Mirror, Mirror at 1600 D.C.. Edward Galluzzi

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СКАЧАТЬ interrupted by Harrison, “Ah, but he wants to meet you as my betrothed, not as a journalist. He worries that there won’t be anybody around to take care of me after his death.” This was more than acceptable to Hannah in light of having the honor to meet this great, holy man of God.

      Having reached a pleasant compromise, Hannah and Harrison left the train station. He hailed a cab and requested that the driver take them to his suite at the Fontana Spruzza hotel. “Si,” replied the driver. However, before he drove off, Hannah interjected, “No, honey. I want to so some shopping before we go to the hotel.” Harrison nodded and requested that the driver go instead to the Piazza de Spagna.

      The cab sped away from the station. The Piazza de Spagna is the heart of Rome’s most fashionable shopping area. Everyone, because of the Spanish steps ascending grandly from the Piazza, recognizes it. It was a sunny day in Rome making the drive a pleasant one for the senses. “Now what do you need to shop for, my dear?” asked Harrison. “Oh, you know, wedding stuff,” was her general reply. Harrison continued, “Remember, we have reservations for dinner at the Commedia Bastona this evening. The Italian-American comedian Monk Melloni is on stage tonight. He was a former priest and now a comedian—go figure!” “What is it with you and these priests?” Hannah joked. “They’re my guardian angels,” was Harrison’s childlike reply.

      The cab arrived at the Piazza de Spagna. Hannah and Harrison stepped out of the cab and found themselves at the bottom of the Spanish steps leading to the Piazza. There were a number of native residents and tourists perched on the steps watching street musicians, vendors and other sightseers. The multitude of young lovers did not escape Harrison’s eye as he mumbled to himself and thought, “Amore!” “Watch it, lover boy! You belong to me,” cautioned Hannah. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Harrison replied judiciously.

      Hannah and Harrison window-shopped for a good part of the afternoon at the fashionable boutiques. They blended in the surroundings much like the natives of Rome which was aided by Harrison’s command of the Italian language. Harrison did not question Hannah’s purchases or the lire that flowed out of his pocket much like the water out of Rome’s fountains. Money was not an issue for this special occasion.

      Much to Harrison’s satisfaction, Hannah finally completed her shopping. The couple hailed a cab and headed for the Fontana Spruzza hotel. The trip to the hotel was a short one. Harrison paid and tipped the driver. He gathered Hannah’s purchases, no mere feat for the human male, and followed her into the lobby of the hotel. Harrison set down the packages and walked up to the clerk. He asked for the keys to room 1310. “Certainly, Mr. Rossetti” was the clerk’s reply. A porter gathered the purchases and the couple took the elevator to the 13th floor. Hannah remarked, “I guess you are not particularly superstitious,” as she walked out of the elevator. Harrison smiled at Hannah, but did not counter with a response.

      The porter opened the door and the couple entered the room. Hannah nodded her approval of Harrison’s choice of suites. The porter secured the packages and left the room after receiving a generous tip from Harrison. He brought his fiancée’s packages and suitcases into the bedroom and placed them on the king size bed. Hannah began sorting her belongings and purchases, placing them in their proper place.

      Hannah turned to Harrison and asked, “What time tomorrow morning are we scheduled to see the Pontiff?” “Well, if nothing out of the ordinary occurs, at eleven o’clock,” was his tempered reply. Harrison continued, “We have about an hour to freshen up before dinner.” Hannah walked over to Harrison and kissed him passionately as she embraced him. She said seductively, “We may need more than an hour…” The two lovers floated onto the bed as Harrison muttered, “Indeed.”

      Harrison and Hannah arrived at the Commedia Bastona about an hour late for their reservation. They had sufficient time for a light meal before the comedian, Monk Melloni, was scheduled to come on stage. Hannah and Harrison finished their wine and meal just as the lights lowered. They ordered espresso as Joseph walked on stage.

      “Buona sera e benvenuto a bella Roma!” Harrison translated for Hannah, as needed: “Good evening and welcome to beautiful Rome. My name is Monk Melloni. I’m a native of Perguia, but spent many of my early years growing up in America. I’m also single. In fact, I’ve been single for quite awhile. I know this because I use to dream about women. Then I began dreaming about women eating food. Now, I just dream about food!” Monk paused as the crowd laughed and applauded.

      “For those of you who haven’t guessed, I’m Italian. We Italian men tend to be excessive in what we do. When we’re dating, we send lots of flowers; we hug and kiss a lot; we pinch a lot; we pinch a lot; we pinch a lot…” repeated Monk as he made a pinching motion with his fingers on his right hand. The comedian continued, “And we’re excessive when we end a relationship too ‘cause you’re likely to wake up with a horse’s head in your bed…or even worse, my cousin Guido!” The audience laughed as Monk paused.

      “We don’t even treat our dead with respect. Italians bury their dead with their butts sticking up out of the ground. That way when we visit the grave, we have some place to park our bikes!” The audience laughed again and applauded.

      “As an Italian growing-up in America, we pretty much lived by the same rules and sayings that guided other families—we just said them a little bit differently. When the American parents tried to teach their children to always be prepared, they said, ‘Don’t get caught with your pants down.’ My parents taught me the same thing except they said, ‘No canna live in Venice with no gondola!” Monk continued after some laughter from the crowd, “And when American parents told their children to ‘always wear clean underwear in case of an accident and you have to go to the hospital,’ my parents taught us the same thing except they said, ‘No canna live in Venice with no gondola!” More laughter was heard from the audience. “And when American parents told their children to ‘always look before they leap,’ my parents said, ‘everybody,’ (Monk peered into the crowd and held out his hands) ‘No canna live in Venice with no gondola!” The audience laughed and applauded.

      “Like most Italians, I grew up in a Catholic family. We have many beliefs and one of them is that our guardian angel is always with us. In fact, in elementary school, the good nuns always reminded us to sit far to the left and leave room for our guardian angel that always sat on our right side. You knew this was true each time you looked in any classroom. What you saw was one or more Catholic students tumbling to the floor because they moved too far and fell out of their chairs!” Some light laughter rose from the audience.

      Monk continued, “I love my parents, but talk about neurosis on parade! Stress around them is quite relative. Over the years, I’ve developed this three-night visiting rule. I can’t visit for more than three consecutive nights. If I do, I run out of patience; I run out of energy; and I run out of Imodium—I just run out all over the place!” Harrison, Hannah and the crowd erupted in laughter.

      “You know, I’ve been single for so long that I decided to join a singles group here in Rome. I often think back about the time I spent in a Catholic seminary. Now, I find myself in a singles group!” Laughter rose from the audience. “Had I known I was going to live a celibate life anyway, I think I would have stayed in the priesthood!” The audience laughed and applauded.

      “Seminarians or not, we were typical teenagers. I remember once we were attending a Good Friday service at the local convent. Within this cloister of nuns, the good sisters took the vow of silence. Imagine any woman taking the vow of silence!” The comment drew cheers from the male audience and jeers from the women. Monk continued, “The nuns did not interact with the outside world. They were not on line; there was no Internet. The convent used this rotating wooden tube as a conveyance for material. A simple pull of the rope rang a bell signaling that the material was ready. This was quite efficient unless the hearing-impaired СКАЧАТЬ