Red Shadows. Gaby Crumb

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      «Sean, come on, man, what the fuck? You're not even listening to me.»

      I stared at him.

      «Are we making the right choice, Cam?», I asked thoughtful.

      «We're doing the only possible one, Sean. Why suddenly do you have doubts? You've convinced us to do this thing and now, what? You don’t want to do that?»

      «No, I am good. I was just thinking. Will you tell Ash?», I asked him without looking him in the eyes.

      «No, I will not do it. I want him out of this, Sean, I want him out of this life. I want that he studies, he is smart and deserves a better life than the one we lived after the death of our parents. I do not want he spend his time angry. I want him to find someone and built a life out of this shit.»

      I nodded. I agreed. I also wanted the same things for Ash. Even if I wanted him in every way and I wanted him for myself, that does not change the fact that he should have had a different life from the one he could find staying in the neighborhood.

      «Today he turns eighteen. He told me he is gay, you know it?»

      «It seems to me that he did not hide it from you.»

      «He said that he had doubts, then last week he told me that his doubts were over. That little shit ... I asked him how could he be sure and do you know what he answered? That when you k off thinking only about a man there was not much room for doubt.»

      We both laughed. Cam was absolutely straight and he knew about my bisexuality. It was the first one to whom I had said it and he didn’t care. When I told the others, I discovered not to be the only one to be attracted to men. That day we had all taken a colossal hangover, some of us were celebrating having had the courage to come out and toasted the others because there would be more women for them, because when you said to be bisexual you ended up to ninety percent fall in love with a man. Cameron was absolutely convinced of that.

      «You know that, when he’ll suffer for a guy I will send him straight to you. I do not know what to tell him and would end up shooting at that dick who will mess up with my brother. You're usually more friendly.»

      I almost choked with the beer I was drinking and I decided it was time to change the subject because the memory of the day before with Ash, naked in my bed, did not want to leave me alone.

      «Come on, that's enough talk. Tell me about the delivery. Was he there?»

      «Yes, he was with us all the time. The trip was also fun. He and Connor get caught all the time. We delivered the goods and everything went well. Ryan took the money. We throw the bait, Sean.»

      «Now we wait for him to take a bite. While you were away, Axel had a little problem with The Bulldog. The bastards shot him and hit Colin, I used an entire bottle of whiskey to convince him not to go into their territory and try to take them all out. I think those bastards are allying with the Devils. We are outnumbered Cam, we must be careful.»

      «Do you want to take new recruits?»

      «No, only Ryan will become part of the gang. We need him.»

      «How do you want to proceed?»

      «As we have always done, Cam. They have the numbers, we have the brain and now Ryan. We will not stop until even just one of those sons of bitches will be on the streets.»

      «Do you never ask yourself what our parents would say if they could see us now? A gun on that we are no longer afraid to use. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if they were still alive.»

      «They all died, Cam. Imagining how it would be cannot bring them back to life.»

      «Go and do the hard dick-head with someone else, Sean. I know you miss your parents like me and Ash miss ours. The fact that you do not allow yourself to think about them does not make it less real than the fact that you miss them.»

      I looked askance at him.

      «Have you finished, Dr. Freud?

      Cameron laughed.

      «I wonder how you've become our boss, you're such a dick sometimes.»

      «I became the chief because I am always a dick and because I am the most intelligent of you all.»

      Cameron stood up and smiled at me.

      «Sure, boss, believe it. We can meet at the King tonight, we take a beer and catch up with the others.»

      

      

      I looked at Cam going away and for a second I was tempted to stop him and tell him that I wanted his brother. Then I shook my head. Shit, that boy would make me crazy. I had to have more sex, maybe that was why I could not stop thinking about him. If I had had sex with another man, one with whom I could be without paranoia, I would have vented a bit and I would have not thought about Ash. Being with him was not possible and moreover it was ridiculous that I was so obsessed. And then, I had much else to think about.

      I grabbed the phone and called the number I had recorded only a few days before. Ryan answered at the second ring.

      «Hello!»

      «Ryan, it's Sean. I have just spoken with Cameron, and he told me that everything is ok.»

      «Yes everything is ok. We delivered the goods as agreed. Now we just wait for our friends to even notice that they were screwed. Are you ready?»

      «We will be.»

      «Well, just because the Devils will know that you have fucked up the goods and have delivered it on their behalf, will break a big mess.»

      «We had to take risks if we want to come out of the closet. Up to now they have sent on the street only the last recruits, if we want to take the big boys then we have to stand tall and create a little casino.»

      «I know, I was there when we came up with this brilliant plan, remember?»

      «I do not think I will ever forget the day when me and your boss shook hands.»

      Ryan laughed again.

      «What's it like being on the other side of the fence?»

      «In the end we were always on the same side, only with different methods», I answered to him.

      «Yeah, and that's the only reason why we are now working together. I have to go now. Do not get shot, Sean. Connor will never forgive it to you.»

      «Did I miss something between you and one of my Shadows?»

      «Not your fucking business, my friend. I'll be in contact.»

      I greeted him and put away the phone. I hated to wait.

      

      

      I was going to go home to work a little in the workshop when I saw Ash. He was with some friends, they were entering the B & B, a fast food restaurant СКАЧАТЬ