Virginia Woolf: A Writer's Diary. Вирджиния Вулф

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СКАЧАТЬ I ground my pedals, so my story would begin telling itself; and then the sun would be down; and home, and some bout of poetry after dinner, half read, half lived, as if the flesh were dissolved and through it the flowers burst red and white. There! I’ve written out half my irritation. I hear poor L. driving the lawn mower up and down, for a wife like I am should have a latch to her cage. She bites! And he spent all yesterday running around London for me. Still if one is Prometheus, if the rock is hard and the gadflies pungent, gratitude, affection, none of the nobler feelings have sway. And so this August is wasted.

      Only the thought of people suffering more than I do at all consoles; and that is an aberration of egotism, I suppose. I will now make out a time table if I can to get through these odious days.

      Poor Mdlle Lenglen, finding herself beaten by Mrs Mallory, flung down her racquet and burst into tears. Her vanity I suppose is colossal. I daresay she thought that to be Mdlle Lenglen was the greatest thing in the world; invincible, like Napoleon. Armstrong, playing in the test match, took up his position against the gates and would not move, let the bowlers appoint themselves, the whole game became farcical because there was not time to play it out. But Ajax in the Greek play was of the same temper—which we all agree to call heroic in him. But then everything is forgiven to the Greeks. And I’ve not read a line of Greek since last year, this time, too. But I shall come back, if it’s only in snobbery; I shall be reading Greek when I’m old; old as the woman at the cottagè door, whose hair might be a wig in a play, it’s so white, so thick. Seldom penetrated by love for mankind as I am, I sometimes feel sorry for the poor who don’t read Shakespeare, and indeed have felt some generous democratic humbug at the Old Vic, when they played Othello and all the poor men and women and children had him there for themselves. Such splendour and such poverty. I am writing down the fidgets, so no matter if I write nonsense. Indeed, any interference with the normal proportions of things makes me uneasy. I know this room too well—this view too well—I am getting it all out of focus, because I can’t walk through it.

      Monday, September 12th.

      I have finished The Wings of the Dove, and make this comment. His manipulation becomes so elaborate towards the end that instead of feeling the artist you merely feel the man who is posing the subject. And then I think he loses the power to feel the crisis. He becomes merely excessively ingenious. This, you seem to hear him saying, is the way to do it. Now just when you expect a crisis, the true artist evades it. Never do the thing, and it will be all the more impressive. Finally, after all this juggling and arranging of silk pocket handkerchiefs, one ceases to have any feeling for the figure behind. Milly thus manipulated disappears. He overreaches himself. And then one can never read it again. The mental grasp and stretch are magnificent. Not a flabby or slack sentence, but much emasculated by this timidity or consciousness or whatever it is. Very highly American, I conjecture, in the determination to be highly bred, and the slight obtuseness as to what high breeding is.

      Tuesday, November 15th.

      Really, really—this is disgraceful—15 days of November spent and my diary none the wiser. But when nothing is written one may safely suppose that I have been stitching books; or we have had tea at 4 and I have taken my walk afterwards; or I have had to read something for next day’s writing, or I have been out late, come home with stencilling materials and sat down in excitement to try one. We went to Rodmell, and the gale blew at us all day; off arctic fields; so we spent our time attending to the fire. The day before this I wrote the last words of Jacob—on Friday November 4th to be precise, having begun it on April 16, 1920: allowing for 6 months interval due to Monday or Tuesday and illness, this makes about a year. I have not yet looked at it. I am struggling with Henry James’s ghost stories for The Times; have I not just laid them down in a mood of satiety? Then I must do Hardy; then I want to write a life of Newnes; then I shall have to furbish up Jacob; and one of these days, if only I could find energy to tackle the Paston letters, I must start Reading: directly I’ve started Reading I shall think of another novel, I daresay. So that the only question appears to be—will my fingers stand so much scribbling?

      Monday, December 19th.

      I will add a postscript, as I wait for my parcels to be wrapped up, on the nature of reviewing.

      ‘Mrs Woolf? I want to ask you one or two questions about your Henry James article.

      ‘First (only about the right name of one of the stories).

      ‘And now you use the word “lewd”. Of course, I don’t wish you to change it, but surely that is rather a strong expression to apply to anything by Henry James. I haven’t read the story lately of course—but still, my impression is ‘

      ‘Well, I thought that when I read it: one has to go by one’s impressions at the time.’

      ‘But you know the usual meaning of the word? It is—ah—

      dirty. Now poor dear old Henry James At any rate, think it over and ring me up in 20 minutes.’ So I thought it over and came to the required conclusion in twelve minutes and a half. But what is one to do about it? He made it sufficiently clear not only that he wouldn’t stand ‘lewd’ but that he didn’t much like anything else. I feel that this becomes more often the case, and I wonder whether to break off, with an explanation, or to pander, or to go on writing against the current. This last is probably right, but somehow the consciousness of doing that cramps one. One writes stiffly, without spontaneity. Anyhow, for the present I shall let it be, and meet my castigation with resignation. People will complain I’m sure, and poor Bruce fondling his paper like an only child dreads public criticism, is stern with me, not so much for disrespect to poor old Henry, but for bringing blame on the Supplement. And how much time I have wasted!

1922.

       Table of Contents

      Wednesday, February 15th.

      Of my reading I will now try to make some note. First Peacock: Nightmare Abbey, and Crotchet Castle. Both are so much better than I remember. Doubtless, Peacock is a taste acquired in maturity. When I was young, reading him in a railway carriage in Greece, sitting opposite Thoby I remember, who pleased me immensely by approving my remark that Meredith had got his women from Peacock, and that they were very charming women, then, I say, I rather had to prod my enthusiasm. Thoby liked it straight off. I wanted mystery, romance, psychology I suppose. And now more than anything I want beautiful prose. I relish it more and more exquisitely. And I enjoy satire more. I like the scepticism of his mind more. I enjoy intellectuality. Moreover, fantasticality does a good deal better than sham psychology. One touch of red in the cheek is all he gives, but I can do the rest. And then they’re so short; and I read them in little yellowish perfectly appropriate first editions.

      The masterly Scott has me by the hair once more. Old Mortality. I’m in the middle; and have to put up with some dull sermons; but I doubt that he can be dull, because everything is so much in keeping—even his odd monochromatic landscape painting, done in smooth washes of sepia and burnt sienna. Edith and Henry too might be typical figures by an old master, put in exactly in the right place. And Cuddie and Mause are as usual marching straight away for all time, as lusty as life. But I daresay the lighting and the story telling business prevent him from going quite ahead with his fun as in the Antiquary.

      Thursday, February 16th.

      To continue—certainly the later chapters are bare and grey, ground out too palpably; authorities, I daresay, interfering with the original flow. And Morton is a prig; and Edith a stick; and Evandale a brick; and the preacher’s dulness I could take for granted. Still—still—I want to know what the next chapter brings, and these gallant old fellows can be СКАЧАТЬ