Doubts From The Past. Antonio De Vito

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      “Harry today is a really weird fucking day. You really do know your wines. What do you recommend in this case?”

      It's written on your face that it’s not a great day, but a good Italian red wine will make it much better.”

      Harry knew Sam for a long time and knew his favorite flavors. He also knew that there was no fucking day in the world for Sam that a nice glass of Italian red wine couldn’t beat.

      “Give me the best you have in the cellar because for a while you won’t see me around.”

      “Hey, what do you do? You’re leaving and you’re telling me this with that face?”, in the meantime Harry was pouring some Red Lacrima Christi.

      “I’m leaving alone.”

      “After all, it could also be good news. But why are you leaving?” Harry said quite incredulous at the news that Stacie was not going with Sam.

      “I don’t know, but here I can no longer stay”. And he drank again.

      It was nighttime when he left the club and he was the last client. He walked straight ahead, after all, but Harry would not have bet a penny. Outside there was a taxi waiting for him; Harry had taken care to call him and also to pay it in name of the old friendship with Sam.

      “To the airport!” It was the only thing Sam could say before of closing his eyes and rest his head backward.

      

       -2-

      Stacie grabbed the note stuck to the mirror and moments later her black eyes were clouded with tears that she could not hold back for the fact that once again Sam had more courage than her.

      Yes, whereas for weeks Stacie kept wondering whether it was right to continue to drag the story that way, Sam instantly had decided to up and leave.

      She had to sit down to try to tidy up the ideas that appeared confused like never before. All the certainties she had in her brain were crumbling like a sand castle.

      Sam was not what it looked like, a weak man dominated by his indecision and fears. After all he had not thought a second before doing his suitcase and dumping her there alone in front of a note.

      “I better get a move on,

      Sam”.

      Suddenly the sound of a telephone took Stacie’s petrified eyes off that note and almost running she rushed to the mobile to grab the phone.

      “Hey, Stacie, are you all right? It’s all OK?”

      “Mark, are you?” She had not even looked at the clock because of anxiety.

      “Yes, who did you want to be? Don’t you know what time it is?”

      “Sorry, I slept through my alarm, I’ll be soon, you’ll see” and she hung up.

      But despite the call which should give Stacie a move on, she remained at least another half hour staring at that note while a confused series of images were flashing before her eyes and she was feeling mixed sensations of anger and remorse.

      She tried to shake off the ballast and, wearing the first things she had found, she headed the office where Mark was waiting for her furious.

      “This is not the way to repay those who gave you an opportunity like the one I gave you,” Mark thundered, slamming his fists on the table.

      “I know I’m a little late but you know that’s not me” Stacie tried to justify herself.

      “A little late!!!I am astonished. An hour ago the Bigalow hearing has begun and I had to send Peter who does not even know who is Bigalow!” Mark was beside himself.

      Stacie tried to pull herself together and managed to say a sentence worthy of the attorney Stacie Scott that Mark had hired two years earlier:

      “I reach him in court, in any case it was a cause already won, don’t worry.”

      She had managed to lie with all her might, however, giving to who stood facing her the feeling to have matters into her own hands. That was her greatest quality, or she thought this until a few hours earlier, that is, until Sam's note started poking holes in all her certainties.

      Sam arrived at the airport a little dormant but convinced of what he was doing. He had brought with him a few things, only the need for a day trip and not more. This meant that whatever had been the destination he had chosen it would have been one way. At the airport he took a look at the destinations of the the red-eye flights and decided to buy a ticket to New York, for no reason in particular.

      Or maybe there was a reason to go to New York. Do what Stacie had not yet been able to do and maybe, who knows when, show her that he could live up to her and perhaps one day meet her again.

      It would be worth doing almost 500 miles. He felt that the decision was fairer than ever.

      The next day Sam was around New York: Park Avenue, Madison Avenue; after all, he thought, it hasn't been so hard. The best, however, was yet to come. Sam’s main anguish was about to reappear in his mind.

      “Get a move on”

      He kept telling himself like a Hail Mary.

      He walked down Madison Av., looking around with a bewildered air, given the wild crowd on the sidewalks; he could not find a good reason for being so urgent to reach a taxi or subway stop. Yet, one of the reasons why Sam had left Cleveland and now he was right there in the midst of those people who barely avoided him, as if it were a simple obstacle on the road to whom to be careful not to trip, was to measure himself and find out for itself if he could withstand the lifestyle that Stacie loved and which she was so much aiming for.

      Why a man should measure himself within an organized chaos like New York and cannot do it in Cleveland or anywhere else in the world, this was another torment that Sam was dragging on since the first angry discussions with Stacie. Unfortunately, the sense of frustration that Stacie was instilling in him ordered him to react that way, even though in his heart he was not entirely convinced it was the right way. After all he could not be convinced that leaving Stacie after seven years of passion could be the right choice, no matter what was the real reason for that choice.

      While these and other thoughts overlapped in Sam's head, one of the many people who at 8am crowded the sidewalks of Madison Av. bumped into Sam causing him to fall on his knee. He had to stand with his left hand to the ground to avoid falling ruinously. The person who "invested” him, was a beautiful young girl in her 20s, with brown long hair. Unlike Sam, after the impact she had turned on herself and had fallen ruinously on the ground letting fly a bunch of sheets.

      While Sam was getting up slowly and tried to figure out who had hit him, the girl was trying to get up with difficulty amid general indifference.

      Sam then held her by the arm and said:

      “I'll help you to collect those papers but then you tell me why you are СКАЧАТЬ