Dan Sharp Mysteries 2-Book Bundle. Jeffrey Round

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      The dog’s ears went down; the tail came to a standstill.

      “He’s afraid of you,” Ked said.

      “He’d better be.”

      Ked knelt and stroked the dog’s silky ears. He pointed at the spot he’d just cleaned and looked at the dog. “Did you do that?” The dog’s ears went back down; he looked away. “That’s a bad boy,” Ked said gently.

      The dog whimpered.

      “He says he’s sorry,” Ked said.

      “Right. Next time he can clean it up, if he’s so sorry.”

      Ked looked at the dog. “Did you hear that, dude? You better behave or Dad’ll put us both out on the streets.”

      The dog’s tail thumped enthusiastically.

      “You have to learn to speak his language, Dad. Watch his eyes.” Ked turned to the dog and opened his arms. “What do you want, Ralph? Show me!”

      The dog turned its gaze to the French windows at the rear of the house.

      “You want out?” Ked said.

      Ralph bounded to the back exit and stood waiting. Ked unlatched the door and the dog tore outside.

      “You have to ask him what he wants,” Ked said. “He tells you with his eyes. If he looks at the treat cupboard, he wants a reward. If he looks at the fridge, he probably wants whatever you just had to eat. If he looks at his leash, he needs a walk.”

      “Don’t tell me he speaks English.”

      Ked looked at his father sympathetically, as though he might be just a bit slow. “No, but he can understand what you’re saying. You have to learn his language, too.”

      Dan nodded. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

      “Hey, Dad! I got a new book today.”

      Ked retrieved a paperback from his knapsack and tossed it on the counter. Dan glanced at a woman’s pensive face framed by dark bangs, her cigarette upraised and smoke curling artistically overhead. Harrison Ford’s sweaty likeness menaced a library barcode with a hefty handgun. Across the top in red letters: Blade Runner.

      “It’s really cool. It’s about this guy who lives in LA after it’s been totally destroyed and hunts androids for a living,” Ked said. “The only problem is, they look and act exactly like humans, so it’s hard to tell who’s an android and who’s a real person.”

      Dan grunted.

      “You know it?”

      “I know it,” Dan said. “Only in my day it was called Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep.”

      “Yeah — I think that was before the movie, though.”

      “In the old days.”

      “Right. Anyway, I think I’m going to like this one.”

      The answering machine blinked red on the side table. Dan regarded it, appraising what it might hold. He pressed play. A cool voice emerged, the tones submerged beneath a wall of self-assurance.

      “Hello, Daniel,” said the voice. “It’s Bill....”

      “Speaking of androids,” Ked said quietly.

      “He’s cancelling,” Dan declared, shaking his head. “I knew he would.”

      “… I wanted to give you a heads-up. Something’s come up at the hospital and I can’t make it tonight. You and Ked have a good time without me....”

      “We will, you dick-head.” Dan reached out and cut the message off.

      “Why do you date him?” Ked asked. “He treats you like shit.”

      Dan raised a warning finger. “I can say that — you can’t.”

      Ked rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying ...”

      Dan pressed play again. A second voice began. “Hey, Sis — how are things?”

      “Does ‘Sis’ mean sister or sissy?” Ked said.

      “Both.”

      “Hey, Ked,” the voice continued. “Happy birthday, dude.”

      “Cool! He remembered.”

      “Danny, I forgot to ask if we’re having burgers or chicken for supper. I don’t know whether to bring white cream soda or red....”

      Dan smiled.

      “… so maybe I’ll bring both. See you tonight!” The message clicked off.

      Ked looked up at his father. “Is ‘sissy’ a bad word?”

      “Depends who’s saying it.”

      Ked pondered this. “Did you and Uncle Donny ever date? I know he talks about what you look like nude....”

      Dan raised a hand. “Don’t believe everything he says!”

      “… but I wasn’t sure if you ever dated him.”

      “We dated. It was a very long time ago.”

      “But was it more than sex?” Ked persisted.

      The topic of his father’s sexuality had never been off-limits, but of late Ked had become more curious about Dan’s private life.

      Dan thought this over. “I guess it was, though we may not have realized it at the time. Maybe that’s why we’re still friends.”

      “Then why don’t you still date him? Is it because he’s black?”

      Dan shot Ked a look. “You know it’s not. Your Uncle Donny just likes to date a lot of men at once....”

      “He’s a slut!” Ked crowed.

      Dan eyed his son. “Ked — don’t talk like that.”

      “Why? That’s what Uncle Donny says about himself.”

      “Nevertheless.”

      “And you like to date just one guy at a time, right?”

      “Something like that.”

      Ked thought this over. “Do you think you and Bill will ever get married? I mean, for real married, like in a church and everything.”

      Dan reached over and tugged his son’s dark curls. “Why? Do you want to be my best man?”

      Ked shrugged. “I would if you wanted me to.”

      “I’ll let you know СКАЧАТЬ