Lucy Maud Montgomery Short Stories, 1907 to 1908. L. M. Montgomery

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СКАЧАТЬ did anything ever escape her?—and when he was gone she asked, significantly, what secret he had been telling me.

      "He wants to see me alone tomorrow afternoon. I suppose you know what that means, Alicia?"

      "Ah," purred Alicia, "I congratulate you, my dear."

      "Aren't your congratulations a little premature?" I asked coldly. "I haven't accepted him yet."

      "But you will?"

      "Oh, certainly. Isn't it what we've schemed and angled for? I'm very well satisfied."

      And so I am. But I wish it hadn't come so soon after Jack's visit, because I feel rather upset yet. Of course I like Gus Sinclair very much, and I am sure I shall be very fond of him.

      Well, I must go to bed now and get my beauty sleep. I don't want to be haggard and hollow-eyed at that important interview tomorrow—an interview that will decide my destiny.

      Thrush Hill, May 6, 18—.

      Well, it did decide it, but not exactly in the way I anticipated. I can look back on the whole affair quite calmly now, but I wouldn't live it over again for all the wealth of Ind.

      That day when Gus Sinclair came I was all ready for him. I had put on my very prettiest new gown to do honour to the occasion, and Alicia smilingly assured me I was looking very well.

      "And so cool and composed. Will you be able to keep that up? Don't you really feel a little nervous, Katherine?"

      "Not in the least," I said. "I suppose I ought to be, according to traditions, but I never felt less flustered in my life."

      When Bessie brought up Gus Sinclair's card Alicia dropped a pecky little kiss on my cheek, and pushed me toward the door. I went down calmly, although I'll admit that my heart was beating wildly. Gus Sinclair was plainly nervous, but I was composed enough for both. You would really have thought that I was in the habit of being proposed to by a millionaire every day.

      "I suppose you know what I have come to say," he said, standing before me, as I leaned gracefully back in a big chair, having taken care that the folds of my dress fell just as they should.

      And then he proceeded to say it in a rather jumbled-up fashion, but very sincerely.

      I remember thinking at the time that he must have composed the speech in his head the night before, and rehearsed it several times, but was forgetting it in spots.

      When he ended with the self-same question that Jack had asked me three months before at Thrush Hill he stopped and took my hands.

      I looked up at him. His good, homely face was close to mine, and in his eyes was an unmistakable look of love and tenderness.

      I opened my mouth to say yes.

      And then there came over me in one rush the most awful realization of the sacrilege I was going to commit.

      I forgot everything except that I loved Jack Willoughby, and that I could never, never marry anybody in the world except him.

      Then I pulled my hands away and burst into hysterical, undignified tears.

      "I beg your pardon," said Mr. Sinclair. "I did not mean to startle you. Have I been too abrupt? Surely you must have known—you must have expected—"

      "Yes—yes—I knew," I cried miserably, "and I intended right up to this very minute to marry you. I'm so sorry—but I can't—I can't."

      "I don't understand," he said in a bewildered tone. "If you expected it, then why—why—don't you care for me?"

      "No, that's just it," I sobbed. "I don't love you at all—and I do love somebody else. But he is poor, and I hate poverty. So I refused him, and I meant to marry you just because you are rich."

      Such a pained look came over his face. "I did not think this of you," he said in a low tone.

      "Oh, I know I have acted shamefully," I said. "You can't think any worse of me than I do of myself. How you must despise me!"

      "No," he said, with a grim smile, "if I did it would be easier for me. I might not love you then. Don't distress yourself, Katherine. I do not deny that I feel greatly hurt and disappointed, but I am glad you have been true to yourself at last. Don't cry, dear."

      "You're very good," I answered disconsolately, "but all the same the fact remains that I have behaved disgracefully to you, and I know you think so. Oh, Mr. Sinclair, please, please, go away. I feel so miserably ashamed of myself that I cannot look you in the face."

      "I am going, dear," he said gently. "I know all this must be very painful to you, but it is not easy for me, either."

      "Can you forgive me?" I said wistfully.

      "Yes, my dear, completely. Do not let yourself be unhappy over this. Remember that I will always be your friend. Goodbye."

      He held out his hand and gave mine an earnest clasp. Then he went away.

      I remained in the drawing-room, partly because I wanted to finish out my cry, and partly because, miserable coward that I was, I didn't dare face Alicia. Finally she came in, her face wreathed with anticipatory smiles. But when her eyes fell on my forlorn, crumpled self she fairly jumped.

      "Katherine, what is the matter?" she asked sharply. "Didn't Mr. Sinclair—"

      "Yes, he did," I said desperately. "And I've refused him. There now, Alicia!"

      Then I waited for the storm to burst. It didn't all at once. The shock was too great, and at first quite paralyzed my half-sister.

      "Katherine," she gasped, "are you crazy? Have you lost your senses?"

      "No, I've just come to them. It's true enough, Alicia. You can scold all you like. I know I deserve it, and I won't flinch. I did really intend to take him, but when it came to the point I couldn't. I didn't love him."

      Then, indeed, the storm burst. I never saw Alicia so angry before, and I never got so roundly abused. But even Alicia has her limits, and at last she grew calmer.

      "You have behaved disgracefully," she concluded. "I am disgusted with you. You have encouraged Gus Sinclair markedly right along, and now you throw him over like this. I never dreamed that you were capable of such unwomanly behaviour."

      "That's a hard word, Alicia," I protested feebly.

      She dealt me a withering glance. "It does not begin to be as hard as your shameful conduct merits. To think of losing a fortune like that for the sake of sentimental folly! I didn't think you were such a consummate fool."

      "I suppose you absorbed all the sense of our family," I said drearily. "There now, Alicia, do leave me alone. I'm down in the very depths already."

      "What do you mean to do now?" said Alicia scornfully. "Go back to Valleyfield and marry that starving country doctor of yours, I suppose?"

      I flared up then; Alicia might abuse me all she liked, but I wasn't going to hear a word against Jack.

      "Yes, СКАЧАТЬ