Code of honor. Storybook. Nicolay Vladimirovich Lakutin

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СКАЧАТЬ I came, I saw exhausted, sunken melancholy eyes of the elderly woman, who never for a moment tore me burn opinion.

      "What do you want?"he said aggressive and cruel she is.

      Probably, I would not believe that visually you can find something native in a person who has never met in my life, in my case, has not seen almost all my life. I don't know what I saw, I don't fully understand what made me realize that the people who hired me were right. Eyes, as eyes, his mouth as his mouth, eyelids, eyebrows, cheekbones, chin, I have all quite another, but something me with a hundred percentage guarantee of gave understand, that before me is worth my mother. The one I've been waiting for nearly forty years. The one that I wanted to see with all my heart, loved and hated with all my heart, the one that came to me countless times in a dream. Yes, Yes, damn it, it's because she was in those dreams that I had stopped seeing many years ago.

      "What Waaam, Nooooo?"once more, but she stretched out more fiercely.

      And through gushing tears flow do not obey consciousness, I quietly and timidly defenseless, as you might say thirty years ago then at boarding school in every second, waiting, whispered:

      "Hello, mother.…»

      Grandma was stupefied. The girl, silence, looked, like a grown tall man shed tears, and didn't understand.

      "Hello, mother" – already more firmly, strictly and with a share of aggression, I said.

      The grandmother looked silently into my eyes, she peered as if into every atom of the structure of my eyes, and only when tears flowed from her dried eyes, she bowed her head already very quietly, and fragile said:

      "My Vitalik is alive," and pulled the handkerchief from her head, putting her old hands to her eyes.

      ***

      Grandma told the girls to go to her house, and called me into the house. I took a bucket of water and brought it to the house.

      I didn't know how to behave. Rather hug her and squeeze her, as I saw in my imagination, piercing all these years, or imprinting her in the wall for what disfigured my childhood and, in fact, all my life. After all, for all these years I have not had a single friend who was from a full respectable family, not a single friend from the secular society. All my life I communicated with the same forgotten and abandoned to some extent people. I was nothing, and I grew up nothing. The employee on watch at the city airport is not the future I dreamed of. What have I seen? What I achieved? It's been written all my life on my face, "godforsaken loser." So what should I do now?

      Mother didn't know how to behave either. I saw her reading every thought I had, and she kept looking into my eyes, and then she looked down at the floor. She sat down on the sofa, asked me to sit next to her, but I sat across from her on the floor. The room overflowed dreary silent second note, which seemed to last forever.

      "Well, tell" – a quiet but firm voice spoke to mother me.

      Mother kept quiet. She wasn't looking at me, sitting motionless, and did not know where to fall, from this difficult situation. Through tears and convulsive shaking of the whole body, she only repeated with a trembling voice – " Vitalik.... my boy… my son… my… alive."

      Mixed feelings blazed in me. And it seems to approach, calm, but do not obey the hands and feet. Sitting on the floor, watching, listening.

      "You must hate me," she said in a raspy voice.…

      I silently looked at the mother, supporting the dialogue.

      "How did you find me?»

      "No matter" – I cut – " you tell me why life crippled myself and me? You know very well what I want you to say, so what do you expect? About myself, about my father, about me, you know? Forty years I don't know who I am, why I live and what I live it."

      "Sinitsyn Igor Leonidovich-that was the name of your father. We were married for four years, then you came along. And, probably, it was the last joyful event in our life".

      My mother stood up, came up to me and sat down next to me on the floor.

      "You don't think, I just gave you to the orphanage. Your father wanted you to grow up in a wealthy family that didn't know poverty. He put on the card all that we had, I did not know about it, otherwise of course would have stopped, but he lost big. People on whom he counted, brought him and disappeared with the money taken for the services, and we remained without housing, the car and means of existence. Take everything. My father then began confusion, he was placed in a psychiatric hospital."

      Mom put her hand on mine and continued.

      "I could not find housing, I quit my job a month before this story, and I have not found a new one yet, and so I had to give you to a boarding school, I myself went to the United Arab Emirates to work. I didn't want you to know who I was working there, what I was doing there, but I did everything I could to make a little room and come back for you. When I came back, you were gone. No one gave me any information about you. Independent searches to anything didn't lead".

      "Yes, I was very ill at the age of twelve, and I was taken to a hospital in Moscow. I stayed there for about six months. Then brought to a local boarding school where I also finished treatment and training. Here in my hometown I moved back after five years in Moscow I found. It is very expensive to live there and very difficult to exist, especially when you have no one."

      "So you were in Moscow when I was looking for you here»

      "Well, where is your apartment the, on earnings which you was leaving?»

      "I did not buy an apartment, came, rushed to look for you, did not find, went away from people, from the bustle of the city and settled here. Here settled on a farm. Paid, of course, crumbs, but I do not need a lot, enough. I went to boarding school every week for two years, no one said anything, no information about you has not appeared. And I lived neither alive not dead, in search of you and not knowing where you are and if you are alive at all. Stopped by periodically to see your dad, but he just got worse, though, here is a little strange, from their sedative drugs better than anyone else does not become. Years twenty-already as went to him. He died, and I have after this strongly shaken health. Many doctors said, sent to clinics capital, but I already had no money for treatment and didn't want to be treated".

      Mom stroked my shoulder with her hand and softly said through tears:

      "And I knew, I knew you were alive, felt, and, of course, hoped even for a short, but a meeting, even for a moment to look into your eyes and seeing you today – not immediately realized who is in front of me".

      She burst into tears, a much larger stream, I hugged her and said, "all right, well, I waited after all. It's going to be different now."

      ***

      I told about how I lived all these years, how I waited and hoped to find my own mother, how fate threw me in different warehouses and watches, how and where I had to work, and where I work now. In the details of this work did not go into, so as not to create new stresses, said that all is well that the house will raise and improve health. Brought mother water with a stock, we put things in order in the house, dismantled all the corners, hastily prepared a modest dinner, salad scored in the neighbor's vegetable garden, there, the mother's agreement on ten squares of land, and for bread I ran, well, bought there's a lot more. When we had dinner, and sat on the sofa, the eyes of my mother were like a completely different person than a few hours ago. I realized that she had found a peace of mind that she had not been destined for many years until today. And of course, I too was happy as never before I found her, СКАЧАТЬ