Their Baby Surprise. Katrina Cudmore

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СКАЧАТЬ wasn’t a coward.

      The feeling that he was at a critical crossroads in his life moved through him, dancing from his whirling brain down to the confusion plugging his chest. ‘How can you be sure nothing will happen? None of us know what the future holds—you need support in raising a baby.’

      She reached down for her handbag again and, placing it on her lap, searched through it, not looking towards him when she answered, ‘I’m sure friends will help me.’

      ‘And your parents?’

      Her fingers clasped the sharp, firm ridges of her handbag bottom. She eyed him warily before mumbling, ‘They’ll be supportive but they’re elderly.’

      ‘Have you siblings?’

      ‘No and I don’t see what the issue is here. Lots of people are happily brought up in single-parent homes.’

      ‘The problem is that I don’t like being given ultimatums. I will decide what involvement I want, when I’m ready to do so.’

      She turned to stare out of her window.

      When they passed a signpost for the Docklands Light Railway, Blackwall Station, he knew they were close to the airport.

      Her gaze fixed on the outside world, she said in a low voice, ‘Even though I don’t want you in our lives.’

      He closed his eyes for a moment, her words stinging hard.

      He was another mistake in a woman’s life.

      Too angry to speak, he willed away the remaining ten minutes of his journey.

      He needed space and time to think.

      He needed to get away from the woman next to him. The soon-to-be mother of his child. He see-sawed from an infuriation at her coldness, her icy assertion that she didn’t want him in her life, to a deep desire to tug her to him and kiss away that frozen exterior to the warm, passionate woman he had spent the night with.

      When his driver pulled up at the departure terminal at City Airport, he turned to her. His words were lost for a moment when he once again was pulled under by her fragile beauty: the pale skin over high cheekbones, the plumpness of her lips, the high arched eyebrows over sea-green eyes that mostly belonged to the Arctic Circle but occasionally reminded him of the sun-kissed warmth of the turquoise sea by his villa in Sardinia. ‘What you want isn’t important. I’ll do what’s best for our baby. We’ll speak again when I return from my business trips.’

      He jumped out of the car and stalked away but pulled up when he heard her call his name.

      She stood behind the door he had exited, her hands clutching the frame. ‘I’ll still be handing in my resignation letter later today.’

      He walked back to her and stared down into those defiant eyes. She pulled the car door even closer against her body.

      He leant down close to her ear and whispered words that came from the very centre of his being. ‘Trust me, I’m not going to let you go that easily.’

      * * *

      Later that evening, Charlotte left the open expanse of the Thames river walkway in Bankside to scoot down Clink Street. The dark narrow cobbled street once again sent an involuntary shiver through her. Now a fashionable part of London, this historic area, famous for Clink prison, still held a hint of menace. And she loved it.

      She loved all of London. It was why she walked to and from her work in St James’s to her home in Borough every day. Her journey took her past Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. Then the London Eye, the giant wheel always making her smile when she remembered her mum’s terror when they had ridden it for her fourteenth birthday. And towards the end of her walk came her favourite, Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre. The timber construction embodying the history that this city was steeped in and the determination of its people to continue its rich and vibrant culture.

      And now she was going to have to leave all of this. Leave her apartment, leave her challenging but exhilarating work, leave this buzzing city. She was leaving for all of the right reasons, but she would miss this life she had worked so hard to achieve.

      Lucien’s question earlier that day as to who would care for her baby should something happen to her came back to plague her again. She yanked the strap of her rucksack tighter on her shoulder, her sports-trainer footsteps falling silently on the cobbled street. What if her depression did return? Not that he knew anything about her past illness.

      A tight, tight, tight cord lashed itself around her throat.

      How would she care for her baby if it did come back?

      That’s not going to happen. I’m strong now.

      She passed a noisy popular fusion restaurant and looked away from the smiling and animated couples and large groups of friends dining there. They all seemed so carefree.

      In her final year at university she had been sucked deeper and deeper into depression. Not that she had understood any of that at the time.

      At first it had just been a feeling of being overwhelmed by her workload, her looming exams and the self-imposed pressure of achieving a first-class degree. Unable to concentrate, constantly tired, her mind swamped by a sense of hopelessness. She’d kept it hidden for months. Not wanting to be thought of as weak. Feeling a complete failure. Not wanting to be a burden to anyone. Eventually she had told her boyfriend Dan and best friend Angie. And had somehow managed to drag herself through her final exams.

      On the night of her final exam she had told Dan once again that she was too tired to go out. To her relief, for once he hadn’t become quietly irritated with her. But later she had changed her mind. Hoping that now that the exams were over just maybe she would be herself again.

      With that glimmer of hope sustaining her, she had made her way to the riverside pub. And had found Dan and Angie in the beer garden. Kissing. Intimately. Lovers intimately.

      Dan had been the first to see her. He had broken away and approached her with a guilty but almost relieved look on his face. Within minutes she had learned that they had been dating for weeks. And it was over between herself and Dan.

      She had gone home to her parents that night. Broken. And had spent the following year slowly dragging herself out of the swamp of depression.

      In the years since, she had wrapped up all the memories of that year into a tiny capsule that sat deep within her. Knowing that she needed to mind herself, protect herself against the depression returning. And she did that by telling herself that she was strong, protecting herself in relationships, and guarding herself against men who might hurt her again.

      She passed an upmarket burger restaurant and walked on by. But a few steps on she came to a stop and turned around.

      She needed a milkshake.

      Twenty minutes later, she turned right onto Kipling Street, sucking hard on the thick sweet vanilla mixture, fears at bay for now, just glad to see her apartment block further down the street and the prospect of watching escapism TV for an hour.

      The drink straw dropped from her mouth.

      And her shock was much too quickly superseded by the hot heat of embarrassment and soul-destroying СКАЧАТЬ