She. HC Warner

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      He shrugged to himself and tried to shake off the feeling of unease. He certainly wasn’t going to cancel. It would be rude and embarrassing. And it wasn’t as if Bella had any friends she wanted to invite instead. No, he decided, she would have come round by the time they arrived. Even so, he made a mental note to make sure that he gave her a bit more notice in future.

      By the time Matt and Freya arrived that evening, Bella still wasn’t home. Ben had been calling her frantically for several hours but her phone appeared to be switched off. Her job as an executive PA to the boss of a large investment company in the City meant her hours were very regular. There was no reason why she would have been delayed at work, especially on a Friday night, when the whole company tended to head off home an hour or two early.

      ‘Hi, mate!’ Matt held up in front of him a carrier bag stuffed with wine and beer. ‘I’ve brought the usual!’

      Ben smiled as convincingly as he could. ‘Fantastic! Come on in. I’ll order the food. What do you fancy tonight – Chinese or Indian?’

      Matt and Freya dumped their coats in the hall and followed Ben into the kitchen, almost as familiar with his flat as with their own. ‘Ummm … Indian, I think.’ Freya opened the kitchen drawer and took out the bottle opener. Then she took four glasses out of the cupboard and poured three of them. ‘What’s Bella drinking?’ She turned towards Ben expectantly.

      ‘Um, she’ll probably just have water.’

      Freya’s face fell slightly. ‘Of course. Where is she?’ She looked over Ben’s shoulder, as if expecting Bella to materialize.

      Ben swallowed. ‘Um, yeah, she sends her apologies but she’s been held up at work. Hopefully she’ll be here soon. Let’s just order the food and I’ll save her some.’ He saw a look pass between Matt and Freya and felt himself redden slightly. He hated lying to them but he especially hated lying to them when they knew it.

      They ordered the food and ate it at the round, modern table in Ben’s kitchen, as they always had. The gap where Bella should have been sitting and where Charlotte always used to sit, seemed to loom large and the conversation didn’t flow quite the way it usually did. Ben tried to ignore the undercurrent of tension but there was a knot in his stomach and despite drinking a fair bit, his throat seemed dry, making it difficult to eat. He couldn’t remember the taste of anything.

      Finally, earlier than they ever had before, Matt and Freya started looking at their watches. ‘Listen, we’d better be off.’ Matt threw Ben a sympathetic look that caused his stomach to knot even more. ‘I’m playing football in the morning.’

      ‘And I’m on night shifts from tomorrow night, so …’ Freya added, pushing back her chair.

      Ben nodded and stood up. ‘No worries. It was good to see you guys.’

      Freya gave him a hug. ‘Give our love to Bella.’ Her words were heavy with unspoken meaning.

      Ben could feel himself reddening again and cursed himself for it. ‘I will.’

      After he shut the door behind them, he stood in the kitchen with his hands on his hips, wondering what to do. Should he be worried? Somehow he didn’t think so. He knew instinctively that she was punishing him. He began to clear up the plates and glasses and put the remains of the Indian takeaway in the bin outside the back door. Bella hated the smell of food in the flat.

      When everything had been cleared away, he went into the lounge and sat on the sofa, waiting, his heart thudding. The ticking sound of the clock over the fireplace seemed to echo loudly around the room and Ben wondered why he had never noticed it before. Finally, as the hands of the clock clicked round to one o’clock, he heard the key in the front door and stiffened as a wave of anger surged through him. How dare she show him up in front of his oldest friends? And what was wrong with having them round on a Friday night? It was his bloody flat, after all!

      He listened as Bella dropped her bag in the hallway and made her way straight through to the bedroom. With his anger growing, he leaped up and marched into the bedroom behind her. ‘Where the bloody hell have you been?’ he hissed, through gritted teeth.

      Bella, who was sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to him, shook her head.

      Ben rolled his eyes. ‘Well?’ he demanded, a deep torrent of rage soaring up inside his chest. ‘Answer me! Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?’

      Bella turned her face towards him and he immediately recoiled in shame. Her make-up had run and the tracks of her tears were still visible. Her large, brown eyes were ringed with dark circles and she was deathly pale. ‘I’ve been at the hospital,’ she whispered. ‘I thought I was losing the baby.’ As she finished speaking, she dissolved into tears and put her head in her hands.

      ‘Oh my God! Why didn’t you call me?’ Ben dashed to her side and put his arms around her slim, shaking shoulders. All his anger had evaporated in an instant and he now felt like the lousiest husband in the world.

      ‘There wasn’t time … I just wanted to get there. Marcus took me.’

      Ben bristled. Marcus was Bella’s boss and a very successful banker, with whom he knew she had had an affair in the past. ‘Right,’ he managed.

      ‘He was so lovely,’ she continued, her sobs beginning to abate. ‘He waited while they checked me over and then insisted on bringing me home.’

      ‘That was very nice of him,’ Ben agreed, stroking her silky hair. ‘But of course, if you’d rung me, or not had your phone switched off, I would have come straight away.’

      Bella nodded and wiped her eyes, further smudging her mascara. ‘I know, I’m sorry – but I didn’t want to spoil your evening with Matt and Freya …’ She let her words hang in the air. Without her having to say it, the unspoken suggestion that he had prioritized a night of drinking with his mates over looking after his pregnant wife was loud and clear.

      Ben swallowed the lump in his throat. ‘So what happened? What made you think you were losing the baby … and is it OK?’

      Bella shook her head and made a swatting motion with her hand. ‘I don’t want to talk about it. But the main thing is that everything is OK and the baby’s fine.’

      ‘Oh, thank God!’ Relief made Ben feel momentarily light-headed. He was glad he was sitting down. ‘I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you, darling.’ He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her towards him.

      Bella gave him a watery smile. ‘It’s OK. Luckily Marcus was there, so he took care of me. Don’t feel bad.’

      OK, Ben thought, so she was definitely punishing him. But then again, he reasoned, he probably deserved it. ‘Well, let me look after you now,’ he said, bending down to take off her shoes. ‘From now on, I’m not leaving your side.’

      Bella allowed herself to be gently laid down on the bed and smiled up at him. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered, as Ben tried to ignore the slightly triumphant gleam in her eyes. It occurred to him that she had just won a battle that he wasn’t even aware he had been fighting.

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