Close Your Eyes. Amanda Eyre Ward
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Название: Close Your Eyes
Автор: Amanda Eyre Ward
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Современная зарубежная литература
isbn: 9780007352050
isbn:
When the chocolate was gone, I didn’t want to depart. As I folded the foil in my fingers, Gerry told me he had grown up in Tokyo: his parents were both teachers at the International School. He was working as a sushi chef to put himself through a computer science degree at UT, and though Now and Zen catered mainly to students and college grads on a shoestring budget (like me), Gerry liked to play around with the fish, serving ‘specials’ to customers who seemed interested. He kept his textbooks in the kitchen and studied when things were slow.
‘Why computer science?’ I asked him. ‘You don’t seem like a . . . nerd.’ I slurped my cocktail. My face felt warm, and I was smiling too much.
‘I thought about trying to work in food or entertainment,’ he said, leaning on the polished counter, ‘but I guess I never felt safe financially while I was growing up. I’m good at computer science. And I want to make a steady living, so I can eat well, travel, you know . . . wine and dine my wife.’
‘Wife?’ I said. I made a sound between a choke and a giggle.
‘I mean my future wife,’ said Gerry. There was a pause as we looked at each other. I felt my damn mouth curling up again. I reached for my glass of ice water. ‘Would you like to . . . do you want to . . . have lunch or brunch this weekend?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ I said. I wrote my number on his hand and felt the inexplicable urge to press my lips against his palm. Thankfully, I refrained.
I walked home that night filled with a giddy happiness. I’d had boyfriends but had never felt so electric. Though he was from another part of the world, Gerry seemed just like me, someone burdened by unnecessary responsibility. There was something to be said for precaution, and I felt that Gerry understood this. For the first time in my life, I thought it might be possible for me to share my life, to feel that kind of exquisite joy. I was so happy, and so frightened.
Chapter 8
‘Lauren?’ said Jane Stafford.
‘Yes?’ I said.
‘Are you all right?’ Jane tilted her head to the right, causing her glossy hair to fall across her cheekbone.
‘We met at a sushi restaurant,’ I said, ‘Gerry and me. And I. Gerry and I.’ She smiled, expectant. When I said nothing more, she commented, ‘That sounds nice.’
‘Yeah,’ I said.
‘How long ago was this?’ said Jane. She held a cheap Bic ball-point, a pad in her lap. I felt alarmed, wondering what she would write down, how she would distill me into sentences.
‘I don’t know,’ I said. She peered at me questioningly. I stared at her large brown eyes, and the room grew hazy.
‘I love him,’ I whispered, a familiar dread rising in my chest, making me feel feverish. ‘I’m really hot.’
‘You feel hot?’
‘Yes,’ I said. Jane was intent, looking at me through what seemed to be a room of smoke. I cleared my throat and tried to shake it off. ‘I’m very dizzy,’ I said.
‘You’re feeling anxious?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘And I’m feeling really hot.’
‘Breathe,’ said Jane. ‘How else do you feel?’
I took a deep inhalation, but the woozy feeling remained. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ I said.
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