Finding Stevie: A teenager in crisis. Cathy Glass

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СКАЧАТЬ did some clerical work, phoned my mother for a chat, and before long it was time to start thinking about what to give everyone for dinner.

      Four-thirty came and went and there was no sign of Stevie. At five o’clock, when he still wasn’t home and hadn’t texted, I began to worry. I didn’t want him to think I didn’t trust him or to appear overprotective, but when it got to five-thirty I was really worried and texted. Are you OK? Had expected you home by now. Cathy x

      Paula was now home from college and was trying to talk to me about her day, but I was only half listening. Having texted Stevie, I gave her my full attention for all of two minutes until my phone bleeped with an incoming text. It was from Stevie and I immediately read it. On the bus now. Went to see Kiri and Liam. Which was fine, but he should have told me before that he was going to see his sister and brother, not after the event. I’d remind him when he got home. ‘Sorry, love,’ I said to Paula. ‘Thanks for your patience. Let’s go and sit in the living room and have a chat.’ Which we did. It’s so important to make time for your own children when you foster.

      Stevie arrived home twenty minutes later, just after Paula and I had finished our chat. As I let him in I asked him how Liam (aged eight) and Kiri (aged six) were. He said they were ‘fine, same as usual’. He took off his shoes and coat and I asked him how his day had been at school, and he said, ‘Fine.’ Then he added that he’d seen Carolyn and she and the Head had spoken to the boy who’d been leading the bullying and he’d been made to apologise.

      ‘Did that help?’ I asked.

      ‘I think so,’ Stevie said.

      ‘Good.’ I then reminded him to text me if he wasn’t coming straight home from school. ‘And the same applies for tonight,’ I said. ‘You said you wanted to go out, so I’ll expect you home by nine-thirty. I’d like to know where you’re going and how you are getting home.’

      ‘I’m not going out now,’ he said.

      ‘Oh, OK.’

      He went up to his room and stayed there until dinner was ready. I assumed he was changing out of his school uniform, but when he came down he was still in his school jersey and trousers, and seemed subdued. ‘Everything OK?’ I asked him. He nodded and joined us at the table.

      It was just Paula, Stevie and me for dinner, as Adrian and Lucy were both still working – Adrian until eight o’clock and Lucy on the late shift at the nursery, which finished at seven. As we ate I tried to make conversation, but only Paula responded. Stevie was clearly preoccupied and, once finished, he stood, took his plate and cutlery to the kitchen and went upstairs. Usually I like us all to stay at the table until everyone has finished eating (as he had the previous night) – it’s polite – but it was only a small matter and he obviously had things on his mind. Stevie remained in his room all evening, despite me going up a couple of times and suggesting he come down. I wasn’t unduly worried; many young people like to spend time in their rooms, and he’d had a pretty emotional week and been to school that day.

      I try to see my mother every two weeks, usually at the weekend, when we all go if possible. She lives about an hour’s drive away. However, Mum understood I wouldn’t be going this weekend, as I wanted Stevie settled in first. I’d phone her again over the weekend and my brother would visit. On Saturday morning, when Stevie surfaced, I asked him if he had any plans for the weekend. He said he didn’t and wouldn’t be going out that night even though it was Saturday. I knew young people’s plans often changed and didn’t read anything untoward into it. I suggested he might like to see his grandparents and Liam and Kiri, as there was more time at the weekend, rather than after school. But he didn’t want to do that either; he said he’d seen them the day before.

      Adrian was working Saturday, and Lucy and Paula were thinking of going shopping after lunch, and they asked Stevie if he wanted to join them. I was expecting him to jump at the chance, given his enthusiasm for shopping when I’d taken him, but he said he wasn’t in the mood for shopping and was going to chill in his room. That afternoon there was just him and me in the house and I suggested he might like to come down rather than sit in his room, where he’d been all day.

      ‘I’m good here,’ he said. He was propped up on his bed, texting.

      ‘OK. Have you got any homework to do?’

      ‘Yes, I’ll do it later.’

      I assumed that, having shared a bedroom with his younger brother, he was enjoying having his own space. In respect of his homework, it was reasonable that he should take responsibility for it at his age, although I would remind him again to make sure it was done. With younger children I often sat with them downstairs while they did their homework, giving them help as and when necessary. Of course I would help Stevie too, if he asked. He remained in his room for the whole afternoon and only came down for dinner when Adrian, Lucy and Paula were back. There was no trace of make-up and he was still subdued. I asked him if he was OK and he said he was, but he didn’t join in any of our conversation at all.

      Sunday was bitterly cold, but having not been out the day before I felt in need of a breath of fresh air. I asked if anyone would like to join me for a walk, but there weren’t any takers, so I went alone. I wouldn’t have left a teenager alone in the house when they’d only recently arrived, but Adrian, Paula and Lucy were in. Paula and Lucy were my nominated carers. Foster carers can nominate family members or close friends to help out and babysit when necessary. They are assessed by the carer’s supervising social worker for suitability, and sometimes police checked (now called a DBS check – Disclosure and Barring Service). Lucy had qualifications in childcare, experience of being fostered and of course lived with the looked-after child, so knew them well. I would never have them solely responsible for a lad of fourteen in case he kicked off, but with Adrian there too I felt comfortable going for a short walk. I was home again in under half an hour.

      Adrian went out shortly after I returned and was spending the rest of the day with Kirsty. After lunch, Lucy, Paula and I were in the living room, reading: Paula on her laptop for college, Lucy a true story on her Kindle and I was reading a paperback thriller. I asked Stevie if he would join us, but he said he hadn’t finished his homework yet. He finally joined us for dinner and then in the evening came to watch a television programme, but only for fifteen minutes and was very quiet. After he’d left the room Lucy said exactly what I’d been thinking: ‘What’s the matter with him?’

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