The Secret Places of the Heart. Герберт Уэллс

Чтение книги онлайн.

Section 3

       Table of Contents

      “There’s something very pleasant,” said the doctor, envisaging his own rash proposal, “in travelling along roads you don’t know and seeing houses and parks and villages and towns for which you do not feel in the slightest degree responsible. They hide all their troubles from the road. Their backyards are tucked away out of sight, they show a brave face; there’s none of the nasty self-betrayals of the railway approach. And everything will be fresh still. There will still be a lot of apple-blossom—and bluebells. … And all the while we can be getting on with your affair.”

      He was back at the window now. “I want the holiday myself,” he said.

      He addressed Sir Richmond over his shoulder. “Have you noted how fagged and unstable EVERYBODY is getting? Everybody intelligent, I mean.”

      “It’s an infernally worrying time.”

      “Exactly. Everybody suffers.”

      “It’s no GOOD going on in the old ways—”

      “It isn’t. And it’s a frightful strain to get into any new ways. So here we are.

      “A man,” the doctor expanded, “isn’t a creature in vacuo. He’s himself and his world. He’s a surface of contact, a system of adaptations, between his essential self and his surroundings. Well, our surroundings have become—how shall I put it?—a landslide. The war which seemed such a definable catastrophe in 1914 was, after all, only the first loud crack and smash of the collapse. The war is over and—nothing is over. This peace is a farce, reconstruction an exploded phrase. The slide goes on—it goes, if anything, faster, without a sign of stopping. And all our poor little adaptations! Which we have been elaborating and trusting all our lives! … One after another they fail us. We are stripped. … We have to begin all over again. … I’m fifty-seven and I feel at times nowadays like a chicken new hatched in a thunderstorm.”

      The doctor walked towards the bookcase and turned.

      “Everybody is like that … it isn’t—what are you going to do? It isn’t—what am I going to do? It’s—what are we all going to do! … Lord! How safe and established everything was in 1910, say. We talked of this great war that was coming, but nobody thought it would come. We had been born in peace, comparatively speaking; we had been brought up in peace. There was talk of wars. There were wars—little wars—that altered nothing material. … Consols used to be at 112 and you fed your household on ten shillings a head a week. You could run over all Europe, barring Turkey and Russia, without even a passport. You could get to Italy in a day. Never were life and comfort so safe—for respectable people. And we WERE respectable people. … That was the world that made us what we are. That was the sheltering and friendly greenhouse in which we grew. We fitted our minds to that. … And here we are with the greenhouse falling in upon us lump by lump, smash and clatter, the wild winds of heaven tearing in through the gaps.”

      Upstairs on Dr. Martineau’s desk lay the typescript of the opening chapters of a book that was intended to make a great splash in the world, his PSYCHOLOGY OF A NEW AGE. He had his metaphors ready.

      “We said: ‘This system will always go on. We needn’t bother about it.’ We just planned our lives accordingly. It was like a bird building its nest of frozen snakes. My father left me a decent independence. I developed my position; I have lived between here and the hospital, doing good work, enormously interested, prosperous, mildly distinguished. I had been born and brought up on the good ship Civilization. I assumed that someone else was steering the ship all right. I never knew; I never enquired.”

      “Nor did I,” said Sir Richmond, “but—”

      “And nobody was steering the ship,” the doctor went on. “Nobody had ever steered the ship. It was adrift.”

      “I realized that. I—”

      “It is a new realization. Always hitherto men have lived by faith—as children do, as the animals do. At the back of the healthy mind, human or animal, has been this persuasion: ‘This is all right. This will go on. If I keep the rule, if I do so and so, all will be well. I need not trouble further; things are cared for.’ ”

      “If we could go on like that!” said Sir Richmond.

      “We can’t. That faith is dead. The war—and the peace—have killed it.”

      The doctor’s round face became speculative. His resemblance to the full moon increased. He seemed to gaze at remote things. “It may very well be that man is no more capable of living out СКАЧАТЬ