A Girl Can Dream. Anne Bennett

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СКАЧАТЬ it went on, but I never went looking for it.’

      ‘But you did nothing to stop it once you did see what was happening,’ Meg said. ‘How could you, Daddy? Mom has been dead only just over eighteen months.’

      ‘There isn’t a timescale on these things, Meg.’

      ‘Then there blooming well ought to be,’ Meg burst out. Even recognising her father’s lonely state, she felt such pain at what she saw as his betrayal, and knowing how powerless she was to change the situation, she lashed out. ‘Just what sort of father are you? You knew Mom was risking her life to carry another child and she died giving birth to the child of that union, a child that you then refused to have anything to do with. Little Ruth will grow up without the love of a father or a mother, but it isn’t her fault that Mom died. And now, when she is barely cold, you are seeking to replace her.’

      Charlie stared at her. ‘I will forgive you for your outburst,’ he said. ‘I can see you’re extremely upset.’

      Meg could feel a pulse beating in her head as white-hot fury filled her body and she screamed, ‘I am not upset, I’m bloody angry. Do you think you are the only one that’s lonely? There isn’t a day goes by when I don’t miss Mom and wish she was here, and I am very lonely at times, too, but all you care about is your bloody self.’

      Charlie was taken aback by his daughter’s vehemence but tried for a conciliatory tone. ‘I did it for you, too, if you would only see that.’

      ‘Oh, don’t make me laugh,’ Meg said. ‘You did it for you. The rest of us don’t matter.’

      ‘You do matter,’ Charles insisted. ‘But Doris will be here to see to the children now and that means that you can have a life of your own.’

      Meg’s head was whirring. ‘She knows about us then, this Doris?’

      ‘She knows that I am a widower and that I have children,’ Charlie said, and added a little nervously, ‘I didn’t tell her how many. Didn’t want to scare her off. After all, she isn’t that used to children.’

      ‘So how do you know she’ll take us all on?’

      ‘If she marries me, of course she’ll take you on,’ Charlie said. ‘It’s a wife’s duty.’

      Meg knew how traditional her father’s views were. He would expect his wife to get up before him in the morning, make him breakfast, pack up his sandwiches, keep house all day and be there when he got in after work with a hot meal on the table. ‘What if she really likes her job and doesn’t want to give it up?’ Meg asked. ‘Or really can’t cope with the house and kids and that?’

      ‘Meg,’ Charlie said, ‘Doris is a lonely woman who I’m sure wants to be married and I am willing to marry her. I don’t know if I love her like I did your mother, but I am fond of her. She will be grateful to have another crack at marriage and will give her job up without a qualm when we wed. And of course she’ll cope. She is a woman, and caring for husband, children and a house is what women are born to do.’

      Meg knew her father really believed that. She gave a sigh and realised how bone-weary she must look when her father said, ‘Why don’t you go up to bed now, Meg? We have talked enough for one night.’

      However, once in her room, sleep eluded her; she was too agitated to relax enough just to let go and drift off. She knew the children would have to be told about Doris. They might easily see her as an interloper, and while Meg wouldn’t blame them, for their sake she would have to help them accept the inevitable. She tossed and turned as she rehearsed what she would say, eventually falling into a fitful sleep that was filled with lurid nightmares.

      Meg decided the children had been in the dark long enough so she told them all together the following morning as they sat having breakfast after Charlie had gone to work.

      There was a howl of anguish from Billy at the news. Ruth, sitting on Meg’s knee, turned startled eyes on her young brother as he blurted out, ‘I don’t want no new mother. We got you, ain’t we?’

      ‘I don’t want one either,’ Terry said.

      Meg knew it was up to her to get the children to feel at least more positive about the woman, because if their father decided to marry her, they would have no choice in the matter. ‘Now come on,’ she said. ‘You haven’t given the woman a chance. You have never even met her.’

      ‘And whose fault is that?’ Terry said. ‘We never even knew about her till now.’

      Sally burst into tears as Billy said mutinously, ‘Anyway, I don’t want to meet her.’

      Sally scrubbed at her eyes with the edge of her cardigan and said, ‘Nor me. I don’t want someone to come in and try and be our mom. We had a mom and now we have you and I don’t want no one else.’

      Meg sighed as Ruth, picking up the atmosphere in the room, began to grizzle, and as she cuddled her she said, ‘Now you’ve upset Ruth with your goings-on. You must all realise that if Daddy wants to marry this woman then he will, and none of us can do anything about it.’ She looked at the woebegone faces of her brothers and sisters and felt for them, but it was doing them no favours letting them feel that they could influence their father in any way.

      ‘Don’t know why he wants another wife anyway,’ Terry said. ‘We’re all right as we are, aren’t we?’

      ‘Daddy obviously isn’t.’

      ‘Didn’t he love our mom?’ Jenny asked.

      ‘He did,’ Meg said emphatically. ‘You know he did. I think maybe he’s lonely.’

      ‘How could he be lonely when he has us?’ Sally asked.

      ‘It’s a different kind of loneliness when you an adult,’ Meg said, ‘and I know Daddy feels sorry for this Doris, because he told me so.’

      ‘Feels sorry for her?’ Terry repeated. ‘You don’t marry someone because you feel sorry for them.’

      ‘Oh, I should imagine there’s more to it than that,’ Meg said. ‘And really you can’t help feeling sorry for her because she’s completely alone. Her first husband is dead, and their parents, they had no brothers or sisters and she had no children of her own. You must admit that’s sad.’

      ‘Yeah, I suppose.’

      ‘And added to that, she knows very few people here,’ Meg went on. ‘She comes from Yorkshire but was sent here to sew parachutes like Aunt Rosie.’

      ‘Where did Daddy meet her?’

      ‘In the Swan.’

      Jenny’s eyes opened wide. ‘Was she on her own?’

      ‘I think there were two of them.’

      ‘Mom said she thought women who went to the pub on their own like that were no better than they should be. I heard her telling May one day,’ Jenny said.

      ‘You shouldn’t have been listening.’

      ‘I couldn’t help it,’ Jenny cried. ‘Anyway, that’s what she said. D’you think that?’

      Meg СКАЧАТЬ