A Tramp Abroad - The Original Classic Edition. Twain Mark

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СКАЧАТЬ style="font-size:15px;">       He now sank into a sort of stupor of reflection, which lasted some minutes; after which he broke silence with:

       "The hour--what is the hour fixed for the collision?"

       "Dawn, tomorrow."

       He seemed greatly surprised, and immediately said:

       "Insanity! I never heard of such a thing. Nobody is abroad at such an hour."

       "That is the reason I named it. Do you mean to say you want an audience?"

       "It is no time to bandy words. I am astonished that M. Fourtou should ever have agreed to so strange an innovation. Go at once and require a later hour."

       I ran downstairs, threw open the front door, and almost plunged into the

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       arms of M. Fourtou's second. He said:

       "I have the honor to say that my principal strenuously objects to the hour chosen, and begs you will consent to change it to half past nine."

       "Any courtesy, sir, which it is in our power to extend is at the service

       of your excellent principal. We agree to the proposed change of time."

       "I beg you to accept the thanks of my client." Then he turned to a person behind him, and said, "You hear, M. Noir, the hour is altered to

       half past nine." Whereupon M. Noir bowed, expressed his thanks, and went

       away. My accomplice continued:

       "If agreeable to you, your chief surgeons and ours shall proceed to the

       field in the same carriage as is customary."

       "It is entirely agreeable to me, and I am obliged to you for mentioning the surgeons, for I am afraid I should not have thought of them. How many shall I want? I supposed two or three will be enough?"

       "Two is the customary number for each party. I refer to 'chief ' surgeons; but considering the exalted positions occupied by our clients, it will be well and decorous that each of us appoint several consulting surgeons, from among the highest in the profession. These will come in their own private carriages. Have you engaged a hearse?"

       "Bless my stupidity, I never thought of it! I will attend to it right

       away. I must seem very ignorant to you; but you must try to overlook

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       that, because I have never had any experience of such a swell duel as this before. I have had a good deal to do with duels on the Pacific coast, but I see now that they were crude affairs. A hearse--sho! we

       used to leave the elected lying around loose, and let anybody cord

       them up and cart them off that wanted to. Have you anything further to suggest?"

       "Nothing, except that the head undertakers shall ride together, as is usual. The subordinates and mutes will go on foot, as is also usual. I will see you at eight o'clock in the morning, and we will then arrange the order of the procession. I have the honor to bid you a good day."

       I returned to my client, who said, "Very well; at what hour is the engagement to begin?"

       "Half past nine."

       "Very good indeed. Have you sent the fact to the newspapers?"

       "SIR! If after our long and intimate friendship you can for a moment deem me capable of so base a treachery--"

       "Tut, tut! What words are these, my dear friend? Have I wounded you? Ah, forgive me; I am overloading you with labor. Therefore go on with the other details, and drop this one from your list. The bloody-minded

       Fourtou will be sure to attend to it. Or I myself--yes, to make certain, I will drop a note to my journalistic friend, M. Noir--"

       "Oh, come to think of it, you may save yourself the trouble; that other

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       second has informed M. Noir."

       "H'm! I might have known it. It is just like that Fourtou, who always wants to make a display."

       At half past nine in the morning the procession approached the field of

       Plessis-Piquet in the following order: first came our carriage--nobody

       in it but M. Gambetta and myself; then a carriage containing M. Fourtou and his second; then a carriage containing two poet-orators who did not believe in God, and these had MS. funeral orations projecting from their breast pockets; then a carriage containing the head surgeons and their cases of instruments; then eight private carriages containing consulting surgeons; then a hack containing a coroner; then the two hearses; then a carriage containing the head undertakers; then a train of assistants

       and mutes on foot; and after these came plodding through the fog a long procession of camp followers, police, and citizens generally. It was a

       noble turnout, and would have made a fine display if we had had thinner

       weather.

       There was no conversation. I spoke several times to my principal, but

       I judge he was not aware of it, for he always referred to his notebook and muttered absently, "I die that France might live."

       Arrived on the field, my fellow-second and I paced off the thirty-five

       yards, and then drew lots for choice of position. This latter was but

       an ornamental ceremony, for all the choices were alike in such weather. These preliminaries being ended, I went to my principal and asked him if he was ready. He spread himself out to his full width, and said in a

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       stern voice, "Ready! Let the batteries be charged."

       The loading process was done in the presence of duly constituted witnesses. We considered it best to perform this delicate service with the assistance of a lantern, on account of the state of the weather. We now placed our men.

       At this point the police noticed that the public had massed themselves together on the right and left of the field; they therefore begged a delay, while they should put these poor people in a place of safety.

       The request was granted.

       The police having ordered the two multitudes to take positions behind the duelists, we were once more ready. The weather growing still more opaque, it was agreed between myself and the other second that before giving the fatal signal we should each deliver a loud whoop to enable

       the combatants to ascertain each other's whereabouts.

       I now returned to my principal, and was distressed to observe that he had lost a good deal of his spirit. I tried my best to hearten him. I said, "Indeed, sir, things are not as bad as they seem. Considering

       the character of the weapons, the limited number of shots allowed, the generous distance, the impenetrable solidity of the fog, and the added

       fact that one of the combatants is one-eyed and the СКАЧАТЬ