Coma. Federico Betti

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СКАЧАТЬ have got to him with some good news; but clearly his brother’s conditions were stationary because he didn’t see anyone coming all afternoon, and when Mario Mazza got out of the hospital to get back home, outside it was snowing again.

      Swearing and covering himself up as much as possible, he got on the bus to Bologna’s town centre, where he decided to stop for the happy hour in a pub in Zamboni street.

      XII

      I’m driving, I don’t know where to. I’m in a car, with a steering wheel in front of me and nothing else.

      In this car there are no passengers’ seats, and all around it’s dark.

      I didn’t understand the reason, but I’m sure that around here there’s someone that has bad intentions towards me.

      I haven’t understood where I am: in a garage? Locked in a secret place?

      And, mainly, I don’t know why I am in this unknown place. I feel like I got here by chance, catapulted here, almost against my will.

      Headache is coming back, stronger and persistent. What should I do?

      “Where are you? Please, I need something to make this migraine go away.”

       No one is answering, everyone ran away, are they afraid of something maybe?

      “Come on, get out of there!”

       No way, the situation doesn’t change.

      I try to look at my right and at my left, to look behind me, in the case that I could notice a movement, but I don’t see a thing.

      This condition is starting to get on my nerves, I barely stand the darkness because I know that it could hide some trap, I can’t stand being made fun of by someone, known or not that he could be, at this point I can’t stand any of this. For a moment I see…

      A shadow, the one that I saw the other time, it’s coming back towards me.

      It’s next to be, I notice that he stops, I turn left and I found it in front of me, inconsistent and without its face’s features.

      “A painkiller. Do you have a painkiller for me?”, I ask once again, realizing again, only after asking the question, that I can’t insist on an answer. Not from a shadow.

      If it had eyes, it would look at me.

      “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

       I know that there questions, like a lot more that could pop in my head, won’t have any answer, but if I ask them it’s because this way I could find certainty inside me.

      The shadow goes quickly back on his steps, leaving me alone with many unanswered questions, then it comes back.

      “May I know who you are?”, I say, almost screaming. I feel like being on the limit of hysteria; I have to calm down, relax, otherwise I won’t solve a thing, I will never get out of here.

      I stay for a few minutes in company of this inconsistent figure, that goes away again:

      I try to follow it with my gaze to see where it goes, but I can’t see it anymore, it’s like it dematerialized instantly.

      Maybe it’s all in m head, figment of my imagination, nothing is real and true.

      But, if it really is like this, my mind is playing tricks on me. So: reality or simulation? Am I dreaming or am I awake?

      I try to stop thinking: maybe it would help me calm down and come to sense.

      I close my eyes and wait.

      XIII

      Mario Mazza was quivering from a few days: he knew that soon enough his brother was going to be brought out of the medically inducted coma.

      The doctors confirmed it: “In two days, most likely. The cranial injury is almost completely healed: his brother did really good, he reacted perfectly.”

       He was happy: he could finally start to think about an “after”; they would have gotten back to their normal life.

      He almost couldn’t believe it: at the beginning he was really hopeful for Luigi but, down deep, he thought that he wouldn’t have made it.

      The news was a cure-all, that changed in a better way also his mood: they have been dark days and now he had his smile back.

      He thought about the happy moments together and, unlike a week before, now he started to believe that they could have fun together again like before, go back to have dinner in those restaurants that they really enjoyed testing, go to the movies, or even simply go in a pub in the town centre for a beer.

      If thing really went as predicted, just as at this point it seemed to be, he had to thank from the bottom of his heart the medical staff of the hospital for how much they did and they were still doing.

      At the beginning he was quite pessimistic, but by now he was almost sure to be able to let some ghosts go away: his brother was going to make it.

      The next day, when he got to the hospital, he was very different from the usual: the smile reappeared on his face, thing that missed from a while; he was finally happy, and also started joking with the nurses: after a few days, now he was close to them and knew what to say or do with them, so that they smiled without getting mad.

      The evening arrived in a flash and, when they told him that he couldn’t stay there anymore that day, he went out to go home, this time with his heart lightweight.

      XIV

      I’m driving, I don’t know where to, but I’m driving.

      I’m in a weird car, with the steering wheel in front of me, without the passengers’ sears, and around me it’s all empty and dark.

      I can’t figure out where I am.

      I have a terrible headache that pulses inside my temples and it creates a strong pain, that grows from minute to minute.

      I’m not alone: I see a shadow that comes close to me, so I plucked up my courage and I ask everything, assailing it of questions.

      When it gets next t me, the shadow appears like something… I don’t know how to define it… so, it seems a halo. It doesn’t have a face, I can only see the well-defined profile, as if it was the outlined protagonist of a comic book in black and white.

      “Who are you?”, I ask, but this figure doesn’t answer. And I believe it, it doesn’t even have the mouth to do it.

      The human figure is turned to me, as if it’s watching me, but he can’t see me being without eyes.

      It looks like an extra in a horror movie, where I am the main character. However, I realize that I am not scared, but I feel uncomfortable: I feel exiled in this car, without the chance to get out of it and, even if I wanted to, maybe I wouldn’t manage to go anywhere.

      Maybe, the only way to get out of this deadlock situation, or at least the most reasonable, would be to kill myself; I’ve been here for a СКАЧАТЬ