Lost Cause. Janice Johnson Kay

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      Wouldn’t that have been amazing, she marveled, not for the first time. They looked enough alike to have recognized each other if they’d come face to face.

      Well, she would have known who Carrie was in a heartbeat. Carrie, who hadn’t been told by her adoptive parents that she was adopted, might have been more confused.

      But they hadn’t met that way. Suzanne had gone seeking her, and found her just this past spring. With very few glitches, it seemed as if they’d known each other all their lives. Carrie had planned to live with Suzanne this year, while she went back to the University of Washington to get her teaching certificate. But in the end, she and Mark Kincaid, the P.I. who’d found her, had decided to marry in August, so she never had moved in.

      Suzanne was rather sorry. She’d imagined them having the year together to make up for all the ones they’d missed, with her growing up with Uncle Miles and Aunt Marie and Carrie with her adoptive parents. But at least they weren’t far apart. They talked almost every day, and did the kind of things together that sisters did, like shopping and visiting art fairs. And Suzanne was glad that Carrie was marrying Mark.

      As she did almost every day, Suzanne spared a thought for her little brother, although of course he wouldn’t be so little anymore. He was twenty-nine now. She hadn’t seen him since he was three years old. After Aunt Marie and Uncle Miles decided they could keep only one of the three orphaned children, a social worker had come to the house and taken Carrie—then Linette—and Lucien away. Carrie had been asleep, but Lucien… Standing in the middle of her front yard, Suzanne shuddered at the memory. Lucien had sobbed. Every time she thought of him, she saw his tear-wet face, framed in the car window as it pulled away from the curb.

      And she remembered with guilt her own gratitude that she wasn’t being taken away.

      When she hired him, Mark had found Lucien, too, but her brother didn’t want any contact with his sisters. Carrie had tried calling him, but he’d told her rather rudely that their overture was too little, too late.

      Suzanne was trying to resign herself to the fact that she would never see him again, never be able to give him the photo album she’d prepared with pictures of their parents and of them growing up, never be able to explain how sorry she was that she couldn’t, somehow, have kept them all together, even though she’d been only six herself when their parents had died.

      Suzanne knew that guilt was illogical; even if her mother had always said that, as the big sister, Suzanne should take care of her little sister and brother, she’d been far, far too young to influence even her own fate. But she couldn’t quite quell the nagging guilt anyway.

      Shaking off the familiar depression, she began raking, working steadily until she’d bundled the soggy heaps into plastic bags and set them at the curb for pickup. Then she settled on a knee pad to pull weeds and toss them into a bucket she moved along with her. Finally, wishing she hadn’t put off the most hateful task till last, she dumped the weeds into her garbage can and set the bucket in her garage. Oh, boy. Time to tackle the problem of heaving the blasted mower into her trunk.

      No, she could procrastinate for a second more—she’d left her trowel behind.

      She was just crossing the lawn, tool in hand, when she heard the familiar sound of her neighbor’s pickup coming down the street and a hum that presaged the rising of his garage door. She turned her head to see his huge black pickup pulling into his driveway. Maybe, if she hurried, he wouldn’t notice her out here.

      But she didn’t reach the cover of the garage in time.

      The pickup door slammed and a moment later Tom approached across the narrow strip of lawn between their houses. Maybe a few years older than her, he was powerfully built but had a face that most would call homely. All she saw was the buzz-cut hair to match his lawn, the neat polo shirt and crisply creased slacks. Suzanne never, ever, met his eyes. Not quite. She’d discovered you could talk to someone and avoid their gaze without being obvious.

      “Hi,” he said. “Putting in a day of work out here, I see.”

      “I finally got the leaves raked up.”

      “And you’re lucky. Today’s dry enough to mow.”

      Suzanne sighed. He was the last person to whom she wanted to admit defeat. “No such luck. My nemesis won’t start. I was just going to load it up to take into the shop. For the third time this year.”

      He was nice enough not to acknowledge the grimness in her tone. He rubbed his jaw. “One more mow should do it. Maybe two.”

      “Yes.” Although he would probably manicure his all winter long, whenever the weather permitted.

      “Tell you what,” he said. “If you can wait until Saturday, I’ll do it. That way you won’t have to worry about fixing your machine or replacing it until spring.”

      She gaped at him. He was offering to mow her lawn? In the silence that stretched just a little too long, pride and desperation arm wrestled. Pride thumped to the table.

      “I can’t let you… If you’d let me borrow your mower…”

      He cleared his throat. “You seem to have trouble keeping engines running.”

      In other words, he didn’t trust her with his gleaming, buff machine. She didn’t even blame him.

      “Are you sure?”

      “Nothing better to do.” When she bit her lip, he added, “Really. Happy to.”

      Her shoulders slumped. “Thank you. I really want the yard to look nice.”

      “Something special coming up?”

      This was far and away the most personal conversation they’d had in five years of being next-door neighbors. She hesitated, but wasn’t sure why. He’d notice sooner or later if a little girl or boy was riding a bike down the sidewalk and going in and out of her house holding her hand.

      “I’m trying to adopt.”

      She felt him stare at her.

      “A child,” she elaborated. “Not a baby. Maybe a six- or eight-year-old. The social worker from the agency is coming to do a home study. That’s why I need the house to look its best.”

      “You don’t expect to remarry?”

      Too personal. She took a step back. Way, wa-ay, too personal, given what he knew about her.

      “Oh, I don’t know.” She inched back some more. “I can’t predict the future. But I hope you won’t mind having a child next door.”

      She half expected him to say, Not if you keep the kid on your side of the property line.

      Instead he shook his head. “Of course not.” He started to turn away, pausing. “I’ll be over Saturday to mow. The backyard, too?”

      “If you don’t mind,” Suzanne said meekly.

      “Not at all. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do.” He nodded and walked away, disappearing into his garage. A moment later, the door rolled down.

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