Caught in the Act. Gemma Fox

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СКАЧАТЬ you,’ he said in a high-pitched voice totally at odds with the fact that he had to be at least six foot tall.

      ‘Nice to meet you too. My boys are upstairs. Come on in and I’ll introduce you. I hope you’re hungry,’ Carol said. ‘We’ve got loads to eat. Do you want to bring your stuff in?’

      Dylan considered for a few moments and then said, ‘Probably not. We got soaked; everything smells disgusting.’

      Carol nodded. ‘OK—well, we can find you some things if you’re stuck.’ Although probably not trousers, she thought ruefully.

      ‘So come on then,’ said Diana, grabbing a huge canvas bag and locking the car. ‘Let’s hear it all. All the goss, all the history, every last bit of juicy scandal…’

      Carol laughed. ‘You haven’t changed, have you?’

      Diana shook her head. ‘You’d better believe it,’ she said, following Carol inside.

      ‘I thought you’d be all sweetness and light.’

      ‘You’ve got a very naïve view of life as a vicar’s wife. I thought I was bad enough.’

      ‘I wouldn’t say you’ve been anywhere near bad enough, by the looks of you,’ Carol said cheerfully. ‘I bought champagne—or would you rather have tea?’

      Diana lifted an eyebrow. ‘Both. Oh, while we’re on the subject of re ally bad, I’ve brought all the old school photos with me. I think my mum bought every single one they ever took.’ She put the canvas bag down on the table and started ferreting around in it. ‘Some of them are truly dire—’

      ‘If I see one New Romantics haircut or anything involving spray-on glitter or shoulder pads, you’re out of here.’

      ‘See, I told you I’m not all good—appearances can be deceptive,’ said Diana, producing the albums with a triumphant grin, and then she paused and looked around the cosy kitchen. ‘Gosh, it’s lovely in here. I’m so hungry, and that smells wonderful.’

      Carol looked at her. ‘Gosh?’

      Diana waved the word away. ‘Sorry, too many years helping with Brownies. Took me God knows how long to wean myself of the f-word—and various b-words once Hedley was ordained—which leaves me with things like, oh gosh and, well goodness me. I only use oh God when I’m out.’

      ‘Bloody hell, not much of a choice, is it?’

      Diana shrugged as Carol took the champagne out of the fridge. ‘You have to be philosophical about it. It could be worse—we could be staunch tee-total Methodists.’

      It felt as if they had never been apart. Carol took Dylan upstairs to meet the mob, and then thumbed the cork out of the bottle of champagne and poured it while Diana sat at the table. Dressed in a cream blouse, smart navyblue skirt and jacket ensemble, sensible shoes and a haircut that made her look like a cross between a social worker and—well—a vicar’s wife, re ally, Diana looked to Carol as if she was dressing up in her mum’s clothes, or maybe an adult version of their old school uniform.

      She topped up Diana’s glass with champagne and lifted it in a toast. ‘Here’s to old friends.’

      Diana tapped the side of the glass with her own. ‘Less of the old,’ she growled.

      ‘I hadn’t realised how much I’ve missed you.’

      ‘I was just thinking the same on the way here. Tell me about you and what you’ve been up to.’

      ‘No, first of all tell me what it’s like being married to a vicar—every year I’ve seen it on the Christmas cards and thought who in God’s name called your husband Hedley.’

      ‘I was hoping we were going to talk about you first,’ Diana protested.

      ‘re ally?’ Carol feigned innocence until Diana shrugged and conceded defeat.

      ‘OK, but it is your turn next. Hedley’s a family name—his great-great-granddad or someone started it. It’s been passed down from generation to generation to the first-born, which has been a boy since the dawn of time the way Hedley tells it—but fortunately, thank God, our first baby turned out to be a girl.’

      ‘Oh, I remember,’ said Carol, sliding the plates onto the table. ‘You sent me a card. Pink patchwork flopsy bunnies in a basket.’

      Diana nodded. ‘That’s right. By the time we got to number four I couldn’t afford the bloody stamps, let alone find time to write the cards. Anyway, we called our eldest Abigail and then after that we had Lucy and Harriet. So when Dylan came along, as we had circumnavigated the whole first-born son thing, we agreed to give him Hedley as a second name. Although I think Hedley’s dad was a little disappointed.’

      ‘Who came up with Dylan, then?’

      Diana raised her eyebrows, but before she could reply Carol jumped in, ‘It had to be Hedley—don’t tell me he was a Magic Roundabout fan?’ almost choking with laughter on her drink.

      Diana’s expression confirmed what Carol already knew. ‘Dylan Thomas?—Not Bob Dylan?’

      ‘You are still a complete and utter cow, aren’t you?’ Diana said after a few seconds. ‘Yes, of course it was Hedley.’ She lowered her voice although the boys were upstairs playing on the computer and well out of earshot. ‘You get used to it after a while—and it could have been worse: his first choice was Ethelred.’

      ‘No?’ Carol stared at her open-mouthed. ‘You’ve got to be joking?’

      Diana waved Carol’s expression away. ‘Do I look like the kind of woman who would joke about something like Ethelred? What would you have done?’

      ‘Left him,’ hissed Carol.

      Diana grinned and shook her head.

      ‘Grabbed “Dylan” with both hands?’

      Two hours, a re ally good lunch and a bottle of champagne later they were still at the table, sitting amongst the debris. The boys had gone back upstairs and Carol had broken out a bottle of Baileys.

      ‘…And the other thing is I’ve always wanted to ask a vicar—and you’re as close as I’m likely to get—did God call him? You know, like the whole voices in the head, road to Damascus thing.’

      Diana shrugged as she opened the first of the stack of photo albums. ‘Oh, bloody hell I don’t know.’

      ‘I see your swearing is coming on nicely. So, go on then—was Hedley called?’

      Diana looked her over. ‘You know, you haven’t changed at all, have you?’ she said, helping herself to a handful of After Eight mints. ‘I’ve genuinely got no idea. You can ask Hedley, if you like. He’s very keen to meet you and the boys.’

      ‘If I were married to him I would have had to have asked him by now.’

      Diana shook her head. ‘I’m not sure I re ally want to know. Hedley is so rational about everything else. How would you feel if the man in your life was doing something because the voices in his head had told СКАЧАТЬ