THE VIRGINIAN (Western Classic). Owen Wister

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      "I'll find out," said I. And I hurried across to the dim sleeping room, happy to have a part in this.

      They were all in bed; and in some beds two were sleeping. How they could do it—but in those days I was fastidious. The American had come in recently and was still awake.

      "Thought you were to sleep at the store?" said he.

      So then I invented a little lie, and explained that I was in search of the Virginian.

      "Better search the dives," said he. "These cow-boys don't get to town often."

      At this point I stumbled sharply over something.

      "It's my box of Consumption Killer," explained the drummer; "Well, I hope that man will stay out all night."

      "Bed narrow?" I inquired.

      "For two it is. And the pillows are mean. Takes both before you feel anything's under your head."

      He yawned, and I wished him pleasant dreams.

      At my news the Virginian left the bar at once; and crossed to the sleeping room. Steve and I followed softly, and behind us several more strung out in an expectant line. "What is this going to be?" they inquired curiously of each other. And upon learning the great novelty of the event, they clustered with silence intense outside the door where the Virginian had gone in.

      We heard the voice of the drummer, cautioning his bed-fellow. "Don't trip over the Killer," he was saying. "The Prince of Wales barked his shin just now." It seemed my English clothes had earned me this title.

      The boots of the Virginian were next heard to drop.

      "Can yu' make out what he's at?" whispered Steve.

      He was plainly undressing. The rip of swift unbuttoning told us that the black-headed guy must now be removing his overalls.

      "Why, thank yu', no," he was replying to a question of the drummer. "Outside or in's all one to me."

      "Then, if you'd just as soon take the wall—"

      "Why, cert'nly." There was a sound of bedclothes, and creaking. "This hyeh pillo' needs a Southern climate," was the Virginian's next observation.

      Many listeners had now gathered at the door. The dealer and the player were both here. The storekeeper was present, and I recognized the agent of the Union Pacific Railroad among the crowd. We made a large company, and I felt that trembling sensation which is common when the cap of a camera is about to be removed upon a group.

      "I should think," said the drummer's voice, "that you'd feel your knife and gun clean through that pillow."

      "I do," responded the Virginian.

      "I should think you'd put them on a chair and be comfortable."

      "I'd be uncomfortable, then."

      "Used to the feel of them, I suppose?"

      "That's it. Used to the feel of them. I would miss them, and that would make me wakeful."

      "Well, good night."

      "Good night. If I get to talkin' and tossin', or what not, you'll understand you're to—"

      "Yes, I'll wake you."

      "No, don't yu', for God's sake!"

      "Not?"

      "Don't yu' touch me."

      "What'll I do?"

      "Roll away quick to your side. It don't last but a minute." The Virginian spoke with a reassuring drawl.

      Upon this there fell a brief silence, and I heard the drummer clear his throat once or twice.

      "It's merely the nightmare, I suppose?" he said after a throat clearing.

      "Lord, yes. That's all. And don't happen twice a year. Was you thinkin' it was fits?"

      "Oh, no! I just wanted to know. I've been told before that it was not safe for a person to be waked suddenly that way out of a nightmare."

      "Yes, I have heard that too. But it never harms me any. I didn't want you to run risks."

      "Me?"

      "Oh, it'll be all right now that yu' know how it is." The Virginian's drawl was full of assurance.

      There was a second pause, after which the drummer said:--

      "Tell me again how it is."

      The Virginian answered very drowsily: "Oh, just don't let your arm or your laig touch me if I go to jumpin' around. I'm dreamin' of Indians when I do that. And if anything touches me then, I'm liable to grab my knife right in my sleep."

      "Oh, I understand," said the drummer, clearing his throat. "Yes."

      Steve was whispering delighted oaths to himself, and in his joy applying to the Virginian one unprintable name after another.

      We listened again, but now no further words came. Listening very hard, I could half make out the progress of a heavy breathing, and a restless turning I could clearly detect. This was the wretched drummer. He was waiting. But he did not wait long. Again there was a light creak, and after it a light step. He was not even going to put his boots on in the fatal neighborhood of the dreamer. By a happy thought Medicine Bow formed into two lines, making an avenue from the door. And then the commercial traveller forgot his Consumption Killer. He fell heavily over it.

      Immediately from the bed the Virginian gave forth a dreadful howl.

      And then everything happened at once; and how shall mere words narrate it? The door burst open, and out flew the commercial traveller in his stockings. One hand held a lump of coat and trousers with suspenders dangling, his boots were clutched in the other. The sight of us stopped his flight short. He gazed, the boots fell from his hand; and at his profane explosion, Medicine Bow set up a united, unearthly noise and began to play Virginia reel with him. The other occupants of the beds had already sprung out of them, clothed chiefly with their pistols, and ready for war. "What is it?" they demanded. "What is it?"

      "Why, I reckon it's drinks on Steve," said the Virginian from his bed. And he gave the first broad grin that I had seen from him.

      "I'll set 'em up all night!" Steve shouted, as the reel went on regardless. The drummer was bawling to be allowed to put at least his boots on. "This way, Pard," was the answer; and another man whirled him round. "This way, Beau!" they called to him; "This way, Budd!" and he was passed like a shuttle-cock down the line. Suddenly the leaders bounded into the sleeping-room. "Feed the machine!" they said. "Feed her!" And seizing the German drummer who sold jewellery, they flung him into the trough of the reel. I saw him go bouncing like an ear of corn to be shelled, and the dance ingulfed him. I saw a Jew sent rattling after him; and next they threw in the railroad employee, and the other Jew; and while I stood mesmerized, my own feet left the earth. I shot from the room and sped like a bobbing cork into this mill race, whirling my turn in the wake of the others amid cries of, "Here comes the Prince of Wales!" There was soon not much English left about my raiment.

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