Lawless. HelenKay Dimon

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СКАЧАТЬ pretend we’ve never slept together.”

      “I never said that.”

      “You act like it.”

      “And, for the record, it was more than sex.”

      “Was it?” She asked even though she couldn’t stand to hear him dismiss their relationship as unimportant—again.

      True, they hadn’t been together in what felt like forever. She’d convinced herself she didn’t care and could move on, but seeing him made her realize how untrue that was.

      He picked a leaf off a branch that nearly whacked him in the face. “We can’t do this now.”

      The world around her barely registered. Not when this topic came up.

      She’d heard all of the excuses. They ran through her mind on constant play. They spilled out of her now before she could call them back. “This is the wrong time. I’m the wrong guy. You deserve better. My background is a mess. My job is dangerous.”

      He stopped. “Excuse me?”

      “Have you invented more reasons? I’ve heard all of those, and none of them sent me running.”

      “Wow.”

      She debated storming ahead, leaving him floundering, but refrained. Childish wasn’t the answer when what she really wanted was for him to treat her the way a woman deserved to be treated. “Imagine how I felt as you ticked off that list, or some version of it, day after day. You always had a new reason to push away and leave, but you never found one to stay.”

      “That’s not true.”

      She knew it was because she had lived it. “All those months ago I asked you to move in with me since you were basically staying there every night anyway, and you flew out of town on a business trip the next morning instead of giving me an answer.”

      “That was legitimate.”

      “Joel, come on.”

      The leaf disappeared as Joel crushed it inside his clenched fist. “Your father said you were dating again.”

      Her gaze slipped back up to his. “What?”

      “No?”

      The conversation had her mind spinning. Her dad still talked with Joel? And since when was her dating life up for discussion? Not that she really had one. She struggled through a few setups from friends and had a perfectly nice time with a guy from her climbing club.

      Handsome men, fun places and she didn’t experience so much as a spark. Not even a tiny nibble of interest.

      But that’s not where her mind went when Joel asked the question. It zoomed right to her nightmare scenario. The one where he walked away and found someone else. Where the truth turned out to be not that he wasn’t ready to make a commitment but that he didn’t want to make one to her.

      “Are you?” Two simple words, but it actually hurt her to say them.

      “I didn’t leave you so I could date other women. My decision wasn’t about being a playboy.” His voice rose and anger slipped in as he spoke.

      As if he had a right to be upset about the fallout. “Well, I guess that’s good to know.”

      Instead of standing around arguing, she headed in the direction of the helicopter. This was a waste of time and they had more important things to worry about than her broken heart.

      Joel grabbed her arm before she got more than three feet. “Hey, wait up.”

      She didn’t shake out of his grip, though she could have because his hold was more gentle than confining. Seeing the pain in his dark eyes killed off any thought of pulling back anyway.

      He closed in, bringing his body within a few breaths of hers. “You know I’m telling the truth, right?”

      “I know you had a lot of excuses. Still do.” And she couldn’t hear them again. Not and still function.

      “Hope, look...I want...”

      “What?” She heard the pleading in her voice.

      His eyes closed and when they opened again the wary expression hadn’t faded. “Maybe we should stick to finding Mark.”

      Just like that, the mood changed. Something snapped and the tension that had been building blew away.

      Because he seemed to want an out, she gave him one. Maybe a change of topic made sense. There had been so much pain and disappointment, so many tears. She needed her head in the game and her mind on Mark. “Fine. Why are we headed back to the helicopter instead of following tracks?”

      “I want to check in at work.”

      “And?” Joel’s face went blank and she wasn’t falling for it. “Oh, please. Maybe I didn’t see you walking out on me, but I do know you. Part of you, and you are fixated and worried.”

      “I didn’t leave you—”

      “Joel.”

      His hand dropped. “Okay, yes. I’m concerned.”

      “You’re admitting it?”

      “You deserve that much.” He motioned with his head for them to start walking again. “This is your job, and I think something is very wrong here.”

      The honesty flooded her with relief. “Good.”

      “Why good?”

      “Sharing even that much is a big step for you.”

      “I thought you’d be happy I left.” His voice dropped to a near whisper. “Back then, I mean.”

      The words stunned her and she stumbled. She stared at him, thinking he had to be playing a sick joke, even though that wasn’t his style. But he looked ahead, not even blinking.

      “You’ve got to be kidding.” She was about to pull him to a stop when a crack echoed through the trees. Dirt kicked up a few feet away from her, and birds swooped out of the trees in a rush.

      “Get down!” His full body smacked into her before he finished talking.

      The ground rushed up and she put out a hand to stop the free fall. Her legs twisted with his and the second before she slammed into the ground he turned them.

      Landing on his side with a grunt, he absorbed the majority of their combined body weight on his shoulder. His body bounced and she tried to move away and let him brace for impact, but he curled her body into his. Still, the jolt rattled her teeth and she heard him swear under his breath.

      She could taste dirt and feel sharp sticks jabbing into her bare legs and ripping off her bandage. Her mind finally focused and the sounds of the forest came rushing back. “Joel—”

      “Don’t move.”

      It СКАЧАТЬ