Restoring Trust. Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D., SATP-C

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СКАЧАТЬ rooms. Eventually this can lead to engaging in cybersex (acting out sexually with other people online), often with the use of webcams. This can be especially dangerous for women. Studies have shown women are more willing to meet the men they have met online in person.²⁵ So a woman may think she is having a romantic rendezvous at a local hotel with a great guy she met online, only to find he is nothing like he described himself. He may even be a serial murderer or rapist.

      The growing tolerance is actually caused by physical changes in the brain, which come about due to the tremendous amounts of dopamine released when viewing pornography. The brain eventually fatigues and becomes less responsive to the dopamine. Delta-FosB desensitizes neurons to dopamine, yet it overstimulates the pleasure center of the brain (nucleus accumbens), causing it to crave more. Dopamine also instills strong memories of the pleasurable response to pornography, so when sexual craving arises, the brain knows exactly what to do: go back to viewing pornography. Because of these processes, more dopamine is needed to achieve the same pleasurable feelings. Thus, more pornography is needed, as well as stronger forms of it.²⁶

      Another change in the brain that affects pornography use is hypofrontality. The frontal lobes of the brain, also known as the prefrontal cortex, are responsible for executive functioning. They allow us to think rationally and make informed decisions about what is and is not healthy for us. Studies have shown that those who are addicted to sex exhibit a decrease (shrinkage) in the size of the frontal lobes. With the frontal lobes compromised, when the temptation to view pornography emerges, the addicted person may not have the willpower to resist it. The craving for dopamine and sexual release may then be too strong for the person to resist, and he or she will succumb to viewing pornography and masturbating.

      In addition to tolerance, a dependence also develops. The brain becomes so accustomed to operating at such an abnormally high level of chemical stimulation that it must maintain that level just to function. At this point dopamine and iFos-B draw men and women back to pornography over and over again. In addition to the dopamine crash, some people may even experience withdrawal symptoms such as depression, anxiety, irritability, and insomnia if they don’t get a regular “fix.” Now the person is physically addicted to the effects of pornography.

      This is the disease of addiction. As you can see, pornography use can actually “hijack” the brain, leaving a person unable to resist the temptation to use pornography. This is common with other addictive substances as well, such as alcohol, drugs, and gambling. Fortunately, those in successful recovery can experience a full restoration of the frontal lobes to their normal size, and their willpower can increase. While it can take up to eighteen months for dopamine receptors to heal, an addicted person can return to normal, healthy brain functioning.²⁷

       The Emotional Addiction

      Beyond the physical addiction to pornography, many men and women become emotionally addicted to it. Most men are introduced to pornography during their childhood or early adolescent years, and the current average age of exposure to hardcore internet pornography is eight.²⁸ Most women are introduced to pornography by accident or search for it out of curiosity. For both men and women, the physical effects of porn can be experienced immediately. Over time, however, many also discover that pornography can be used to escape negative emotions. Those who use porn this way often struggle with many deep emotional wounds. It’s as if a little voice deep down inside says, “Hey, porn is an excellent escape! It makes us forget all our troubles. Let’s go back to it!” Because the effects of pornography are temporary, those who use it to self-medicate will need to return to it over and over again to keep their emotional pain at bay. Their repeated use of pornography leads them to become emotionally dependent on it.

      Most men and women are unaware that they use pornography to cope with deep emotional pain. Many have carried their wounds for so long they don’t even recognize them anymore. All they know is that they enjoy viewing pornography regularly. This attitude is reinforced by our society, which has normalized porn. Yet by using pornography to self-medicate their wounds, many people have become emotionally addicted to it, and they don’t realize it.

      Typical wounds men and women use pornography to self-medicate include:

      1. Early exposure to pornography

      2. Excessive exposure to pornography

      3. Narcissism/selfishness

      4. Family-of-origin wounds

      a) Abuse (physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual)

      b) Death of close loved one(s)

      c) Divorce of parents

      d) Rejection/abandonment/neglect

      e) Excessive time in daycare

      f) Family history of addiction

      g) Family history of mental illness

      h) Authority rape

      5. Shame

      6. Peer rejection

      a) In childhood

      b) In adolescence

      7. Sexual abuse/rape

      8. Loneliness

      9. Insecurity

      10. Poor body image

      11. Anger

      12. Grief

      13. Sadness

      14. Perfectionism

      15. Mistrust of the opposite sex

      16. Excessive pressures in life

      a) Work

      b) Family

      c) Financial

      17. Weak spiritual life

      You’ll notice that the first wound listed above is early exposure to pornography. This is traumatic for children because it destroys their innocence. It introduces them to a world for which they are not ready or prepared. Their brains have not developed to the point where they can truly understand what is going on in pornography. The excitement and shame they experience are confusing. Most are unable to talk about their experience with trusted adults because of their shame. They may repeatedly go back to viewing pornography because of the excitement it brings, yet also struggle with deep shame because of it. As young adolescents, they can easily become addicted to pornography. The deep trauma this causes is a real wound for many in our society.

      The emotional and physical sides of addiction work together to perpetuate the cycle. People who are addicted to pornography return to it regularly to keep emotional pain at bay, and this reinforces the physical side of the addiction, allowing it to take hold. So, men and women become physically and emotionally addicted to pornography, making it even harder to break free from it.

      Reflection

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