A Sea of Stars. Kate Maryon

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СКАЧАТЬ I think she doesn’t get that it’s been hard for me too.

      When we’ve finished tea, Anna and I rush to the bay. My mum hates it when we go alone, but Anna’s mum trusts us. Anyway, Anna’s little sister, Evie, has an earache so her mum has to stay home with her. I feel a bit nervous, like my mum’s big eyes are somehow watching from way above me in the sky, like she can see that we’re alone.

      Surfing is my best thing ever and today the sea is amazing. It’s so sparkling and clear that we can see little fish darting under our boards like silver streaks of lightning. It’s hard to explain what surfing really feels like, but close your eyes and just imagine that the rest of the world has disappeared. Imagine that nothing else exists or matters except you with your arms stretched wide, flying on top of a tumbling, unstoppable wave. An amazing white horse, with froth fizzing around your feet and the salt on your lips and the sun melting your face into bliss. Imagine surfing through blue, blue sky, through fluffy white clouds with the wind in your hair, to heaven and far beyond. Imagine being the wildest and freest girl alive, then times that feeling by a trillion and you might start to get what I mean. Dad says I must have salt water in my veins because I love the sea so much. The truth is, surfing’s the only time I feel free.

      Anna and I surf until our arms and legs ache so much they almost drop off. Then we play mermaids. We swish around in the waves and clap and sing, “A sailor went to sea, sea, sea, to see what he could see, see, see, but all that he could see, see, see, was the bottom of the deep blue sea, sea, sea,” about a thousand times. Then Luca paddles up and starts splashing us like crazy.

      “Are you gonna enter the surf competition at the end of the holidays, Luca?” I ask, when the splashing has stopped.

      “Dunno,” he says. “Dad won’t say when we’re going back to California. I like it here; it’s totally cool.” He smiles, his eyes bright sapphires in the sun. “Paddle battle?”

      So we have this amazing paddle battle and then Anna and I gang up on Luca and we splash and splash until he holds his hands up in surrender. It’s funny to think that Gus from the Surf Shack Café is Luca’s actual uncle, especially when they sound so different. Luca’s Californian accent makes Anna and me laugh so much I’m scared my sides will split or I’ll pee my wetsuit and turn the entire sea yellow. And for a while I forget all about Cat and the adoption and Mum finding out we’re alone because everything fades away.

      Then I spot Mum and Dad clambering down the cliff, waving their arms like mad.

      “She’s perfect, Maya!” shouts Mum, smiling and racing towards me. “Absolutely perfect! You’re going to love her, I know it!”

      “And she’s so excited to meet you, sweetheart,” says Dad, folding me into a big papa-bear hug. “We’ve got great plans for tomorrow!”

      “You must be so excited!” squeals Mum, dancing on the sand.

      I nod and tug my lips up into a smile, but I don’t truly feel it inside. My head starts clanging with worries, my tummy starts whirring and churning again and the rope twists tight. Mum goes on and on about Cat so much she doesn’t notice Anna and I are alone; she doesn’t even notice I’ve been surfing without a grown-up watching. You’d think I’d be pleased about it, but somehow it feels like she doesn’t care. And deep, deep down at the bottom of my heart, I wish Mum had never found the article on adoption. I wish we could change our minds.

      

      “Huuurrrrrry up, Mayyyyya!” sings Mum, like an opera singer the next morning. “We don’t want to be late for Caaaaat.”

      I don’t remember Mum ever being this cheerful. It’s as if someone has filled her up with flowers and sunshine and light and they’re bursting out of her. I’m hurrying as fast as I can, which isn’t very fast because the damselflies have multiplied since breakfast. They’re whirring and fluttering so much it’s impossible to calm down.

      I can’t decide what to wear. I’ve tried ten things on already, but nothing looks right and my hair’s gone stupid too. Every time I try to brush it straight it flies everywhere like it has an entire life of its own. I wish it was as shiny as Cat’s, or hung down all chunky like hers. I wish it was a better colour, either black or blonde or red, not just wispy rabbit brown.

      Mum’s been going on all morning. She keeps saying Cat this and Cat that and I wish she’d just shut up. The thought of meeting Cat is making my palms feel sticky. It’s different from when we went to pick up Peaches Paradise. She was just a tiny kitten and that was exciting; I was over the moon. And it’s different from starting school or learning to surf for the first time on my own. It’s different from anything I’ve ever done before. Eventually I have to give up worrying about clothes because Mum keeps on telling me it’s time to go. So I throw on my new jeans, a white top and my flowery Converse. I look OK, but I’m so nervous my fingers keep slipping on my laces. I’m scared I’m going to sick my breakfast all over the floor.

      Dad’s already waiting in the car. He starts honking the horn like crazy. He’s singing along, really loudly, to some old Bob Dylan song on the radio and he’s so smiley, if you were passing our house you’d think he was about to go on holiday for a year.

      My insides are juddering.

      “Remember, Maya,” says Mum, when we’re doing up our seat belts, “we mustn’t overwhelm Cat with too much information. She’s nervous and a bit shy, which means we need to give her lots of time and space. This is a big day for her, having all of us together – a massive step. We need to be gentle.”

      “Let’s keep it simple,” says Dad, turning Bob Dylan down, “then build up slowly to when we bring her home in a few days time.”

      “I do know that!” I snap, feeling really annoyed. “You’ve told me a million times before, you don’t have to keep saying it. I’m not stupid!”

      My heart is blazing and the damselflies are whirring sick burps up to my throat. I swallow hard to push them down and wish my mum and dad wouldn’t talk to me like I was a stupid five-year-old.

      I wanted to feel happy today. I wanted to be excited about getting a sister and now it’s all gone wrong. I turn the little parcel I got her in my hands. It’s wrapped up in silver paper with pink ribbons. It’s hard choosing a present for someone you’ve never met before and I’m scared Cat won’t like it. I glare at Mum and kick the back of her car seat – not hard, but hard enough for her to glare back at me and sigh.

      “Maya, sweetheart,” she says, “this is supposed to be an exciting day. Let’s not spoil it with bad tempers.”

      She looks at her watch then tells Dad to pull over at the Surf Shack Café.

      “We’ve got plenty of time,” she says. “Let’s stop for a quick coffee so we can all calm down.”

      I’d like to tell Mum that I’m only all calmed up because she’s treating me like I’m five! I know this is a big deal for Cat, but it’s a big deal for me too. My mum should know that, she’s read enough leaflets on adoption and she’s been to enough meetings and support groups. She’s even got all these friends on Facebook who’ve adopted children too. And I’ve got no one. All my worries just buzz around my brain searching for somewhere to rest. I’ve never met my new sister before, either!

      Dad pulls over and parks next to a pale blue and white VW СКАЧАТЬ