Advice That Sticks. Moira Somers

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      Evidently, I’m not alone in finding it comforting to have someone to blame. I have had many couples report to me that they hired a financial expert because they did not want to deal with the other’s wrath if something went wrong in their family business or retirement planning. There is some research support for this notion. In a 2016 study, researchers confirmed that some people ‘delegate primarily to cede responsibility and blame’ rather than for the more logical reason of benefitting from wise counsel.¹¹ Just imagine the marketing fun you could have with that one!

      To feel safer

      Seen from a different perspective, having someone else to blame if things go wrong could be construed as a darkly funny variant of trusting in someone’s expertise to keep you safe. Of course, feeling safer goes way beyond the blame phenomenon. People consult with experts because they want to experience that calm, settled state that I highlighted at the beginning of this chapter.

      In his book Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade, social psychologist Robert Cialdini discusses the influential effects of experts on decision-making. When people are unsure of what to do or how to think, the existence of someone with presumed legitimacy or expertise seems to invite people to behave like cyclists on the Tour de France: They tuck in and draft behind someone they trust.

      Functional neuroimaging studies allow scientists to see what happens to brain activity as people are put through a variety of cognitive tasks. Evidence shows that the presence of an expert can change the very way our brains process information – or, indeed, cease to process information. In one study¹² that journalist Jason Zweig has dubbed ‘Your Brain on Investment Advice’, participants were tasked with making difficult financial decisions either on their own or with some input from an identified expert. When left unassisted to decide on the relative merits of a given option, subjects showed increased activity in the areas of the brain involved in weighing options and opinions. That was an entirely unremarkable finding. That’s what was expected of brains working hard to reach a decision. But that all changed when subjects were offered access to the advice of someone identified as an expert economist. Under that condition, structures involved in active decision-making seemed to go into hibernation. The brains of people under conditions of expert economic advice looked a lot like the brains of people at prayer: trusting; non-critical; safe.

      These findings should make you blanch, at least a little. Clients put a lot of faith in your presumed expertise. While that is generally a good thing, it can be a dangerous thing, too. This goes well beyond the obvious Don’t be a Bernie Madoff injunction. The ‘tuck and draft’ model can offer a convenient excuse for continued ignorance among financially avoidant clients who want to remain that way. It has fiduciary implications for you, the advisor: How do you get truly informed consent from clients who trust you implicitly and who would happily sign any piece of paper you give to them, regardless of whether they understand its contents? Advice-giving under such circumstances requires advisors to be extra-scrupulous about understanding their client’s hopes and concerns, surpassing the rather perfunctory and unhelpful ‘Know Your Client’ protocols required by many companies. Doing your due diligence in this regard serves to enhance safety at all levels, for both you and the client.

      What gets in the way of these aims?

      The preceding pages summarize the chief aims behind asking for advice and the most powerful advantages of receiving it. Sometimes, of course, people may not know what their true motivation is for reaching out. They may say that they want expert input when what they really want is external confirmation. They may say that they’re looking for more information when what they really crave is more discernment. There can be a further disconnect between what the client is asking for and what the advisor is attempting to address. Such discrepancies or mismatches can contribute to good advice being ignored.

      A further problem with respect to advice-seeking involves the advice-giver moving too quickly into offering solutions. A justifiable confidence in their capability can lead seasoned and rookie professionals alike to launch prematurely into offering solutions, before they’ve fully ascertained the client’s reasons for reaching out. This is a major turn-off, and a chief contributor to non-adherence.

      A related problem is the tendency of some professionals to dominate the discussion, especially during that all-important first meeting. Out of a desire to impress or instill confidence or seal the deal, financial professionals talk about their ‘process’, their superiority over their competitors, their array of offerings … you get the picture. But clients rarely give a rat’s patootie about our process. They just want to know they’re in good hands with us. And the best way for that to happen is for us to spend time finding out why they’ve come to see us.

      If you want to create engaged, satisfied clients, it is crucial that you signal your willingness to meet their needs right from the outset of your involvement. You do this by determining what the client (or potential client) wants to experience or achieve as a result of meeting with you. It is vital that you ask what that desired experience or goal is, every time you meet, even if you’re pretty certain you already know the answer. Here’s why asking is important:

      It’s courteous.

      It encourages efficient use of meeting time. (Remember that these questions were initially developed for health care practitioners. If neurosurgeons are convinced of the ultimate time savings these kinds of questions confer, you, too, can trust that they will offer efficiencies for you.)

      It zeroes in on the issues of primary concern to the client, thus signalling your commitment to being a Thinking Partner.

      It facilitates the emergence of concerns that clients might otherwise be reluctant to bring forward.

      When working with couples, it helps ensure you meet the needs of both parties.

      Summary

      The fundamental reason that people seek advice in any domain of life is because they want help in solving a problem. They are experiencing some level of uncertainty or reluctance at the prospect of dealing with the problem on their own. Even when a given problem seems entirely cerebral or purely factual in terms of its content and/or its solution, there is always an emotional aspect to advice-seeking. That’s because uncertainty causes a certain degree of discomfort or suffering, ranging from the miniscule to the alarming. When that cognitive uncertainty is resolved, that internal tension is eased and emotional settling occurs.

      People seek advice to solve a problem, so that they can feel more settled as a result. The more you can contribute to this settling, the more trusted and valuable an advisor you will be to them.

      Adherence Boosters

      1. Make a point of establishing a clear agenda at the outset of every meeting. Ask:

      What would make our time together today the best use of your time, energy and money?

      What are you hoping will happen as a result of our meeting?

      2. Sometimes the answers will seem self-evident by virtue of the service you provide. A tax preparer, for example, can be reasonably sure that most clients would just like their taxes done. If this is the case for you, then modify the questions as you see fit, but do make a point both of determining the objectives and of ensuring you have met them. For example:

      Aside from the obvious, is there anything else that brings you here today?

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