Bright Hopes. Pat Warren

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СКАЧАТЬ you don’t master falling. That means falling without letting go of the ball.”

      “Sounds like we won’t be through before noon,” someone grumbled.

      “More like three or four,” Pam explained. “You’ll have an hour for lunch and then back to work. Our first preseason game is in two weeks. We can’t get in shape on a couple hours a day. We’ll be doing push-ups, sit-ups, running exercises, and in the afternoon, we’ll scrimmage.”

      “It’s still pretty hot to work that hard,” B.J. threw out.

      “So come in shorts. But come prepared to work.” She stepped back and gave them an encouraging smile. “It’ll be worth it. You’ll see. Picture us on Thanksgiving Day walking off the field with the trophy.”

      “Yeah, man!” Moose called out.

      “That’s it, fellas. See you in the morning.”

      Pam stood aside, watching them file off, catching a few fragmented phrases.

      “Not as bad as I’d thought she’d be.”

      “Tougher than McCormick, can you believe it?”

      “Wait’ll Coach Kelsey hears what she’s got us doing.”

      Shaking her head, Pam picked up a forgotten helmet. Coach Kelsey again. It would seem she’d have less trouble winning over the boys than the man whose amused blue eyes seemed to hint that she wouldn’t last.

      Walking toward her office, she vowed to prove him wrong.

      * * *

      AT SIX IN THE MORNING, dew was heavy on the grass in the pastures and the air was fresh and clean. Pacing herself, Pam ran along the edge of the two-lane road, enjoying the slip-slap sound of her running shoes as they briefly hit the asphalt. She wore a blue cotton shirt and shorts, and had scarcely worked up a sweat though she’d been at it for about twenty minutes.

      Loping along beside her, Samson kept up somewhat grumpily, his tongue hanging out, his breathing huffy. Though quite large, sheepdogs had great stamina, and Pam knew he dropped back occasionally not from fatigue but to investigate a tree or some creepy-crawly he’d spotted. For years a morning run had been part of their routine—until Pam’s illness had put a halt to most physical activity.

      Those months confined to a wheelchair, when the debilitating numbness made it difficult and sometimes impossible to do even the smallest of chores for herself, had been the worst weeks of her life. Pam followed a bend in the road, letting herself remember back four years ago, when she’d returned to her father’s house in Chicago from her coaching stint with the Olympic team in Seoul. She’d been happy, in love, planning for a limitless future.

      Bob Conti had coached with her, a tall blond giant of a man who’d never been sick a day in his life, or so he’d said. They’d met in Seoul, two athletes in the prime of life, attractive and attracted, with mutual interests and goals. Love had hit like a thunderbolt and life had taken on a rosy hue.

      When Pam developed flu symptoms after their return, she’d naturally thought them temporary. When two weeks later she’d still felt tired and weak, sometimes having such difficulty with dizziness that she couldn’t walk straight, Bob had insisted she see a doctor.

      Even during the battery of tests, Pam hadn’t really worried. After all, she was young and healthy, an athlete who’d always taken extraordinary care of herself. By the time a neurologist had been called in, her hands were plagued with needlelike tingling and she couldn’t trust her legs, for they would often go numb from the knees down. Finally, the doctors met with her to discuss the diagnosis—multiple sclerosis.

      Feeling warmer now, Pam slowed down, slipped her sweatband around her forehead, then resumed her pace. She’d learned she was a prime candidate for MS. The disease struck mostly young adults under thirty, seventy-five percent of the patients female, thirty-five percent white women from upper middle class homes, a good many of whom had had scarlet fever. Unfortunately, Pam fit the profile to a tee.

      Shock more than anything had slowed her return to health, her movement into the remission state. The doctors had been very helpful, very informative, but she’d been so devastated that no one had seemed able to reach her. Not her family nor her friends. Not even Bob. No one, until therapist Rosemary Dusolt had come into her life.

      Working with Pam’s weak limbs, Rosemary not only pumped life back into her body, she tapped into Pam’s strong will and taught her to learn to live with her disease as well. She convinced her that she could still live a full and vital life by coming to terms with MS. As she grew stronger, Pam slowly came to realize that Bob was unable to deal with her situation, that he didn’t want to be committed to someone for whom life at times would become a daily struggle. Though the hurt and disappointment ate at her, she broke off with him.

      Just as Rosemary had predicted, she was eventually able to leave her wheelchair, to rebuild her body, to heal her mind. Pam knew what to avoid now—extremes of temperature as in saunas and very hot showers; humid places, like the seashore; getting stressed out or overtired. She also knew that she’d move in and out of remission, and that bad times would come again. Perhaps that was why the good periods were so sweet, so much to be savored.

      Needing to work, to keep busy, she’d started looking for a job only recently, answering ads and sending out résumés. The Tyler High position, necessitating a move, had been ideal. She’d be close to Rosemary and away from her well-intentioned but hovering family. She needed to prove to herself that she could go it alone.

      Smiling down at Samson as he came galloping up to her from behind, Pam stretched out her arms and slowed to hug the shaggy dog. Life was good if you didn’t expect too much, if you took each day as it came and counted your blessings. Learning to live one day at a time had been a hard lesson, but she’d mastered it.

      When life tosses you lemons, Dad had often said, you have to learn to make lemonade. Pausing under the shade of an overhanging tree to catch her breath, Pam realized again how right her father was. He’d been wonderfully supportive about her new job, maintaining that she could make the Titans into winners, that she could conquer MS in the same way she’d overcome adversities on the way to her gold medal. Too bad Bob couldn’t have had that kind of faith in her.

      Pam started to run back to her car. Bob was no longer a sharp ache inside her, but rather a dull disappointment. Though Rosemary and her doctors had told her that marriage and children were not things an MS patient would have to do without, Pam wasn’t so sure. It would take a special man—patient, caring, tolerant—to live with and love her. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, for either of them.

      Limitations at the outset of a relationship were difficult to face. And her future would always be cloudy. She no longer counted on finding a man she could love who would return her feelings, without pity, without regret. Pam looked up at the climbing sun. She had today, and today she felt wonderful. Perhaps that would have to do.

      “Come on, Samson,” she shouted over her shoulder at the lagging dog, “race you to the car.”

      * * *

      PAM STOOD on the sidelines of Tyler High’s football field watching the boys returning from lunch. She’d finished her own yogurt and apple juice a while ago and was ready to set up some scrimmages.

      She’d had them exercising fiercely this morning, as they had the past six mornings—push-ups, rope climbing, running through tires СКАЧАТЬ