Hints on Child-training. H. Clay Trumbull

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СКАЧАТЬ was not fully recognized by others, but that it was frequently ignored or trenched upon by those who took it for granted that, because he was still a child, he had as yet no truly individual position, attitude, and rights in the world. Yet it is not an easy thing for a parent of to-day to bear always in mind that every child of his is as truly an individual as he was when he was a child.

      In little things, as in larger, a child’s individuality is liable to be overlooked, or to be disregarded. A little boy was taken alarmingly ill one day. For several hours his loving mother watched him anxiously. The next day he was in his accustomed health again. His mother, with the evident thought that a child could have no comprehension like a parent’s of such a state of things as that, said to him, tenderly: “My dear boy, you don’t know how sick you were yesterday.” “Oh, yes! I do, dear mamma,” he answered; “I know a great deal better than you do; for I was the one that was sick.” And many a child has the thought that was in that child’s mind, when he is spoken to as though he must get all his ideas of his own feelings and conditions and needs from some one who is supposed to represent him better than he can represent himself—while he is still in childhood.

      It is much the same in the matter of personal rights, as in the matter of personal feelings. A child finds that his individuality is constantly lost sight of, because he is a child; as it ought not to be. A little fellow who had been given a real watch, was conscious of an advance in his relative position by that possession. His uncle, having taken his own watch to the watchmaker’s, asked the loan of the little fellow’s watch for the time being, saying that he could not get along without one. “Can’t you get along without a watch?” asked the nephew. “No, I cannot,” replied the uncle. “If I had mine at the watchmaker’s, would you lend me yours till mine came back?” was the little fellow’s searching inquiry. “Why, no; I don’t suppose I would,” replied the other. “But then, you know, I’m a man, and you are a boy.” “Well, then,” said the individual boy to the individual man; “if you can’t get along without a watch, and you wouldn’t lend me yours if I needed it, I can’t get along without a watch, and I can’t let you have mine.”

      Now, the trouble in that case was that the boy’s individuality was not sufficiently recognized and honored by the manner of that request for his watch. It seemed to be taken for granted that, because he was a child, he had no such rights in his own possessions as a man has in his, and that he put no such value on that which he had, as a man would be sure to put on his belongings. Against that assumption the child quite naturally, and with a good show of logic, resolutely asserted himself. If, on the other hand, the boy had been appealed to as an equal, to render a favor to the other because of a special and a clearly explained need, there is no reason to doubt that he would have been prompt to respond to it, with a feeling of satisfaction in being able to render that favor.

      Just here is where so many children are deprived of their rights as individuals, by inconsiderate parents or others. When seats are lacking for new comers in a room or a street-car, and two or three children are seated together by themselves in absorbing chat, the temptation is to speak quickly to the little ones, telling them to vacate those seats for their elders, in a tone that seems to indicate that a child has no rights in comparison with a grown person; instead of showing by the very manner of address that the children’s attention is called to their privilege of showing courtesy to their elders. In the one case, every child of that party feels aggrieved through being made to feel that his rights are not recognized as rights. In the other case, he is gratified by the implied confidence in his gentlemanliness, and in his readiness to yield his rights gracefully. A child’s rights as an individual are as positive and as sacred as a man’s; and it is never proper to ignore these rights in a child, any more than it would be in a man.

      When a child shows an unexpected interest in a subject of conversation between adults, it is not fair for the adults to brush aside the child’s questions or comments in a way that seems to say, “Oh! you are only a child. Your opinions are of no account. This is a matter for real people to think and talk about.” Yet how common a thing it is for parents to treat their children in this way; and what a mistake it is! If, indeed, the subject be one that is fairly beyond a child’s grasp, it is quite proper to give the child to understand this fact, without any lack of respect for his individuality; but under no circumstances is it right to ignore that individuality at such a time.

      The deeper the theme of converse, and the profounder the thought involved in it, the greater the probability of a child’s freshness and life in its considering, if he indicates an appreciative interest in its discussion. It is not merely in the story of the child Samuel that there is a gleam of childhood’s possibilities in the direction of closer communion with God than is granted to ordinary manhood; but all the teachings of Scripture and of human experience tend to the disclosure and confirmation of this same truth. “Verily I say unto you,” says our Lord, “Except ye turn, and become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven.” And again: “See that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.” And there is an echo of these Divine words in the familiar teachings of the Christian poet of nature:

      “Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

      Shades of the prison-house begin to close

      Upon the growing Boy,

      But he beholds the light, and whence it flows—

      He sees it in his joy;

      The Youth, who daily farther from the East

      Must travel, still is Nature’s priest,

      And by the vision splendid

      Is on his way attended;

      At length the Man perceives it die away,

      And fade into the light of common day.”

      There is, indeed, a possibility of retaining the child-freshness of acquaintance with spiritual truths even into manhood and through all one’s life. That possibility every parent ought to strive to attain to. “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child,” said our Lord, as he pointed to a veritable human little one, “the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” And he who is greatest through being most child-like, will be readiest to recognize the individuality and the glorious possibilities of each and every child committed to his charge. Even while training a child, he will learn from the child; and so he and his child will grow together toward the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.

      

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