You: Being Beautiful: The Owner’s Manual to Inner and Outer Beauty. Michael Roizen F.

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      If our ancestors could see us now. They used their teeth for two things and two things only: one, to shred their fire-cooked meat and feast like the hungry warriors they were. And two, as a last line of personal defense, biting off attackers’ ears and noses. Us? Oh, let’s see. We use our teeth for such vital tasks as whittling toenails, tearing open cellophane wrappers, and carrying bags when you have kids in both arms.

      It’s not that we don’t appreciate our own meat cutters. It’s just that the invention of such things as knives and fruit smoothies has shifted our priorities. Our teeth and mouths aren’t quite as essential for survival as they used to be, yet they’re still critical to our happiness. The mouth serves as our entrance portal for food and our exit shaft for words, songs, laughter, gas, and salmonella. That’s not even mentioning the fringe functions: Mouths allow us to kiss babies, taste falling snow, bite in self-defense, and earn elite status as a sexual dynamo. For your purposes here, however, it’s important to note that your mouth is more than a mere functional tool; it’s a key indicator of your vitality, your beauty, and even your ability to get a good job and spouse.

      Your teeth, in addition to helping with a wide range of tasks and with chewing, are also a very clear marker of your health. If your gums are inflamed, your teeth are falling out, or your teeth are getting ground like fresh pepper from wear and tear, those problems can affect and reflect the health and beauty of your entire body.

      As part of your smile, your teeth serve as one of your main markers for beauty. Together, your teeth and mouth act as a stage: You want that stage to be bright, white, and well lit. Though there’s no direct correlation, the common perception is that our oral appearance is linked to our cerebral powers. How? We equate snow-white teeth with high-powered brains. Just add a set of Bubba teeth to your mouth. Not only will you scare off neighborhood kids, your perceived IQ will immediately drop 20 points (and your real IQ will fade, too, due to gum inflammation).

      YOU Test

      Check the insides of your cheeks for a small, whitish ridge running parallel to the biting surface of the teeth. If you have that line, it likely means you’re a grinder, and on a subconscious level you use your cheek to keep the teeth from touching.

      Your Mouth: Beauty Markers

      On the surface, it would seem that mouths are as nondescript as file cabinets—they all look about the same. But if you think about it a bit more, you’ll realize that mouths are much more like fingerprints or eyes—on the surface they are similar, but the difference is in the details. Think of how mouths convey emotions—a smile at a lover’s gaze, a frown at a lover’s propensity to adore remote controls, a gasp, bewilderment, anger, or the inner happiness that you can’t hide. And that’s not even taking into consideration that lips come in all shapes and sizes. There are thin ones and plump, full, juicy ones. So it should be no wonder that your mouth is a messenger in many ways.

      Plastic surgeons have pored over thousands of pictures of beautiful men and women to come up with the perfectly proportioned mouth (tough work, but someone’s got to do it), and this is what they’ve found. Rulers ready?