Freya North 3-Book Collection: Love Rules, Home Truths, Pillow Talk. Freya North

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СКАЧАТЬ told me she was 16 – and other nightmare scenarios

       Wear it, hear it, read it, see it – cutting edge and lead the pack

      All the news-stands at Heathrow Airport were awash with the anniversary issue of Adam. Because Alice hadn’t been able to justify a trip to New York for the Bowie shoot and because Mark himself had stayed longer than anticipated in the States, he was whisking his wife off to Marbella for the weekend as a consolation prize, a gesture. And also, a celebration – he’d finally secured the Gerber–Klein deal. He’d propped her passport and plane ticket against her toothbrush when he’d left early for work.

      Mark picked up a copy of Adam and bought it. Alice looked puzzled. ‘I bring copies home, Mark.’

      ‘Ah, but I want the pleasure of buying my own. Anyone who’s anyone buys Adam,’ Mark said sweetly, ‘it’s the ultimate accessory. Anyway, a little subliminal marketing never goes amiss – I can always tuck my copy of the Economist inside the cover.’

      Alice smiled and went in search of a paperback. She needed a break. They both did.

      ADAM

       July, Issue 14

       Tour de France cover

       Superhumans or simple junkies – peddling and pedalling with the peloton

       The porn star, the housewife, the sex therapist – three women set you homework

       Beach buff – crash course to boost confidence and tone

       Next year, we’ll be mostly wearing … the fashion industry laid bare

       I earn, I live, I’m broke – stretch it without feeling the pinch

       The best – and worst – jobs in the world

       The house that Jack built – self-build successes … and nightmares

       Win! £50,000 of watches waiting

      ADAM

       August, Issue 15

       Double cover: David Bowie/Iman

       Beautiful couple – Mr and Mrs Bowie, as good as it gets

       A shark ate my homework … and my arm – facing near-death with a sense of humour

       All buy yourself – online investing made simple

       Cooking – have her begging for more

       I’m 30 and I know I’ll never have sex again

       Liam Gallagher, icon or scally?

       Property – buy or rent, sell or let?

       Scrutinized! New releases – buy it, or don’t. Trust us

      Alice and Thea were concentrating on Sally’s abdomen. Sally sighed and poked herself in different spots. They all stared for a while longer. She stood, shifted around, sat down heavily and placed her palms all over her bump. ‘Perform – or I’ll dock your pocket money!’ Sally growled at her belly.

      ‘Was that something?’ Thea gasped.

      ‘No,’ Sally said. ‘But that is! Quick, give me your hands!’

      Thea and Alice had their hands against Sally’s stomach and stayed that way for quite some time to no avail. ‘I know, I’ll eat some pickled onion crisps – that usually has the wriglet cartwheeling.’ But she’d eaten her way through an industrial supply recently and there were no packets left.

      ‘Let’s do the ring test,’ Alice suggested. ‘Sally, give me your wedding ring – and Thea, let me have your necklace. Then we dangle it over Sally’s bump and if it swings back and forth, it’s a boy. Circles – and it’s a girl.’

      ‘Oh, my God, it’s twins!’ Thea declared as the ring swung this way and that.

      ‘Flatulence, more like,’ laughed Sally.

      Alice took the necklace from Thea. ‘Seriously,’ she said with a face so straight the other two laughed, ‘it works – my grandma told me.’

      ‘Your grandma also told you if you ate your crusts your hair would curl,’ Thea reminisced, ‘but despite living on toast you still had to resort to that terrifying perm when you were sixteen.’

      ‘Shut up,’ Alice said, ‘watch – the ring is going round and round. You’re having a girl. Oh. Hang on. No, it’s not. What’s it doing now? It’s a boy.’

      Soon enough, they were swinging the ring over the cat (who was male, according to the ring, though her kittens born two years previously would seem to disprove it), a picture of Prince Charles on the Radio Times (‘Boy!’ Alice proclaimed triumphantly) and Richard’s shoes (‘Boy! See!’ Alice laughed). Even the floorboards had gender according to the swing of the ring.

      ‘When are you and Mark going to breed?’ Sally asked Alice, telling herself not to panic that the ring didn’t appear to move at all when she dangled it.

      Alice took the ring and assessed the sex of a cushion tucked up Thea’s jumper. ‘I don’t know,’ she said cautiously, ‘I mean, when we were engaged we’d talk dreamily of babies and sandpits and Winnie-the-Pooh. When we bought the house we allocated “kids’ rooms”. But actually, we haven’t mentioned it.’

      ‘There again, I’ve been married to Richard for nearly seven years,’ Sally said, ‘and you two are still pretty much newly-weds.’

      ‘Coming up to two years, actually,’ Alice corrected. She gave Sally back her ring and hooked Thea’s necklace around her neck. ‘I guess I don’t feel ready. I guess Adam’s been my baby. I guess you have to have sex to conceive and my husband is invariably in a different time zone and continent to me.’

      ‘Mark would make a lovely father,’ Sally projected. ‘How about you and Saul, Thea?’

      ‘Us?’ Thea said, looking up from a pregnancy magazine. ‘We’re not even living together, let alone married.’ Her glum pout surprised Alice.

      ‘But you’ve been together for ages,’ Sally declared.

      Thea shrugged.

      ‘You’re not waiting for him to ask, are you?’ Sally probed, as if the notion was so old-fashioned as to be far-fetched.

      Thea shrugged again.

      ‘Ever the romantic, our Thea,’ Alice said fondly, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.

      ‘So?’ said Thea, resolutely.

      ADAM

       September, Issue 16

       Willem СКАЧАТЬ