The Bad Wife Handbook. Rachel Zucker

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      up, out of the sentry box over the parapet, bastion, rampart, breastwork

      [don’t think “I have left them…”]

      draw and look, lift—erase, draw and lift and lift and lift

      an erasable slate

      the velum top sheet takes away

      [“left them”]

      up, over the country

      the edge of coast and further out the clouds like stones in deep waters

      a river delving the lush green

      marsh an amorphous rum babba, soaked and spongy

      grasses and cattails misstate the surface

      the cabin has the sharp inhale of opening a gift

      Ø

      high ceiling (blue) and pink and gray striped walls shape me

      make a naked Alice in the bath

      big and tiny

      here and far away

      a wonder the body fits

      so mythic is the mother-absentia

      tundra of abandon

      I suffer the gift, silence,

      for once, nothing happening

      none using my name to mean anything

      Ø

      bed as wide as it is long

      the night inhuman calm

      the outlets and picture frames and decorative plates are safe

      the bathtub and mirror and doors and linens

      I am as light as negligee

      have not my army’s entourage

      Ø

      on Sunday I will step back into the living room littered with toys

      the two boys happy/shy/mad to see me

      but like I dawdled in the shower

      like I never was anywhere but ready to answer

       where is my?

       can’t find the…

      look here, the light through the sycamores and dense magnolias

      live oaks tasked with spanish moss

      a veranda you reach through a twelve-foot window