Hopes and Fears or, scenes from the life of a spinster. Yonge Charlotte Mary

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СКАЧАТЬ and finding him absent, walked over sundry fields in a vain search for Brooks.  Rain came on so violently as to wet her considerably, and to her exceeding mortification, she was obliged to relinquish her superintendence, either in person or by deputy.

      However, when she awoke early and saw the sun laughing through the shining drops, she decided on going down ere the curious world was astir, to see what had been done.  It was not far from six, when she let herself out at the porch, and very like a morning with Humfrey, with the tremulous glistening of every spray, and the steamy fragrance rising wherever the sun touched the grass, that seemed almost to grow visibly.  The woods were ringing with the song of birds, circle beyond circle, and there was something in the exuberant merriment of those blackbirds and thrushes that would not let her be sad, though they had been Humfrey’s special glory.  The thought of such pleasures did not seem out of keeping.  The lane was overhung with bushes; the banks, a whole wealth of ferns, climbing plants, tall grasses, and nettles, had not yet felt the sun and were dank and dreary, so she hurried on, and arriving at the clerk’s door, knocked and opened.  He was gone to his work, and sounds above showed the wife to be engaged on the toilette of the younger branches.  She called out that she had come for the keys of the church, and seeing them on the dresser, abstracted them, bidding the good woman give herself no trouble.

      She paused under the porch, and ere fitting the heavy key to the lock, felt that strange pressure and emotion of the heart that even if it be sorrow is also an exquisite sensation.  If it were mournful that the one last office she could render to Humfrey was over, it was precious to her to be the only one who had a right to pay it, the one whom he had loved best upon earth, round whom she liked to believe that he still might be often hovering—whom he might welcome by and by.  Here was the place for communion with him, the spot which had, indeed, been to him none other than the gate of Heaven.

      Yet, will it be believed?  Not one look did Honora cast at Humfrey Charlecote’s monument that morning.

      With both hands she turned the reluctant bolts of the lock, and pushed open the nail-studded door.  She slowly advanced along the uneven floor of the aisle, and had just reached the chancel arch, when something suddenly stirred, making her start violently.  It was still, and after a pause she again advanced, but her heart gave a sudden throb, and a strange chill of awe rushed over her as she beheld a little white face over the altar rail, the chin resting on a pair of folded hands, the dark eyes fixed in a strange, dreamy, spiritual expression of awe.

      The shock was but for a moment, the next the blood rallied to her heart, and she told herself that Humfrey would say, that either the state of her spirits had produced an illusion, or else that some child had been left here by accident.  She advanced, but as she did so the two hands were stretched out and locked together as in an agony, and the childish, feeble voice cried out, ‘Oh! if you’re an angel, please don’t frighten me; I’ll be very good.’

      Honora was in a pale, soft, gray dress, that caught the light in a rosy glow from the east window, and her golden hair was hanging in radiant masses beneath her straw bonnet, but she could not appreciate the angelic impression she made on the child, who had been tried so long by such a captivity.  ‘My poor child,’ she said, ‘I am no angel; I am only Miss Charlecote.  I’m afraid you have been shut up here;’ and, coming nearer, she perceived that it was a boy of about seven years old, well dressed, though his garments were disordered.  He stood up as she came near, but he was trembling all over, and as she drew him into her bosom, and put her arms round him, she found him quivering with icy cold.

      ‘Poor little fellow,’ she said, rocking him, as she sat on the step and folded her shawl round him, ‘have you been here all night?  How cold you are; I must take you home, my dear.  What is your name?’

      ‘I’m Robert Mervyn Fulmort,’ said the little boy, clinging to her.  ‘We came in to see Mr. Charlecote’s monument put up, and I suppose they forgot me.  I waked up, and everybody was gone, and the door was locked.  Oh! please,’ he gasped, ‘take me out.  I don’t want to cry.’

      She thought it best to take him at once into the cheerful sunlight, but it did not yet yield the warmth that he needed; and all her soothing words could not check the nervous tremor, though he held her so tight that it seemed as if he would never let her go.

      ‘You shall come home with me, my dear little boy; you shall have some breakfast, and then I will take you safe home to Beauchamp.’

      ‘Oh, if you please!’ said the boy, gratefully.

      Exercise was thawing his numbed limbs, and his eyes brightened.

      ‘Whom were you with?’ she asked.  ‘Who could have forgotten you?’

      ‘I came with Lieschen and nurse and the babies.  The others went out with Mademoiselle.’

      ‘And you went to sleep?’

      ‘Yes; I liked to see the mason go chip, chip, and I wanted to see them fit the thing in.  I got into that great pew, to see better; and I made myself a nest, but at last they were all gone.’

      ‘And what did you do, then?  Were you afraid?’

      ‘I didn’t know what to do.  I ran all about to see if I could look out at a window, but I couldn’t.’

      ‘Did you try to call?’

      ‘Wouldn’t it have been naughty?’ said the boy; and then with an impulse of honest truthfulness, ‘I did try once; but do you know, there was another voice came back again, and I thought that die Geistern wachten sich auf.’

      ‘The what?’

      ‘Die Geistern das Lieschen sagt in die Gewolben wohnen,’ said little Robert, evidently quite unconscious whether he spoke German or English.

      ‘So you could not call for the echo.  Well, did you not think of the bells?’

      ‘Yes; but, oh! the door was shut; and then, I’ll tell you—but don’t tell Mervyn—I did cry.’

      ‘Indeed, I don’t wonder.  It must have been very lonely.’

      ‘I didn’t like it,’ said Robert, shivering; and getting to his German again, he described ‘das Gewitter’ beating on the panes, with wind and whirling leaves, and the unearthly noises of the creaking vane.  The terror of the lonely, supperless child was dreadful to think of; and she begged to know what he could have done as it grew dark.

      ‘I got to Mr. Charlecote,’ said Robert—an answer that thrilled her all over.  ‘I said I’d be always very good, if he would take care of me, and not let them frighten me.  And so I did go to sleep.’

      ‘I’m sure Mr. Charlecote would, my dear little man,’ began Honora, then checked by remembering what he would have said.  ‘But didn’t you think of One more sure to take care of you than Mr. Charlecote?’

      ‘Lieschen talks of der Lieber Gott,’ said the little boy.  ‘We said our prayers in the nursery, but Mervyn says only babies do.’

      ‘Mervyn is terribly wrong, then,’ said Honora, shuddering.  ‘Oh! Robert, Mr. Charlecote never got up nor went to bed without asking the good God to take care of him, and make him good.’

      ‘Was that why he was so good?’ asked Robert.

      ‘Indeed it was,’ said she, fervently; ‘nobody can be good without it.  I hope my little friend will never miss his prayers again, for they are the only way to be manly and afraid of nothing but doing wrong, as he was.’

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