really have no notion how delightful it will be When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!" But the snail replied, "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance, Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland.
COULD draw on wood at a very tender age. When a mere child I once drew a small cartload of turnips over a wooden bridge. The people of the village noticed me. I drew their attention.
C. F. Browne, Artemus Ward's Lecture.
HAT all-softening over-powering knell, The tocsin of the soul—the dinner-bell.
Lord Byron, Don Juan.
OW Darwin proves as clear as mud, That, endless ages ere the Flood, The Coming Man's primeval form Was simply an Ascidian worm: And having then the habit got Of passing liquor down his throat, He keeps it still, and shows full well That Man—was—once——a leather bottèl.
Lord Neaves, Songs and Verses.
HE ancients," quoth Paul, "were very great men, Mr. MacGrawler." "They were so, sir," returned the critic; "we make it a rule in our profession to assert that fact." "But, sir," said Paul, "they are wrong now and then. "Never, Ignoramus, never." "They praised poverty, Mr. MacGrawler," said Paul, with a sigh. "Hem," quoth the critic, a little staggered; but presently recovering his characteristic acumen, he observed, "It is true, Paul, but that was the poverty of other people."
Lord Lytton, Paul Clifford.
ES, Fortune deserves to be chidden, It is a coincidence queer— Whenever one wants to be hidden Some blockhead is sure to appear!
Frederick Locker, London Lyrics.
NE day in the country [Sheridan Knowles] said to Abbot, with whom he had been acting there, "My dear fellow, I'm off to-morrow. Can I take any letters for you?" "You're very kind," answered Abbot; "but where are you going to?" "I haven't made up my mind."
J.R.PlanchÉ, Recollections.
BLUE STOCKINGS.
HE newspapers lately have taught us to know How some strong-minded hens are beginning to crow. But, dear ladies, beware: take the word of a friend, That when rivalry comes, all affection must end. With the brightest of spoons would be war to the knife In political contests 'twixt husband and wife; And the sentence of doom might be sudden and brief If a feminine subaltern jilted her chief. We men take a pride in concealing our chains, And would like to be thought to monopolize brains; So I'll give you this maxim, my counsels to crown— If the stockings are blue, keep the petticoats down.
Once a Week.
ALKING of Kean, I mentioned his having told me that he had eked out his means of living, before he emerged from obscurity, by teaching dancing, fencing, elocution, and boxing. "Elocution and boxing!" (repeated Bobus Smith)—"a word and a blow."
Thomas Moore, Diary.
MILITARY.
MART soldiers like to be well tightened in: Loose habits would destroy all discipline.
H. J. Byron, in English Epigrams.
ONTAINE, the architect, who built the triumphal arch in the Carrousel, placed upon it an empty car, drawn by the famous bronze Venetian horses. Talleyrand asked him, "Qui avez vous l'intention de mettre dans le char?" The answer was, "L'Empereur Napoléon, comme de raison." Upon which Talleyrand said, "Le char l'attend."
Gronow, Recollections.
IS doubtless well to be sometimes awake— Awake to duty, and awake to truth— But when, alas! a nice review we take Of our best deeds and days, we find, in sooth, The hours that leave the slightest cause to weep Are those we passed in childhood or asleep!
John Godfrey Saxe, Poems.
IR TOBY. "Does not our life consist of the four elements?"
Sir Andrew. "Faith, so they say; but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking."
Twelfth Night, Act II., Scene 3.
HE thought "Wives and Daughters" "so jolly;" "Had I read it?" She knew that I had: Like the rest, I should dote upon "Molly;" And "poor Mrs. Gaskell—how sad!" "Like Browning?" "But so-so." His proof lay Too deep for her frivolous mood, That preferred your mere metrical soufflé To the stronger poetical food; Yet at times he was good—"as a tonic:" Was Tennyson writing just now? And was this new poet Byronic, And clever, and naughty, or how?
Austin Dobson, Vignettes in Rhyme.
LD friends are best. King James used to call for his old shoes; they were easiest for his feet.
Selden, Table Talk.
ET a coach be called, And let the man who called it be the caller; And in his calling let him nothing call, But coach, coach, coach! Oh for a coach, ye gods!
Carey, Chrononhotonthologos.
F you could make a pudding wi' thinking o' the batter, it 'ud be easy getting dinner.
