You Can Be Happy No Matter What. Richard Carlson

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СКАЧАТЬ tries to do it; if he thinks he sees a monster, he runs from it. Regardless of the content of his thoughts, he believes them to be reality, 100 percent of the time.

      On the opposite end of the spectrum is the person who understands the thought process — a person who epitomizes mental health and happiness — a person who doesn’t take his own, or anyone else’s, thoughts too seriously — a person who rarely allows his thinking to bring him down and ruin his day. A person on this side of the scale can have any thought run through his head and still understand that “it’s only a thought.”

      Most of us fall somewhere in between these two extremes. Very few of us take all of our thoughts so seriously as to be considered psychotic. Surprisingly, however, even fewer of us truly understand the nature of thought enough to fall on the far right of the scale. Most of us don’t understand that we are the thinkers of our own thoughts — we do it to ourselves. Perhaps at times we see it, but only selectively. Our minds will create numerous exceptions to this principle, which keeps us from the understanding we need to implement it in our lives. For example, you might be feeling low one day and have the thought, “I’ll never be able to finish this project.” Rather than saying to yourself, “Oh there go my thoughts again,” and putting an end to the negativity right then and there, you might continue on the same train of thought. You’ll say, “I knew it when I started; I never should have tried this project; I’ve never been any good at this kind of work and I never will be,” and so forth. Proper understanding of thought allows us to stop these everyday “thought attacks” before they beat us up. Recognize these types of thoughts as static on the television set — as interference. There is no value in studying and analyzing static on a TV screen, and there is equally little value in studying the static in our own thoughts. Without a proper understanding of thought, the smallest amount of static in our minds can spiral and grow until it ruins an entire day or even a lifetime. Once you see your negative thoughts as static, interference, you can dismiss them — they are no longer serving your needs. In the example, the negative thoughts about your ability to finish a project are certainly not going to help you finish it.

      We all produce a steady stream of thoughts, twenty-four hours a day. Once a thought is forgotten, it’s gone. Once it’s thought of again, it’s back. But in any case, it’s just a thought. In a practical sense, this suggests that to think about something doesn’t mean we must take the thoughts to heart and react in a negative way. Pick and choose which thoughts you wish to react to.

      Most of us are capable of understanding this principle for other people, but not for ourselves. Take the case of a frustrated freeway driver. Another car cuts him off and almost causes an accident. A thought passes through his mind: “I should shoot the driver of that car.” What has occurred is a thought, passing through his mind. Most of us would dismiss it as a silly thought. We would all prefer that drivers be more careful, but we wouldn’t take our violent thought very seriously. A psychotic, however, may not be able to dismiss the thought so easily. He fervently believes that any thought that comes to mind is reality and must be taken seriously.

      While we can empathize (if not laugh) at the folly of taking such a thought seriously, we all do the same thing, in different forms and extremes, hundreds of times each day. Each of us, in our own fashion, confuses our thinking with reality. We can see other people’s thoughts (like the freeway driver’s) as being “just thoughts,” but we almost always fail to see our own the same way. And why do our thoughts seem so real? Because we are the one who creates them.

      We Don’t Always Have To Take Our Thoughts Seriously

      For one person, the thought, “I wonder if she likes me, I’ll bet she doesn’t,” might cause distress. Yet this same person may recognize the freeway driver as “just having a thought.” Most of us believe that if we have a thought, it’s worthy of serious attention and concern, but if someone else thinks something, we might see it as just a thought not worthy of attention. Why is this so? Again, because thought is something that shapes our reality from the inside out. Because it is so close to us, it’s easy to forget that we are the ones doing it. Thought helps us make sense out of what we see — we need it to survive in the world and to put meaning into life. When we understand the true nature and purpose of thought, however, we don’t need to take to heart (or take so seriously) everything we happen to think about; we can lighten up.

      Our thinking is not “reality,” but only an attempt to interpret a given situation. Our interpretation of what we see creates an emotional response. Our emotional responses are not the product of what happens to us, then, but are derived from our thinking, our belief system.

      To illustrate, let’s use the example of the circus coming to town. For people and families who love the circus, this is great cause for celebration. For those who don’t love the circus, the increased traffic and confusion causes concern. The circus itself is neutral — it isn’t the cause of positive or negative reactions. We can think of many similar examples ourselves. Once we understand the concept, our thoughts can be a tremendous gift to us and help us with our lives. Conversely, we can become the victims of our own thinking, and the quality of our lives can diminish. Since our thoughts change from moment to moment, life can become a struggle, if not a battleground.

      Our level of happiness seems to go up and down with our circumstances. In reality, it isn’t the circumstances, but our interpretation of them that determines our level of wellbeing. This is why identical circumstances can mean different things to different people. Learn to see negative thoughts as a form of mental static, and you can stop paying so much attention to them.

      Laura And Steve

      Laura is driving to visit her boyfriend, Steve. Along the way she hears news on the radio about the number of marriages that end in divorce. She begins to think: “I wonder if Steve and I will get married. I wonder if it’s worth it. How good would our marriage be? Steve has many of his divorced father’s characteristics. He’s often late and he tends to work too hard. I wonder if I’m as important to him as his work. I wonder if our children would be as important as his work.” And she continues brooding.

      Laura’s thinking has gone on automatically. These thoughts took place in an instant. Let’s compare the effect of these thoughts based on her relationship to her own thinking. First, let’s assume that Laura (like most people) believes that if something crosses her mind, it must be worthy of attention and taken seriously. She has no real awareness that she is creating the thoughts, but assumes that the content of her thinking must have relevance. She now feels justifiably concerned about her relationship and decides to bring up the issue with Steve. The remainder of her drive is spent worrying.

      Now let’s consider an alternative. Here, Laura understands how her thoughts create her experience of life. The identical thoughts pass through Laura’s mind, and for a moment, she begins to feel the adverse effects of her thinking. Then she remembers that it was her thoughts, not Steve, that had her concerned about their relationship, which until that moment was perfectly fine. A few seconds earlier, before the news report, she had been reflecting about how well everything seemed to be going — she was in that nice feeling state where she was just thinking her thoughts, not analyzing them. She chuckles and feels grateful that she no longer has to be victimized by her own thinking. She initiates a softer focus and dismisses her thoughts. She spends the drive enjoying her favorite music and her happiness.

      Having The Option To Act On Our Thoughts

      Most of us assume that if something comes to mind, it does so for a reason; it must be representative of reality, worthy

      of our attention, and dealt with. If we understand the principle of thought, however, we know that this is a mental error. If something comes to mind, recognize it for what it is — a passing thought. This doesn’t mean that we can’t or shouldn’t consider or act on the thought, but it does provide the option. Thousands of thoughts pass through our minds each day; as the СКАЧАТЬ