with fifteen to twenty additional answers to the question “What is black and white and red all over.”

      To begin, make a list of references—anything you can think of that is black and white. Your list may include penguins, Oreo cookies, referees, and so on. Now go back and do the exact same thing for items that are red—sunburn, velvet cake, Lucille Ball’s hair. Keep going with your lists. Get creative. Don’t edit or limit your­self at this point. Get it down on paper. You can always remove or modify later as needed.

      Pull one item from the black and white list—maybe a penguin. Now look over your list of red things. What is on that list that might work in this situation? Hmm . . . a sunburn? Now you have your line. What’s black and white and red all over? A sunburned penguin.

      You may be able to play with the line even more and find a way to imply the red without coming out directly and saying it. Look at the example we gave earlier of the nun. We never mentioned blood. But you came to that conclusion with the word “wounded.”

      Don’t be afraid to push the envelope a bit and get a little zany. Have fun with it. But be warned, it can be addictive. You’ll be thinking of things that are black and white and red all over for a long time, and that’s good. In doing this you’ll be learning and developing one of the fundamentals of comedy writing—finding references.

Exercise 6

       In the News

      Comedy writers need to keep up on what’s happening in the news and what people are talking about. Using current events and references helps to keep our material fresh and on the spot. Newsworthy items can also be a source of topics, and that’s what we are going to work on now.

      Pick up a newspaper or go to a news website and read through it. Find an article that intrigues you. It can be from the front page or sports or entertainment section – in fact, it can be from any area of the newspaper or website. It doesn’t have to be long—just something that catches your attention and would be of interest to others.

      Now read the article thoroughly. It is a good idea to keep the article handy because as we progress with this exercise, you may want to refer back to it. If you are reading the article online, we recommend printing it out. Sometimes when you go back to look it up, the article has been removed. Most likely you can find it again, but it takes time and can be detrimental to the creative process. So plan ahead and keep the article at the ready.

      OK, we strayed a bit so now back to work. When you have a good idea of what the article is about, start asking yourself some questions about it. Questions that prompt a funny response or at least help you to create gags may look like these:

      •Who is affected by this?

      •Who is happy about this?

      •Who is upset about this?

      •What would happen if this happened in a different point in history?

      •Will it affect everyday life?

      •Will it affect my wallet?

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