Развиваем интеллект. И. В. Абрикосова

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СКАЧАТЬ plan something big, really big, she added, just as quiet as the first time.

      Their plan: Three of them would dress as slaves, one wearing a harness under his clothes. One would act as the master, cracking a whip and issuing random, absurd orders. They assumed there would be enough rocks or branches nearby to form a pile for the slaves to carry back and forth. While this was happening, they would run a hidden camera and record the reenactors’ reactions and ask them a few questions about the war, local history, and the reenactments. Then the slave wearing the hidden harness would get uppity, maybe make some untoward comment about the lady of the plantation or try to run off or just complain that there wasn’t enough salt in the food. Then the party would get started. That slave would be hoisted from a low limb as if lynched. They debated whether or not to hang Charlie. Louis argued that using the Veil of Ignorance as a guide meant lynching a white person, ideally a white female, pretty, blond, because they were the most treasured people in the whole, wide world, if not the entire known and unknown universe, in this life and the next, in this dimension—Charlie cut him off, worried that might provoke gunfire, that most people were ignorant of the Veil of Ignorance, so it wouldn’t work. Candice had said (parroted Charlie, really), It is what it is. They should call a spade a spade. At that the debate came to a halt.

      Maybe we should do a practice run? Remember that quote from the Gold Rush? From that Pierson Reading guy? “The Indians of California make as obedient and humble slaves as the Negro in the south. For a mere trifle you can secure their services for life.”

      Daron remembered it all right, but didn’t think it had anything to do with Braggsville. He felt indignation rising as one of Nana’s sayings came to ear: Don’t curse a child for doing childish things, but don’t ’courage him none neither.

      Chapter Six

      ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué?

      Porque it was her idea to ride Medusa—Because! Because! Because! Nonetheless! Understandably!—it was her idea to ride Medusa; because when she whispered in your ear that foggy A.M. in that class that only you two share, that morning after—OR but days after—that party when YOU dressed in vintage polyester and pleather like the cast of the Rocky Horror Picture Show and paraded down Bancroft Ave á la East Bay Story, a new itch stitched YOUR ribs; because when she whispered, beeswax binding her riotous golden dreadlocks, bundled solid, squat enough to pinch you with envy, of course you thought FUCK calculus, FUCK history, FUCK ethnic studies, and not at all metaphorically; because when she whispered, voice riding up from her gut, wearing the sun like a saint, hair riding the air as she turned to you, you envisioned Legend of the Overfiend, bukkake, that fifth-grade slide on conception, now most immodest; nonetheless, YOU are forgiven because she routinely refers to herself in the third person by her First Peoples name or her Tibetan name or her Burner name; understandably forgiven by even the sardonic professor who, midmarker, raised only his left eyebrow when you pressed cracked lips to hand after Goldilocks whispered, Haven’t you ever wanted to ride Medusa?

      Then THEY texted you. Couldn’t back out then, even if you wanted to—Because! Because! Because! Nonetheless! Understandably!—your heart exploded like a watermelon being eaten by an elephant.

      And so YOU are at Six Flags in Vallejo. Va-yay-ho! Screams overhead; fluorescent math problems ride the sky. Vallejo was once the home of the Miwok, Suisunes, and the Patwin, a Wintun people, according to her. In 1850, the government drafted plans to build a new city within the city, a well-appointed capital district complete with a university and botanical garden, according to her. This gilt municipal zone was to be called Eureka, according to her. The irony is lost on you. The irony is not lost on you, but neither is it found. And you, Ferric, you say. A wink your reward. A tickle in your gut, shame, because that’s how it always is, Banks loan quickest to those who least need money. Celaka!! Fuucked up, you say. You don’t know what a ferret has to do with anything, but you’ll, Ferret it out, you promise, you’ll have that vayay-ho, that va-jello, that earthy gash, your own Eureka.

      But first you tried to eat, Charlie and his Macho Nachos, Candice and her Paddle Handle Corn Dog (could the universe be more unfair?), Daron and his Smokehouse burger, and Louis and his Totally Kickin’ Chicken, which he pushed away after two bites, I’m throwing in the chopsticks. Was it nerves, or was it that centered on the picnic table marred with initials carved, etched, and drawn, and stained with mustard and food scraps, sat a fluttering stack of memorial brochures doctored by Candice—Adbusters-style complete with new photos—to extoll the virtues of the Six Flags Graveyard, and one box of ashes. The remains of Ishi, if asked.

      Chapter Seven

      Was this what Mrs. Brooks meant by a like-minded group? How did he get into Berkeley anyway? Professors, students, Miss Lucille—that dining hall attendant who always complimented his manners—even Daron himself. They all wondered, he knew, especially hearing his Friday-night accent, you—fermented—becoming a long y’all, and ain’t rearing its ugly head before, worse yet, being distilled into ’ant. He could reckon the direction of the wheels turning in their heads: budget cuts plus more out-of-state fart-sniffer students equals lower standards. They were wrong, and if they dared ask, he’d say so. Unlike some of them, he’d done it on his own. No college counselor, no private consultant to groom and polish his applicant profile, no practice admissions interviews. Hard work, summer school, and all the AP he could eat were his salvation, the price of his admission. That, and he wrote a damned fine application letter.

      He had revised for weeks, reading every Wikipedia entry on writing, watching every YouTube video on the application process, some links provided by the school, others he found on his own, checking out every book of cover letters from the library. He even ordered online, with his lunch money, a book entitled 100 of the Best Application Essays Ever! He consulted, at their insistence, his father and his AP English teacher. His father’s advice: Tell the truth. A man’s word is his only honor, and honor is the only currency that never needs exchanging. His English teacher’s advice: Teachers spend most of their lives reading piss-rich attempts at mind reading. Distinguish yourself in writing by being completely yourself and speaking your piece, even if your opinion runs contrary to the popular position, in fact, more so in those instances. D’aron had done just that, at the end, working in secret.

      Freshman applicant prompt:

      Describe the world you come from—for example, your family, community or school—and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

       Dear _______ Application Committee,

       I am submitting respectfully this essay written for your perusal.

       If we were a TV show, we’ d be a soap opera. If we were a musical, we’ d be a rock opera. But, in real life, we’re a Shakespeare play, Romeo and Juliet.

       I was born into a working-class family in the heart of Georgia. My mother’s family was Irish and my father’s family was descended from coal miners. They never had much, but we worked hard and made our way up. Mostly everyone works for the Kenny Hot Air factory where they make motors for the hand dryers used all across our great United States of America. The Davenports and the McCormicks never got along until my folks were married. We believe in diversity and multi-cultural-ism.

       My father wanted to go to college, but after coming back from Honorably serving his country in the First Gulf War, the GI Bills weren’t any use because he had to work and couldn’t commute seventy-five miles each way to the nearest community college. Now he is a floor manager and enrolled to earn an online degree in business because capitalism is the future of the world and even China realizes that now, after what Reagan did to Russia and Germany. СКАЧАТЬ