Pulpy and Midge. Jessica Westhead

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СКАЧАТЬ Al’s smile widened. ‘I’m going to miss all of you, very much.’

      There were a few scattered ‘Awws,’ and then Al had to raise his voice as the room burst into applause. ‘But business and spending are still the reality at this office, and now with Dan here at the helm there’s no telling how far you’ll go!’

      ‘We’re going to pick up where you left off, Al, that’s what we’re going to do!’ Dan stepped over and put an arm around Al’s shoulders, and the room fell silent. ‘Hello, everyone, I’m Dan. And let me be the first to reassure you all that although I may be new in town, I am certainly not new as far as knowing what my responsibilities are, and where they lie.’

      ‘Psst, Pulpy, over here.’

      Pulpy turned his head, and Roy from Customer Service handed him a piece of cake on a small paper plate. Pulpy mouthed ‘Thank you’ and took it before he realized that the usual time for cake cutting and distributing was after the speeches, and that Roy probably wasn’t supposed to be doing this now.

      ‘I also like to help,’ said Dan. ‘I did a lot of helping at my previous job, and as a result I made some really good friends there and we still communicate. Workplace camaraderie is key. It’s key to everything.’

      Pulpy’s piece of cake appeared to be chocolate with some type of nuts in it. He’d gotten the exclamation mark on his frosting.

      Roy was handing out forks now. Pulpy debated accepting his.

      ‘I used to work in a building that had mirrored glass. Mirrored glass, and a lot of floors. And windows everywhere.’ Dan was alone at the podium now – Al had moved away.

      ‘Pulpy?’ said Roy.

      ‘Oh,’ Pulpy whispered. ‘Thanks.’ He took the fork.

      ‘I would look out those windows and think, “There’s a whole world out there.” And then I’d think, “Hey, there’s a whole world in here.” And that is what we’re all about.’

      All around him, Pulpy’s co-workers were eating. He speared a hunk of cake and brought it to his lips.

      ‘Just a side note – I’m sure you’ve all seen the refreshments on the back table,’ said Dan, and Pulpy raised a hand to cover his bulging cheeks. ‘There will be cake, and drinks, and doughnuts, after we’re done up here. But first I’d like to say a little something about teamwork and mutual respect.’

      Pulpy ducked behind the crowd to finish chewing.

      Dan’s speech went on for another half-hour, and when it was over Pulpy headed for the men’s room. On his way there he passed the receptionist at her desk, stapling.

      ‘Why aren’t you in the boardroom?’ he asked her. ‘There’s cake.’

      ‘Hold on,’ she said. ‘I’m collating here.’

      He waited while she stapled two sets of papers together, and then she looked up at him. ‘I wasn’t invited. That was my first introduction to the new boss. “Hi, I’m Dan, your new supervisor. Oh, and by the way, we need you to cover the desk during the retirement function.” Yeah, thanks. Plus I’m supposed to know when they’re doing a cake, because I always pick them out. What kind is it? Is there any filling?’

      ‘It’s a chocolate one,’ he said. ‘I think it has hazelnuts in it.’

      ‘Nuts aren’t a filling.’

      ‘Well, they’re inside somewhere. I heard.’

      ‘A filling is like cream. Or jelly. Is there jelly?’

      Pulpy shook his head. ‘No one said anything about jelly.’

      The receptionist frowned. ‘I’m supposed to know when they do a cake.’

      ‘I’m sure it was some kind of oversight.’

      ‘Yeah.’ The receptionist resumed her stapling. ‘I’m sure it was.’

      Pulpy nodded and hurried down the hall, his tongue digging at a bit of hazelnut in one of his molars.

      ‘Pulpy, this is my wife, Beatrice,’ said Dan at the party that followed the speeches. The party was also in the boardroom, except there were balloons now.

      ‘Hi, Beatrice.’ Pulpy shook Dan’s wife’s hand and her long fingernails jabbed into his palm. She was wearing a sleeveless top covered in buckles that seemed to have no practical purpose.

      ‘Hi … Pulpy?’ Beatrice had dark, chin-length hair that was mostly straight, with a few strands jutting out in various directions. The effect unsettled him.

      ‘It’s a nickname,’ said Dan. ‘Isn’t it great?’

      ‘What does it mean?’ she said, and at the same time she looked Pulpy up and down, starting at his feet.

      Pulpy’s hands flattened out and he pressed them to his sides. No one had ever looked him up and down like that before. ‘It’s to do with orange juice.’

      ‘Ah.’ Beatrice nodded, still looking.

      ‘How’d you like my speech, Pulpy?’ said Dan.

      ‘Oh, fine. It was a fine speech.’

      ‘People were already eating the cake, can you believe that? They’d eaten half of it before Al walked over with the special knife.’ Dan frowned. ‘I said they’d get cake. I said they’d get it at the end.’

      ‘It was a delicious cake,’ said Pulpy. ‘I heard.’

      ‘Beatrice picked it out. She knows how to pick a winner, ha!’

      Beatrice rolled her eyes. She pointed her doughnut at Pulpy. ‘These are really good. Dan says you brought them?’

      ‘Oh, well, it’s nothing. They’re just doughnuts.’

      ‘Mmm. Well, they are yummy.’ She licked some powdered sugar off her bottom lip and popped the last bite into her mouth.

      Pulpy’s eyes widened a little and he quickly turned to admire the shiny red ‘You Made It!!’ balloons taped up in the corners of the boardroom. Then he took a deep breath and looked back at Dan. ‘I don’t think the receptionist got an invitation to this.’

      ‘That’s the way it goes,’ said Dan. ‘Somebody has to cover the desk.’

      ‘Maybe she didn’t want to come,’ said Beatrice.

      ‘But she should’ve been invited,’ said Pulpy.

      ‘Must’ve been an oversight.’ Dan shrugged. ‘I told you I’m bringing Beatrice in, didn’t I?’

      ‘We’ll get things sorted out,’ said Beatrice.

      ‘We’re doing an overhaul,’ said Dan. ‘I like the way that sounds.’

      Pulpy СКАЧАТЬ